web analytics
April 17, 2014 / 17 Nisan, 5774
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
Spa 1.2 Combining Modern Living in Traditional Jerusalem

A unique and prestigious residential project in now being built in Mekor Haim Street in Jerusalem.



The Gift of Saying No


Schonfeld-logo1

Share Button

Thank You: Expressing gratitude – through a minimal phrase like “thank you” helps children understand that someone else provided for them in some way and therefore must be acknowledged. Each time a child says thank you for a trivial thing (someone passing him something at the table or helping him reach an object that is high up), he is recognizing the effort other people make in order to better his life.

Family dinner is a great time to reinforce these simple manners. Because food requires a bracha before and after, eating is a wonderful opportunity to teach children the idea of gratitude. Once they have said their brachos, talk to them about something during their day that they are grateful for. Share something you are grateful for, but be sure to avoid possessions. Instead, choose an event or a person that brightened your day. Of course, this need not be a daily event, but instilling gratitude in your children will do wonders towards cutting back on their sense of entitlement and privilege.

Involve Your Family in Chesed

Even if a child is too young or immature to have empathy, or the ability to place himself within another person’s shoes, he can still feel sorry for other people and appreciate what he has. To that end, getting your whole family involved in chesed projects that help those less fortunate is a win-win situation.

Hands on chesed is generally more effective than having your child give tzeddakah because often your child will have only a vague idea of how money will benefit others. There are many options that you can consider when looking for a worthy chesed: there are soup kitchens, literacy programs, and food drives. Doing community service not only helps children gain perspective and empathy, it can also open their horizons and instill problem-solving skills.

One thing to take into account is that when it comes to counting blessing, or feeling grateful, doing chesed one day is not going to have a lasting effect. Rather, create a routine, such as once a week on Friday delivering challahs to the elderly in your neighborhood. Incorporating a charitable routine will ensure that thinking of others becomes a part of your child’s mind-set. It will establish a set of values and construct a solid base for future experiences.

Share Button

About the Author: An acclaimed educator and education consultant, Mrs. Rifka Schonfeld has served the Jewish community for close to thirty years. She founded and directs the widely acclaimed educational program, SOS, servicing all grade levels in secular as well as Hebrew studies. A kriah and reading specialist, she has given dynamic workshops and has set up reading labs in many schools. In addition, she offers evaluations G.E.D. preparation,, social skills training and shidduch coaching, focusing on building self-esteem and self-awareness. She can be reached at 718-382-5437 or at rifkaschonfeld@verizon.net. Visit her on the web at rifkaschonfeldsos.com.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

No Responses to “The Gift of Saying No”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
The interior of the El Ghriba synagogue on the island of Djerba, Tunisia, in 2009.
Tunisian Jew Stabbed in Djerba
Latest Sections Stories
Tali Hill, a beneficiary of the Max Factor Family Foundation.

The plan’s goal is to provide supportive housing to 200 individuals with disabilities by the year 2020.

Yeshiva Day School of Las Vegas’s deans, Rabbi Moshe Katz and Rabbi Zev Goldman, present award to Educator of the Year, Rabbi Michoel Paris.

Despite being one of the fastest-growing Jewish communities in the U.S. – the estimated Jewish population is 70-80,000 – Las Vegas has long been overlooked by much of the Torah world.

She was followed by the shadows of the Six Million, by the ever so subtle awareness of their vanished presence.

Pesach is so liberating (if you excuse the expression). It’s the only time I can eat anywhere in the house, guilt free! Matzah in bed!

Now all the pain, fear and struggle were over and they were home. Yuli was safe and free, a hero returned to his land and people.

While it would seem from his question that he is being chuzpadik and dismissive, I wonder if its possible, if just maybe, he is a struggling, confused neshama who actually wants to come back to the fold.

I agree with the letter writer that a shadchan should respectfully and graciously accept a negative response to a shidduch offer.

Alternative assessments are an extremely important part of understanding what students know beyond the scope of tests and quizzes.

Your husband seems to have experienced what we have described as the Ambivalent Attachment.

The goal of the crusade is to demonize and hurt Israel.

The JUMP program at Hebrew Academy was generously sponsored by Evelyn and Dr. Shmuel Katz.

More Articles from Rifka Schonfeld
Schonfeld-logo1

Alternative assessments are an extremely important part of understanding what students know beyond the scope of tests and quizzes.

Schonfeld-logo1

The key to kindness and acceptance is empathy. A lot of people argue that you cannot teach empathy. While I agree that it is difficult to teach empathy, I believe it is possible.

By multiple intelligences, we mean that people have different intelligences in different areas.

Explosiveness is not confined to a type or a gender. It comes in male and female children, and in all ages, shapes and sizes. Some blow up dozens of times a day, others just a few times a week. Some “lose it” only at home, others only in school, and still others in any conceivable location.

The truth is that you never know what’s going on in a house until you live in it.

Q: What does twice exceptional or 2e mean?

Shimon quickly shoveled a forkful of rice into his mouth, while attempting to scribble the right math equations into his workbook. “(2 x 34 -11)2” he said between mouthfuls. “Mommy, I got some rice on my paper, but I have to finish this before it is time to go in the shower,” Shimon choked out.

First, it is important to establish a diagnosis for your child. Perhaps his struggles with reading are associated with ADHD or a processing disorder.

    Latest Poll

    Now that Kerry's "Peace Talks" are apparently over, are you...?







    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/parenting-our-children/the-gift-of-saying-no/2013/04/25/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: