web analytics
September 22, 2014 / 27 Elul, 5774
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
Meir Panim with Soldiers 5774 Roundup: Year of Relief and Service for Israel’s Needy

Meir Panim implements programs that serve Israel’s neediest populations with respect and dignity. Meir Panim also coordinated care packages for families in the South during the Gaza War.



Es Kimpt Dir – Remembering My Cousin Ruzah


Kupfer-070513

My father was her uncle, not her parent, and he was just a few years older than her, yet the kibud av ve’aim she gave my parents (and my uncle and aunt when they visited) were beyond description. Though so many years have gone by, I remember my first time in Israel at age 11. I had gone with my father and a group of survivors from his area of Poland for some kind of commemoration. We slept at Ruzah’s for a few days – I guess her sons doubled up and we used one of their bedrooms. One night we were supposed to sleep somewhere else, but for some reason it did not work out and we returned to Ramat Gan and Ruzah very late at night. When she realized we were back, she woke her husband up, stripped the beds, placed clean sheets and blankets on them and gave us their bedroom. Nothing would deter her from doing so.

Ruzah gave freely and unconditionally. Many people do go out of their way for others– but they do it with “half a heart,” grumbling and complaining to their friends how hard it was and how much time they spent cooking or cleaning and about the great expense – and it’s all true. But these sentiments would never have occurred to Ruzah, because in her mind – “es kimpt dir.” You were entitled to “the red carpet” treatment, so how could she cut back in any way?

Though she might not have agreed with her guests’ politics or religious affiliation (her sons and grandchildren have been or currently are in the Israeli army), she did not define them by their views.

Everyone was of the right “schnit” in her eyes. I imagine a scenario where she would have said Shabbat Shalom to all passerbys. How many of us have been ignored or rejected because we did not look “the part” or because of a social status, like being single/divorced/widowed/poor, etc. and weren’t deemed important enough to be acknowledged?

I remember an incident decades ago that still saddens and infuriates me. I was chatting to a friend after shul when another woman walked up to us and greeted my friend, giving me her back. Other people have told me similar stories. My “non-observant” cousin would never have humiliated someone that way. She would have risked being hit by a car while crossing the street to make someone feel welcome. Because “es kimt dir – because you deserve it.”

To me, Ruzah was one of the frummest individuals I have ever known. I have no doubt that she is now in Shamayim, “rolling up her sleeves” and putting all the courage and gumption she can muster to approach the Heavenly throne. She will bend Hashem’s ear to be kinder to His children – to be more forgiving of their failings and to answer their desperate prayers for relief from their many troubles. She will be a passionate bater because “es kimpt dir.”

Ruzah was niftar on Shabbat, the 14 day of Tammuz

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Es Kimpt Dir – Remembering My Cousin Ruzah”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Logos of the Arab Bank
Arab Bank Found Liable for Hamas Terror Funding
Latest Sections Stories
Calmer Times. Breslov chassidim on erev Rosh Hashanah in 2012 at the grave of Rav Nachman in Uman.

As optimistic as Menachem Rosenberg is – and he said he is going to Uman – he’s sure that this year, most of the travelers will not tour other religious sites or places in Ukraine.

Three sets of three-day Yomim Tovim can seem overwhelming – especially when we are trying to stay healthy.

Plotkin-092614

Is a missed opportunity to do a mitzvah considered a sin?

Teens-Twenties-logo

The sounds and scents of the kitchen are cozy, familiar, but loud in the silence.

Everyone has a weakness. For some people it is the inability to walk past a sales rack without dropping a few hundred dollars. For others, it’s the inability to keep their house organized.

Not enjoying saying no, I often succumbed to requests viewing them as demands I couldn’t refuse.

His entire life was dedicated to Torah and he became a pivotal figure in the transmittal of the Oral Torah to the next generation.

When you don’t have anyone else to turn to… that’s when you’re tied to Hashem the closest.

While we all go to restaurants for a good meal, it is dessert, that final taste that lingers in your mouth, that is the crown jewel of any dining experience and Six Thirteen’s offerings did not disappoint.

Today, fifty years and six million (!) people later, Israel is truly a different world.

There will always be items that don’t freeze well – salads and some rice- or potato-based dishes – so you need to leave time to prepare or cook them closer to Yom Tov and ensure there is enough room in the refrigerator to store them.

In Uzbekistan, in the early twentieth century, it was the women who wore the pants.

This is an important one in raising a mentsch (and maybe even in marrying off a mentsch! listening skills are on the top of the list when I do shidduch coaching).

More Articles from Cheryl Kupfer
Kupfer-080114

Unpleasant happenings are quickly discarded if they do not affect us directly.

Kupfer-071814

I have always insisted that everything that happens to anyone or anything is min Shamayim.

It is so hurtful to heighten people’s sense of inadequacy and guilt in a matzav that is already horrendous and difficult to bear.

Make no mistake: in the wrong hands cars are weapons of mass destruction.

Where once divorce in heimische communities was relatively uncommon, nowadays every family has a son, daughter, sibling cousin who is divorced – sometimes twice or even three times!

Many go about the business of living frum, observant lives, but they are only going through the motions.

Lately I have been hearing quiet grumblings from people who admit that they regret not encouraging their sons to get a post-high school education after a year or two of learning.

While it would seem from his question that he is being chuzpadik and dismissive, I wonder if its possible, if just maybe, he is a struggling, confused neshama who actually wants to come back to the fold.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/on-our-own/es-kimpt-dir-remembering-my-cousin-ruzah/2013/07/05/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: