We live in very scary economic times. Many people have lost their jobs and are having difficulty finding other ones. This is causing families to lose their homes, unless they can find new means of making money in order to pay their mortgages. Retooling and leaving professions or jobs is difficult for everyone. Well spouses and the working chronically ill have less flexibility than most, as they are limited by their illness or the care-giving responsibilities.
I have often written my column about women and their experiences as caregivers. It was not my intension to exclude men, however most support groups I attended were either entirely or mostly made up of women. So naturally, I tend to see things from a woman's perspective.
As the years go by, and your spouse gets worse, and your life gets harder, well spouses often live with emotional paradoxes.
As well spouses, we know the effect of chronic illness on ourselves. We know how it robs us of our dreams, our future, even our identity.
What is normal? It really can be anything we get used to.
Recognition of well spouses has come a long way since I first began writing about them.
Marriage, by contrast, is an institution of close, complementary cooperation. Its success or failure depends upon the the couples, ability to work together as a TEAM. However, in order to accomplish this, we first have to understand that in marriage we carry our own emotional baggage along with us — some good and some, not so good. The not-so-good seems to stand out a lot more.
My generation, for the most part, had a very strong work ethic. It came, perhaps, because many of us grew up as children of immigrants and we inherited it from our parents.
Birthdays, anniversaries, life cycle events are all times we look forward to.
This e-mail came across my desk. It was written by that famous writer known as "unknown author."
None of us would deliberately hurt our friends. We would not tell jokes about the blind to a blind person or to a relative of a blind person.
A Get (Jewish divorce) must be given freely and received freely. A man must be able, in front of two witnesses, to indicate his willingness to divorce his wife.
Last week I wrote about well spouses who eventually chose to get a physicians help with the problems they were having coping, with their partners' chronic illness.
I just got off the phone with my oldest grandson. He is four.
Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/modern-day-heroes-part-i/2009/03/11/
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