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May 20, 2013 /11 Sivan, 5773
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Clean Jokes

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The cleaning itself is okay, though.

Dear Mordechai,

My neighbors have been telling me that they already started cooking for Pesach. Should I be worried?

E.H., Edison, NJ

Dear E., Yes, definitely. OCD is not a joke, and you should definitely be sensitive to their condition. As far as your own situation, it’s an 8-day holiday, and you’re allowed to cook on most of it. How much can you eat, really? Apparently, some people do nothing on Pesach but sit around and eat for 8 days straight. “Keep eating. I was cooking for 2 months, and no one is going to want to eat this once Pesach is over!”

Dear Mordechai,

My kindergartener is having something in school called a “chometz party,” for which we’re supposed to send in any foods that we need to get rid of. There’s nothing I need to get rid of that I have enough of for 25 kids. Should I go out and buy something?

C.K., Far Rockaway

Dear C.,

That’s a great question, because all the things that are appropriate to send to a party – cookies, pretzels, and crackers, for example – are not hard to eat up on your own, mindlessly, while rooting around to find something chometzdik to get rid of. So what should you send in? Cereal? Oatmeal packets? Hot dog buns? Breadcrumbs? I’d suggest making the breadcrumbs into chicken cutlets and sending those in. That’ll go well with the kid who’s bringing in macaroni salad.

Got a question for “You’re Asking Me?” Feel free to send it in. But don’t be surprised if it’s all crumbs when it gets here.

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Welcome back to “You’re Asking Me?” where we attempt to answer questions sent in by people who fortunately have fake names, so they won’t be embarrassed. I don’t know how they got through school, though.

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Welcome back to “You’re Asking Me?” where we delve into questions sent in by readers. We might as well. It’s not like we can listen to music.

While Pesach cleaning, I found a whole bunch of questions that were sent in at some point that I somehow haven’t gotten to. So I’m going to address them now, in the hopes that doing so will get me out of Pesach cleaning.

I get a lot of questions around Purim, and I don’t always have a chance to answer them all. So let’s get started:

You know what I noticed since I started writing this column? That people don’t write in to ask questions so much as they write in to complain.

Welcome to “You’re Asking Me?” the column where people are basically saying, “This guy doesn’t know me at all. Let me ask him for advice.”

Ever since I started this question-and-answer column, people have been coming over and asking me questions.

Baruch Hashem, right?

There are a lot of newspaper advice columns out there. But what makes this one different is that sometimes, you don’t want to ask an expert. Sometimes you want to ask a regular guy who might not actually know more than you.

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