Dear Mrs. Bluth,
Please don’t get me wrong but I find the letters that appear in your column really hard to believe. Although I read your column every week, I see it as more of a work of fiction written for shock value, not unlike those weekly tabloids one sees on newsstands. I can’t, for the life of me, understand why this publication, which caters to the Orthodox Jewish community feels the need to highlight such issues that have no place in our Torah life. Were some of them even remotely truthful to some degree, I still feel it distasteful for them to appear in print, where our children may be exposed to their subject matter and may take it the wrong way.
I understand that you face competition from other Jewish newspapers and constantly have to find ways to keep up your circulation up, but must you resort to publishing such offensive and possibly harmful drivel? The truth about life today is hard enough to take without resorting to sensationalism and fabricated stories in order to feed the depravity of some of your readership. As if your column isn’t enough, I have noticed, with a great deal of regret, that other advice and self help columnists of note and respect in your publication have begun to resort to the same method of dispensing advice to problems that have no place in our world.
I know you won’t print this letter because it is harsh and accusatory, however, should you decide to print it don’t change a word to your advantage and please don’t sign my name.
Dear Friend,
Over years I have received a small number of letters like yours. As a rule, I often ignore them as they are written by people who would like to see their letters in print and ride the crest of their own “15 minutes of fame.”
I chose to print yours, against my better judgement, because I detected a certain sincerity and misunderstanding on your part. So in respect to all those who reach out to us with their stories of woe and suffering, and to validate their authenticity, let this be my reply to any past and future skeptics.
Since the beginning of time, from the moment Adam and Chava were cast out of Gan Eden, we have been afflicted with the very depravity you seem to believe only exists amongst others, beginning with Kayin killing his brother Hevel. We may be the chosen children of the Creator, but He created us with the same flaws and weaknesses that afflict all humanity. However, Hakodosh Boruch Hu also blessed us with the antidote to every deviance and depravity: the Torah, the blueprint of how we should live and behave so that we can be a light unto the rest of Creation. Sadly, some of our brethren have failed in this undertaking and every affliction and deviant behavior can be found in our midst, rachmono litzlan.
As to why we bring many of these issues to light in a public forum. This column actually evolved from the terrible circumstances of the agunot, who suffered and still suffer great injustices at the hands of brutal husbands who deny them a get, communities who victimize these women instead of offering them support and empathy and Batei Din who are corrupt and partial. This column offered these broken women a platform and a voice. Bags filled with letters arrived soon after its launching, showing how frighteningly huge the problem was and laying the groundwork for great change. But even now, these many years later, there is still a mountain to climb before we can see the light at the end of this deep dark tunnel. So we keep printing the letters and each one helps us help someone in need.
Along the way, we began getting letters from grandparents denied visitation with grandchildren, from children of divorce about their feelings of helplessness and misery, being shuttled from parent to parent. We got calls and letter about abuse, pedophilia, drug addiction and job discrimination. We received pleas for help on legal matters of every kind, for resources (The Jewish Press has a charitable fund for donations and distribution of funds where needed) and advice. What became evident was that whatever the world suffers from has also found a home in our midst and until such time as every one of us will live and practice the beauty of a true Torah life, we will keep reaching out to all who have fallen and help them, as best we can, to rise up and follow the straight path.
Every letter that appears here is as real as yours. If you find the subject matter addressed unpalatable or distasteful, please skip it. There are many more people who find comfort in the reply that is offered, even though it was meant for a specific letter writer. If you don’t want your children to read it, pull it out – this is a pull-out section for a reason. More good comes from this column than harm, and that’s what keeps us working at it, until Moshiach comes and makes it obsolete.
I hope you have a better understanding and, perhaps, have had a small change of heart. I thank you for sharing your point of view; the opinion of every reader is appreciated and respected. And as such, your privacy is held confidential and your name not disclosed, as requested.