“They feel afraid,” said Dr. Elisa Shipon-Blum of the Selective Mutism Anxiety Research & Treatment Center in Jenkintown, Pa. “Many of them say the words won’t come out. Their voice box feels like it’s closing up. Their stomach hurts. Their head hurts. Their body won’t let them speak.” Because the selective mutism stems from fear, it is classified as a childhood anxiety disorder, along with social phobias.
Helping Silent Children Speak
Forcing these children to speak when they are not comfortable can often have negative results. Rather than helping them overcome their anxiety, it will only aggravate the problem. Instead, there are several behavioral techniques that parents, speech therapists, and educational specialists can implement that can help children with selective mutism began to speak. Depending on the child, one or more of the following techniques might be utilized:
- Stimulus Fading: This technique involves bringing a child into a relaxed situation with someone he or she can talk to comfortably. With time, another person should gradually be introduced into the room in a number of small steps. Often, it can take a long time for the first person to be “faded-in,” but eventually, the child will lose some of his or her anxiety when it comes to new people.
- Shaping: Instead of encouraging the child to speak right away, this structured approach allows the child to communicate non-verbally through gestures, facial expressions, and mouthing. Once this is achieved, the child is slowly encouraged to make sounds and eventually words.
- Self-modeling Technique: Through this method, the child watches videotapes of himself or herself speaking effectively in a comfortable situation. Watching this videotape empowers the child with the knowledge that he or she can speak successfully, thereby building his or her self-confidence for unknown situations.
Working With Your Child’s Teacher
While it is important to work with a behavioral expert to overcome selective mutism, there are several ways that parents can also encourage teachers. If you are aware that your child experiences anxiety in school and therefore has trouble speaking, respectfully suggest the following tips to your child’s teachers:
- Form small, cooperative groups. These groups are less intimidating to the child.
- Allow non-verbal communication (signals or card) in the classroom, until the child feels comfortable enough to speak.
- Give the child as much attention as the other students in the classroom, but do not focus on his or her inability to speak. This will only create more anxiety.
“He’ll Just Grow Out of It”
Contrary to popular belief, children with selective mutism do not necessarily improve with age. Therefore, treatment as early as possible is very important. Often, if not taken care of, the selective mutism can be self-reinforcing: people do not expect the child to speak, so the child does not speak. Over time, this can make it even harder to overcome the anxiety associated with speech. However, the good news is that with a few simple steps to reduce anxiety, children who are selectively mute can learn that it is okay to speak – in all circumstances. Soon, your only problem will be keeping him or her quiet in shul!