Dear Dr. Yael,
I am writing to you about my struggle with obesity. I have been overweight all my life. I lost some weight during the time when I was dating. I married a wonderful man who also struggles with weight. We, baruch Hashem, have a good loving marriage with five wonderful children. Our children are all bright, have great careers and are happily married with children. Sounds great, right? It is, but obesity plagues our family. Some of our children control their weight, but are extremely careful about food intake and exercise. We have grandchildren that are very overweight as well. Currently I am overweight and my husband is obese. The weight affects some of our grandchildren’s shidduchim. Please respond if obesity is a medical and/or a psychological issue.
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for your sensitive letter. Obesity is a disease. The World Health Association and the American Medical Association both see obesity as a disease. 40 percent of Americans struggle with obesity. In your question, you ask if it is a medical or psychological issue. Research shows that it is both. Genetics play a role in obesity and weight problems. There are families with obese genetics, but this does not mean that they are doomed to a life of disease. Lifestyle is also a great contributor to weight issues. Even if people have obese genes, they can try to manage their weight with environmental factors such as diet and physical activity. Researchers have identified numerous genes associated with obesity, including those related to appetite regulation, metabolism, and fat storage. These genes make maintaining a healthy weight much more difficult.
While there are now FDA approved medications like Ozempic and surgical procedures that can help treat obesity, these are not usually “first line of defense” treatments. It is best to make lifestyle changes and seek guidance from health care practitioners on how to deal with the weight issues in your life and your family’s life. It is very important to remember that if obesity is in the genes, losing weight is much more difficult as those genes mentioned above that relate to appetite regulation, metabolism, and fat storage, are likely playing a factor in the obesity in your family, and likely make it much harder to lose weight.
Please be VERY careful about your children’s and grandchildren’s feelings as well as your own and your husband’s self-esteem. Hashem gives all of us challenges, and baruch Hashem, you seem to have a lot of good things in your life. Please try to focus on the good in your life and realize that losing weight for families with obesity is very difficult. You can be a cheerleader if it’s appropriate and wanted, but if not, please stay in your lane. Most people who need to lose weight know that they need to lose weight and telling them this does not help the situation. You can offer to exercise with your children and/or grandchildren if that is something you feel could be helpful and not hurtful. You can also offer to cook healthy food and drop it off, or buy healthy food, if again you feel this can be helpful and not hurtful. There is so much controversy about weight issues and the medical, genetic, and psychological issues that affect obesity. Please seek proper professional help. Hatzlacha with this sensitive subject.
