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September 2, 2014 / 7 Elul, 5774
At a Glance

Posts Tagged ‘COJO’

Jewish Community Acts To Tackle Economic Crisis

Wednesday, February 4th, 2009

            America has been hit by what is likely the worst financial crisis since The Great Depression. Many Jewish communities have been hit hard, with a staggering number of families struggling with joblessness. Jewish organizations that package donated kosher food report a dramatic increase in the number of families in dire need of assistance. Estimates in some places find that about 1 out of every 25 families is receiving aid.


 


Providing minimum food requirements and making mortgage payments has become an overwhelming and impossible challenge. Many of these households were accustomed to helping others. Now the depressing reality is that they, themselves, are crying out for communal support. And the forecast for the near future is not encouraging.

 

Those who are still only minimally affected but anticipating even worse times wonder how they can possibly help those whose fortunes have fallen on such hardships. It is true that as individuals, we cannot support those who need our help. However, together, we can ease their burden considerably.

 

This Shabbos, Parshas Beshalach/Parshas HaMan, rabbis have joined in a nationwide effort to make an emergency parnassah appeal. As Rabbi Zishe Novoseller, executive director of EPI, said earlier this week, “We are all in this together. The OU, National Council of Young Israel, COJO, the RCA, Agudath Israel and many other major Jewish organizations have united to participate with the emergency aid initiative to help the Jewish community. Working together is our only hope to alleviate the depressing problems facing our people.”

 

A recent gathering of nearly 100 Flatbush rabbonim discussed how best to help the suffering mispallelim, with Rav Matisyahu Solomon, of Beth Medrash Govoha of Lakewood, urging for the Parshas Beshalach/Parshas HaMan appeal.

 

The appeal this Shabbos is just the first step of many to ease the pain of those who are out of work, with the funds shuls raise to be directed solely toward the mispallelim of your shul and community who have lost their jobs during the past year.

 

Communities are encouraged to follow the lead of those in Boro Park, Flatbush, and Monsey who have established a matching funds program that gives two dollars to each family for every dollar that is donated, and collectively, we must network with our contacts in order to assist a fellow Yid in finding a new job.

 

For more information visit www.ny@ny.pcsjobs.org.

Making The Adjustment

Wednesday, February 27th, 2002

Before marriage, the engaged couple has a tendency to emphasize similarities rather than their differences. It’s normal for the couple to idolize each other, and since both are on their best behavior, they fail to learn much about their differences in personality. After Sheva Brachos they are launched upon life as a married couple and true personality traits and value systems become more apparent. Gradually, the two may recognize that they are not in such close agreement on everything as they may have thought they were during the engagement period.

A rav in the community shared a case with me that he felt needed follow-up.

Breindy and Naftoli*, a young couple married for just over a year, tried to talk about their frustration, but their inability to reach each other only led to more frustration and misery. At 2:00 o’clock in the morning, they came banging at the door of their rav’s house. Breindy, in the heat of anger, insisted that he should prepare a Get (divorce) right there and then! When the rav finally calmed the couple down, Breindy stated, “I can’t live with someone who never says ‘I love you’!” Naftoli then responded, “Must I verbalize everything? It should be understood.” The rav then explained to Naftoli that women enjoy a maximum of explicit verbal communication. They want to be told how much they are loved!

In Pre-Marital Counseling, couples are alerted to the fact that their needs always have to be measured against the needs of others in a relationship. So, even though you might not need an “I love you,” someone close to you may.

After meeting with the young couple, it became apparent that they loved each other very much and were willing to adjust but didn’t know what they were adjusting to. Breindy did not know that Naftoli’s personality type tends to be reluctant to share inner thoughts and feelings. Naftoli did not know that Breindy’s personality type needs to hear “I love you” to establish closeness and intimacy. How they learn to give and receive affections becomes increasingly important in the marriage. Breindy and Naftoli wished they had gone to Pre-Marital Counseling sooner.

“Willing to adjust” is what Pre-Marital Counseling is all about. They realized that understanding, appreciation and acceptance of each other’s differences are the building blocks of a makom kodesh (holy place). As Rabbi Shmuel Dishon, shlita, states in his lectures to grooms: “If you prepare yourself before marriage in building a makom kodesh, then Hashem will grant you a makom kedusha (a holy and spiritual home) as part of the sanctity of your marriage.

*Names changed for privacy.

CPC – Center for Pre-Marital Counseling, is endorsed by Rabbi Pikus of COJO of Flatbush, and leading rabbonim and Torah authorities in the NY community.

Moishe Herskowitz MS., CSW, is a marriage counselor and maintains his private practice in Brooklyn as founder of CPC. He is an educator, lecturer, consultant and adjunct professor at Touro College. He is the counseling coordinator for Career Services at Touro College and the At Risk Center in Brooklyn. Moishe is presently working as a licensed guidance counselor for the NYC Board of Ed. in Special Education.  For more information or to obtain a free brochure, please contact Moishe Herskowitz at 435-7388 or at Ladino23@aol.com.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/marriage-relationships/making-the-adjustment/2002/02/27/

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