I occasionally work for an organization in Israel called Ometz, which tries to inject Judaism (in an engaging way) into educational frameworks, among others, that are primarily secular, building a cohesive Israeli society and educating all Israeli children about their legacy.
The pre-Pesach matzah baking activity, brought me to a junior high school in Rosh HaAyin where I had previously been for a Chanukah program.
We were working with seventh grade, but an eighth grade girl saw me and came over and said, “HaMorah, you know you hurt me deeply.”
I looked at her confused, I hadn’t been in her class that day. She clarified, “What you said about how I was dressed.” That had been months before and I didn’t think she’d heard me.
What had happened was that she was a bit underdressed for both the weather and the school. Even schools that don’t have school uniforms, which this one doesn’t, still usually have some kind of dress code and how shall I say, she was strutting her stuff. I was a bit shocked and I mentioned it to the teacher, actually more of a criticism of the teacher, but anyway. It wasn’t my place and I didn’t see her again.
Until I did. I apologized profusely, asked that she forgive me, and whispered conspiratorially that when I had been her age, I actually wasn’t much different. Another place, another time, another life.
Now here’s the thing. When she came over to speak to me, she was smiling. She wasn’t upset, angry, accusing, resentful, no bad energy, she just wanted to let me know that I had hurt her.
How many people choose to politely confront the people they’ve been hurt by without bearing a grudge, stewing, seeking revenge or sulking? She acted in a mature and spiritually elevated manner. I was so glad I had a chance to both ask her forgiveness and be inspired by her. It got me thinking about Yom Kippur a half year ahead of schedule. She didn’t make asking for an apology complicated or difficult at all.
When I mentioned the story to my supervisor the next day, he was very impressed and said, “She may not look it from the outside, but what great middot she has! You can’t really judge anyone.”
My recent foray back into schools sort of got me thinking that home-schooling isn’t such a bad idea. Especially in Israel, where the classes are very large, and the kids are very outgoing. It can get a bit intense.
But still, schools are places where lessons can be learned, and they are. Even if it’s the teacher learning them from her students.
