Dear Mrs. Bluth,
This is going to sound very strange, even shallow, considering all the real and unnerving problems people have these days, but this is my problem that has been an ongoing source of heartache and disappointment for me since I can remember. I am sixteen years old and from my earliest memory, people have always commented on how pretty I was, except for my nose. It has always been too large for my face and it grew with me to this day.
I still feel the stinging remarks made by my classmates and the taunts about not needing a mask for Purim. As I got older, those comments from the few popular girls in class grew more hurtful and there came a point where I hated looking at myself in the mirror. You would think that my mother would be sympathetic. Then you are so wrong! Whenever I complained about this insulting feature on my face, she would say that Hashem created every person exactly as they should be and cut off any discussion about getting it fixed surgically, that being the only way to remedy it.
I don’t want to be in pictures or even in public if I don’t have to and live for winter when I can cover part of my face with a large scarf. Just recently, the two friends I do have, have begun to talk about shidduchim, not for themselves just yet but they both have older sisters who are in the parsha. During one such conversation, my friend ‘Becky’ turned to me and said that I’d better consider doing something about my nose if I ever have thoughts of dating. I can’t say I hadn’t thought about this before, but her saying it was a hurtful reality, more so because I knew this would fall on deaf ears at home.
So I started working during the summers and doing a lot of babysitting and I have put away a nice amount of money toward the day when I turned eighteen and could make my own decisions. In the course of one conversation, which ultimately turned into a huge argument, I told my mother about my plan and we had a terrible fight because she said she would not allow it and that my reasoning for abusing my face was completely invalid.
Mrs. Bluth, please help me convince her that this is destroying my life on so many levels. What words can I use to make her see that no one will want to marry someone with a nose as long a her middle finger? I am enclosing a selfie so you can see for yourself that I have good reason to want to tamper with Hashem’s handywork.
Please destroy the photo after you’ve looked at it. Thank you for listening and for any help you can offer.
Dear Child,
My heart goes out to you for all the years you’ve suffered in silence due to an overly large proboscis and your photo certainly gives credence and validity to your desire to alter it. In the same breath, however, I also understand your mother’s angst in refusing your want for the surgical procedure. Quite often, when a child is born with an enlarged feature, this often corrects itself and the child grows and the body balances out around the enlarged part. But, in your case, this did not happen. So, we need to help mom understand that your request is debilitating far more than just your face, it is affecting the quality of your life. Let mom read this and I am enclosing my phone number so she is welcome to call me and we can chat.
I just want you to know that, in truth, all of Hashem’s creations are perfect and constructed that way for a reason. When I had to visit the Museum of Art for a paper on the subject, I was particularly struck by one painting I simply could not understand or find any beauty in it. Next to me sat an older gentleman who was watching me take notes and he asked what I thought about the canvas. I told him that, quite honestly, I saw nothing that made much sense, and that I couldn’t understand why this was hung in such an auspicious place.
The man smile and said that he had recently bought this Salvador Dali painting for three million dollars and began to point out the meaning behind the displaced pieces of a clock and it’s scattered parts. As he was speaking a small crowed gathered to look at this painting, many oohing and aahhing about the virtue and message the artist told through his work. At that moment, I fully understood the meaning of beauty being in the eye of the beholder. What I found off-putting and unbalanced others found amazingly beautiful and enlightening.
The take away from this is, just because I don’t see the beauty in something doesn’t mean that others don’t find it beautiful and pleasing to the eye. And this can be said for the young man that was created as your future zivug, who will surely see your beauty where you do not.
I agree that you are an exception to the rule, in that you should have rhinoplasty, if for no other reason than for your own self-esteem, as well as to lend balance to your lovely face. I’m sure that once you speak to your mother, and after she’s seen my reply to your plea, she will have a change of heart.
Good Luck, and let me know how it went. Please send a post-surgical picture so I can see how stunning you look.