Four-Part Series For The Three Weeks (To read Part I, click here.)
To help prepare us for Tisha B’Av, we can look to some of the messages from the kinnos that we say on that day. Kinnah #26 is based on a famous Midrash from Eicha Rabbah that at the time Bnei Yisrael were exiled after the Beis HaMikdash was destroyed, the forefathers and Moshe Rabbeinu pleaded to Hashem on behalf of Bnei Yisrael. Their cries did not arouse His mercy. According to the Midrash, it was only when Rachel Imeinu intervened that Hashem promised to eventually redeem Bnei Yisrael.
Hashem consented to Rachel’s appeals with the words “Yeish sachar l’pe’ulasaych” – this is a reward for your actions. The Midrash explains that Rachel had performed a selfless act prior to her marriage to Yaakov. They knew that Lavan might try some sort of trickery at their wedding, so Rachel and Yaakov prepared signs between each other to confirm Rachel’s identity. When Rachel subsequently found out that Lavan planned to substitute Leah for her at the wedding, Rachel gave those secret signs to Leah in order to prevent her sister’s public humiliation. Because she had sacrificed having Yaakov to herself so that her sister wouldn’t be embarrassed, Hashem listened to her pleas on behalf of Bnei Yisrael.
Rabbi David Fohrman explains that Hashem used the phrase “Yeish sachar l’pe’ulasaych” when He assented to Rachel’s plea to hint to another righteous action of Rachel Imeinu’s. This helps further illuminate why her plea to Hashem was successful. After eight of the shevatim were born, the Torah relates a story in which young Reuven brought flowers to his mother, Leah. Rachel witnessed this gift, and asked Leah for some of the flowers. Leah was outraged by this request and shouted: “It wasn’t enough that you took my husband? Now you want to take my flowers?”
It is hard to understand what Leah meant by those remarks. Wasn’t it Leah who took Rachel’s husband when she switched places with Rachel as the bride? When confronted by Leah’s harsh words, Rachel certainly could have argued back, showing how she, not Leah, was the victim in this situation. She now had to share her husband, when she could have had him all to herself.
Instead, Rachel did something incredible. She paused and thought about everything that had transpired from Leah’s point of view. She realized that like Yaakov and herself, Leah had been a pawn in Lavan’s deception. Through no fault of her own, Leah had been forced to marry Yaakov. At that point, he was her husband, and she the only wife. But then seven days later, Yaakov married Rachel. Even though Yaakov had always intended to marry Rachel, technically speaking Rachel did take Leah’s husband. To make matters worse, Yaakov didn’t love Leah. Her only source of love from Yaakov was through the children she bore for him.
With this new perspective, Rachel not only didn’t defend herself from Leah’s accusation, she also offered to forgo her night with Yaakov and allow Leah to be with him instead. It was on this night that Yissachar was conceived. The words Yeish sachar form the name Yissachar. Perhaps when Hashem listened to Rachels’ plea with the words Yeish sachar l’pe’ulasaych, He was hinting at Rachel’s willingness to see things from another viewpoint, to reflect on another person’s feelings, and to behave in a selfless way for someone else’s benefit.
This same middah can be seen in a remarkable story about the Vizhnitzer Rebbe. One of his chassidim was a widowed man who was marrying off his youngest child. At the wedding, the Rebbe asked the widower to please call him after the affair was over, no matter how late it was. There was something the Rebbe wanted to discuss with him. The chassid did as he was asked, even though it was quite a late hour. When the chassid called, the Rebbe asked him about every aspect of the wedding: the hall, the food, the dancing, and the guests. The chassid kept expecting the Rebbe to turn the conversation to what the Rebbe really wanted to discuss, but after an hour, the chassid finally asked why the Rebbe had wanted him to call in the middle of the night. The Rebbe explained: “Usually when a father marries off a child, he comes home after the wedding and talks about the affair with his wife. But you are a widower. And since this was your youngest child who got married, you went home to an empty house. I wanted you to call me so you would have someone to talk to about the wedding.”
What an incredible sensitivity this Rebbe displayed – not only to consider what another person might be feeling, but to do something to try to make things easier for him. This is a lesson that we can all take to heart and try to incorporate into our lives. First, to take a step back and look at things from another’s perspective. And second, to channel our empathy into taking action to ease someone’s pain. If we do this, we can help combat the sinas chinam that led to the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash which will bring us closer to the ultimate geulah, b’mheira v’yameinu.
