The real answer is to “parent” yourself. It does sound a bit poetic and it’s meant to be vague because it means various things to different people. But the intention is always the same: feed yourself the messages you should’ve heard as a child. It’s easier in concept than you think. If you have a child or a loved one, consider the messages you send to them and start telling yourself the same. It’s hard to do, because let’s face it, you don’t like yourself nearly as much as the ones you love.
You literally have to create a structured time every morning and night to nurture yourself. It begins with positive statements – whether said aloud to yourself, written in a journal or both. It then requires you to put on a new lens, the one that sees you as a deserving person like everyone else in your life, and plan your day as if you were this person. Your day will immediately change as you are forced to take care of yourself. If you miss even one day, you’re supporting the automatic voice that is your childhood. With consistency, you will eventually becoming the deserving person you’ve chosen to be and it will largely replace the older version. It takes exhausting effort; but not nearly as much effort as critiquing your every move. The choice can be yours, finally.
To receive discounts on Gary’s Creating Your Best Marriage 11 DVD set program, go to NeumanMethod.com and use coupon code Jewishpress.
About the Author: M. Gary Neuman is a psychotherapist, rabbi, and New York Times best-selling author. He is the creator of NeumanMethod.com video programs for marriages and parenting.
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