Teaching Social Thinking
For people high-school age and older there are three parts of the process of effectively socializing with others:
Engage in social thinking. This step includes thinking about your thoughts and the thoughts of those around you. This means that you must learn to recognize what your strengths and weaknesses are and to attempt to understand what others are thinking about you and themselves. Social thinking does not end in childhood; each time we enter a new stage in life, we are forced to engage our social thinking.
Adapt your behavior. Once you successfully engage in social thinking, you then need to practice appropriate social skills. Therefore, you need to adapt your behavior to consider the thoughts and feelings of others, and communicate your own intentions in the situation.
Be aware of others’ reactions. People will respond to your social skills (or lack thereof) quickly, feeling that you are rude or polite, awkward or friendly. These reactions from other people are in fact emotional reactions that cannot necessarily be put into words. Watching other people’s reactions to your social skills is also part of social thinking – and learning to adapt after those reactions continues the cycle.
Social Skills and Academics
Social skills are important for friends (and later in shidduchim), but they are also essential for school. Often, teachers don’t even notice when they are testing students on social skills and not on class content. Reading comprehension and group activities require students to think socially. Children who don’t naturally pick up on social cues deserve to be taught them – just like we teach students to read and write. With social thinking, everyone can gain the tools to adapt to social situations.
Register now for an Anxiety workshop by Dr. Paul Foxman on November 17. Please call Mrs. Schonfeld at 718-382-5437 for more information.