If someone wants to get divorced, he or she will go to a rav or a beis din – not to a therapist. Someone who chooses to see a therapist is someone who is looking to stay married.
I wish to emphasize that after a couple has sincerely tried to save their marriage, but is not able to do so, they should make every effort to make the divorce as amicable as possible. Under no circumstances should they use their children as pawns when discussing the terms of the divorce.
Judith Wallerstein and Joan Berlin Kelly, experts on the ramifications of divorce, have noted the success rate of emotionally healthy children in situations where divorced parents remain loving and committed to them. An example: My friend has a wonderful son-in-law who is blessed to have three sets of parents who love him. His parents, now happily remarried, worked together throughout the years and did an outstanding job in the raising of their children. This is a beautiful example that divorced parents should emulate.
Please urge your husband’s friend to seek therapy with his ex-wife in an attempt to remarry – if that is what they want. Despite the discomfort in getting involved, please do not close your eyes to their pain. You can help save this family and, by extension, other families. Hatzlachah!