While I was growing up, my parents spoke a lot about the fact that nothing was left after the war – their families had lost everything. They imbued in us a perspective that property and possessions are temporary. Nothing is permanent except for Torah and ma’assim tovim, our good deeds.
Did your mother’s role differ from that of your own? How would you say the role of the frum woman has evolved?
Though my father was busy with askanus, community work, my mother is a more private person. She always found joy and fulfillment in the routine of running a home. When I was growing up my mother’s life centered on raising the children. We lived very simply but had less pressure. We took daily walks, frequently strolling through the nearby Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. Who has time for that nowadays? We hurried less and were less harried. Today children are bundled into car seats and ferried around town on errands. Women today are under much more pressure. They’re expected to work and have more social obligations as well. There are many opportunities to contribute to the community and to pursue varied interest. It is quite a challenge to have the right priorities. Yet, our primary role is to be there for our families. Each of us needs to find our own way and not lose sight of that which is most important. I love the flexibility of working part time, learning with friends, cooking, playing with my grandchildren and taking care of my family.
You mention that you work part time. What is it that you do?
I have the wonderful privilege of teaching at my alma mater. In fact, both my husband and I are privileged to teach in the very same schools we attended. I graduated BYA in ’78, was in seminary for one year, and then returned as a teacher. I’ve been there since; teaching 10th grade Chumash and 12th grade Jewish History. My husband attended Yeshiva Torah Voddath and, with the exception of one year at the Mir, has remained within the same hallowed halls. We are both extremely grateful for these opportunities. A wonderful benefit is that we get to peek in on our own grandchildren’s classes.
Is there a specific person or incident that had the most impact on your life?
Yes. Rebbetzin Zahava Braunstein, of blessed memory, was a cherished teacher and mentor. Her vibrant personality and idealism made Torah beloved to so many people. She was a most inspiring example of a fulfilled Jewish wife and mother. Rebbetzin Braunstein used her talents to motivate others to reach their potential in avodas Hashem. She was a role model to all of us by striking a most beautiful balance and using her gifts to teach others, yet never losing sight of her main priority – that of being a devoted wife and mother.
Do you have a parting message for our readers?
Each one of us can and should contribute to the community. One doesn’t necessarily need to take an active leadership role. But by the integrity of our choices, devotion to our families, consideration to neighbors, even subtle improvements to our personal tznius or growing in our bein adom l’chavaro and improving bein adom l’Makom – we set an example. We create an atmosphere. It’s the sum total of our choices that creates our community. We should attempt to reach higher levels, strive for greater accomplishments and not merely complete our obligations. Each one of us, in our own small way, creates ripples that affect our community.