It is never easy to say no to others, but there is definitely an art to doing so. For example, instead of replying to an invitation by saying, “We are sorry that we cannot attend,” say this: “While it would be an honor and privilege to be with you at your son’s bar mitzvah, unfortunately we are otherwise engaged.” This response makes the other person feel special, which softens the blow of saying no.
You need to start saying no in a diplomatic way to some of the invitations you are receiving. If you respond in a warm and caring manner, the ba’alei simcha will not think that you are snobby, and instead understand that you are otherwise engaged.
Chesed begins at home. This does not make it easier for you to decline an invitation, but declining respectfully will be a statement to the chesed organizations that you may sometimes be available – but not always. When having to say no, take comfort in the knowledge that you will be spending more time with your precious children – the prized children who need you and will blossom due to the greater amount of positive attention and love that they are getting.
Balance your social life with quality (and quantity) time with your children. Hatzlachah!
