web analytics
March 30, 2015 / 10 Nisan, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Clean Jokes

Schmutter-030912

The cleaning itself is okay, though.

Dear Mordechai,

My neighbors have been telling me that they already started cooking for Pesach. Should I be worried?

E.H., Edison, NJ

Dear E., Yes, definitely. OCD is not a joke, and you should definitely be sensitive to their condition. As far as your own situation, it’s an 8-day holiday, and you’re allowed to cook on most of it. How much can you eat, really? Apparently, some people do nothing on Pesach but sit around and eat for 8 days straight. “Keep eating. I was cooking for 2 months, and no one is going to want to eat this once Pesach is over!”

Dear Mordechai,

My kindergartener is having something in school called a “chometz party,” for which we’re supposed to send in any foods that we need to get rid of. There’s nothing I need to get rid of that I have enough of for 25 kids. Should I go out and buy something?

C.K., Far Rockaway

Dear C.,

That’s a great question, because all the things that are appropriate to send to a party – cookies, pretzels, and crackers, for example – are not hard to eat up on your own, mindlessly, while rooting around to find something chometzdik to get rid of. So what should you send in? Cereal? Oatmeal packets? Hot dog buns? Breadcrumbs? I’d suggest making the breadcrumbs into chicken cutlets and sending those in. That’ll go well with the kid who’s bringing in macaroni salad.

Got a question for “You’re Asking Me?” Feel free to send it in. But don’t be surprised if it’s all crumbs when it gets here.

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Clean Jokes”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Bibi and Obama: Head to Head
Obama Declares War on Israel
Latest Sections Stories
Neuman-Rabbi-M-Gary

Are we allowed to lie for shalom bayis? It would seem so, but what might be a healthy guideline for when it’s okay and when it’s not?

book-To-Fill-The-Sky-With-Stars

The connection between what I experienced as a high school teenager and the adult I am today did not come easy to me.

Respler-032715

Isn’t therapy about being yourself; aren’t there different ways for people to communicate with each other?

South-Florida-logo

Jack was awarded a blue and gold first-place trophy, appropriately topped off with a golden bee.

Participating in ManiCures during the school day may feel like a break from learning, but the intended message to the students was loud and clear. Learning and chesed come in all forms, and can be fun.

Building campaign chairman Jack Gluck has led the effort over many years.

When using an extension cord always make sure to use the correct rated extension cord.

There was no question that when Mrs. Cohen entered the room to meet the teacher she was hostile from the outset.

Szold was among the founders and leaders (she served on its executive committee) of Ichud (“Unity”), a political group that campaigned against the creation of an independent, sovereign Jewish state in Eretz Yisrael.

My friend is a strong and capable Jewish woman, but she acted with a passivity that seemed out of character.

“If you don’t stand straight, you’ll never get a husband.”

First, sit down with your helpers and a pen and paper and break the jobs down into small parts.

More Articles from Mordechai Schmutter
Schmutter-031315

So generally, I dance for a few minutes and then stand off to the side with all the other people who don’t dance and feel like they have to make conversation, even though that’s when the music is the loudest.

Schmutter-021315

Imagine you were a doctor, and then, one day a year, everyone tried his or her hand at surgery.

Dear Mordechai,
How do I prevent my Smartphone from breaking the first time I drop it?
Shattered in Pieces

Because you can’t have kids pouring huge jugs of oil into tiny glasses, unless you want to turn your house into an environmental disaster.

So the real question is, “How can we, as hosts, make sure our guest beds are comfortable?” Because your guests will never say anything.

Though if you do have a schach mat, you’ll realize that it cannot actually support the weight of the water.

Maybe now that your kids are back in school, you should start cleaning for Pesach.

If I’m going on for oven mitts, I don’t want to see sock puppets until at least page 40.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/potpourri/clean-jokes/2012/03/09/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: