Dear Mrs. Bluth,
I just lost my job and sitting here writing to you and going over why this happened for the umpteenth time, I still don’t understand what I did or didn’t do that resulted in my firing. It’s not that I’m upset by my new boss’s reasoning, although it really doesn’t make too much sense, and I know that for the six years prior to his becoming my boss I worked for his father, who was extremely happy with my service and treated me with much respect, so my self-worth is not affected. But it still comes as a great surprise and there are moments when I do feel devalued and perhaps a bit unsure of myself.
I returned to the workplace when my husband of forty-nine years passed away and I wanted to maintain my independence and support myself instead of becoming a burden to my children. I’d been told that I looked great for my age (68) and although much has changed in the way big business runs in this day and age, that I’d need to upgrade my computer skills and become more savvy in my office skills, create a resume and report my prior working history on top of my schooling and higher education merits. This I did and went on to apply for positions that I was interested in. Not too much later, the owner of a vast portfolio of office buildings in a number of other states asked me to interview for a position as his personal secretary/assistant.
I met with Mr. K, an elegant and polished gentleman a bit older than myself, we had a lengthy interview wherein he patiently explained my duties and all other incidentals that were expected of me on this job and he answered the few questions I had. It seemed to me that we hit it off well. Not three days later he called saying the job was mine and to come in the next day. My duties were much different than when I first went into the work force right after graduation and there was much I needed to learn about the needs of my boss outside just office work, answering his call, booking flights and hotels on a moment’s notice along with a car and driver to pick him up from the airports and take him to the hotels. And then there were meeting to schedule and a million other things that were unheard of back in the day.
At the beginning I had many doubts whether I was cut out for this fast-paced, often unpredictable changes on a moments notice and I guess Mr. K smelled my insecurity when I may have let down my guard a time or two. When he called me into his office on my second week on the job, I was sure it was to terminate my employment and I wouldn’t have faulted him. But that was far from the case. He told me that he understood my concerns and being overwhelmed by the demands of my position. He told me that every day was a new learning experience for him as well, and that he was there to help me in any way until I got the hang of it. And he was true to his word. Relaxed and assured that the boss was in my corner, I was confidant and more or less sure of my abilities. In six months time I was a pro. This all change when, three years later, he suffered a stroke and his son, who managed his Florida concerns, moved here and took over the business. And suddenly I couldn’t do anything right. Mr. K Jr. took every opportunity to criticize me for doing everything wrong, even when I did exactly what he requested. He became so overbearing, so much so that when he accused me of making scheduling errors or appointment mix-ups, even when I proved to him that it was on his request, his answer was that I should have known what to do without his telling me, thus making it my fault even though it was his doing.
This has been going on now for the past five months and I’ve had about all I could take of his lunacy. So it came as no surprise, but I quite welcomed the bad news, that he suggested that I look for something more suitable for my skill set, and that I wasn’t working out for him. So, here I am, venting to you and not really expecting any answer that will get me past the feelings of uselessness and momentary insecurity. For the most part, I am proud of who I am and what I’ve accomplished and this sustains me most of the time. But it’s at moments like now that my guard is down and I let those questions creep in. What say you?
Dearest Friend,
You sound like a lady I’d enjoy being friends with! You’re about my age, give or take a few years, married and raised children while pursuing higher education, worked in a responsible field of businesses and gained wisdom and strength along the way. Now, in the golden years when Mah-Jongg and lunching with the girls does not fulfill your plan for the future, you return to the office and were lucky enough to be mentored by a wonderful, patient and supportive boss. until Junior took over. What is evident to me right off the bat is that the Juniors of this world know they will never be Mr. K’s. Their positions in life were not earned, but born into and they feel they can do no wrong but expect others, usually the drones they hire, to know what they want without having to verbalize it, then take credit for the success that it results in, butn ever take the blame for the failures and mistakes they themselves caused.
It’s my guess that Junior is married to an alfa-female wife who lords over the castle and his voice is seldom heard over hers. Therefore, the only place he can feed his ego is at work or in his business, and sadly, it’s his employees who bare the brunt of his bruised masculinity. I’m kind of sorry you let him get to you, but in truth, he sounds like a very unhappy and stunted man who needs to beat up on his staff to feel like a superman. Consider yourself lucky to leave all that and look for work where your skills and life experience will be valued and appreciated.
Now that you have some time for yourself, give me a call, I’d love to get to know you better over a cup of coffee maybe?
