That they don’t proudly embrace the consequences of defiance means there is another factor at work: as you write, there are people who perceive the actions of the government as “social engineering” designed to “prevent haredim from living Torah-true lives.” I don’t believe that, and the extent to which the haredi world has alienated natural supporters and lovers of Torah should be worrisome to haredim.
But anyone who does believe that should not insist that the government subsidize that lifestyle. I personally oppose incarceration or criminal penalties, but I also would grant no government benefits to people who refuse to perform any type of national service. The haredi educational system is also in disarray; I do not see why the government should support any school system that does not educate its students in a way that will enable them to function in society.
One last point, which goes to the heart of this: I have never heard of a haredi shul where the tefillah for Tzahal is recited. Forget the tefillah for the medinah – why wouldn’t they say the tefillah for Tzahal? I have asked this question many times to haredi acquaintances and mostly been met with stunned silence and occasionally with a muffled “the rebbe…the rosh yeshiva…has never told us to say it.” It is simply inexplicable, a lack of derech eretz, hakarat hatov, and common sense.
I love all Torah Jews and I hate all distortions of Torah. The haredi Torah world has so much to offer, and I refuse to accept this notion that haredim need to be treated like handicapped children with special needs, that they are unable to live and interact with normal people. I will treat them like precious Jews but like adults: those who are poreish min hatzibbur should not be shocked or disheartened when the tzibbur is in turn poreish from them.
The haredi world, on some level, perceives itself as a self-contained community that can insulate itself from the greater society it holds (at least in some aspects, understandably) in contempt. But then don’t be surprised when that same society – which feels the contempt – then decides it no longer wishes to subsidize or indulge that community.
With friendship, all blessings and wishes for nachat v’chul tuv,
Steven Pruzansky
Your Brother in America