Photo Credit: Yossi Zamir/Flash 90
U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry

{Originally posted to the Elder of Ziyon website}

John Kerry’s post-abstention speech of one week ago has been the subject of derisive analysis from many quarters. Like James Taylor singing You’ve Got a Friend in France, it just didn’t sit right. It was like audibly breaking wind at dinner with the Queen. Or your phone going off at a funeral when your ring tone is I’ve Got Friends in Low Places.


It was a racist speech pretending to be noble. It was a speech about booting the Jews from Jerusalem again as if it were inevitable and right. In short, there was much in that speech to denigrate, but a girl only has so much time. With no further ado then, here are ten quotes chosen at random for their über-high annoyance level:

1) “We have consistently supported Israel’s right to defend itself, by itself, including during actions in Gaza that sparked great controversy.”

Oh? Is that why you blocked that missile shipment during Operation Protective Edge? At a time Israel was fighting for its life against terrorist tunnel infiltrations and constant rocket attacks? So you’re saying you blocked that missile shipment because you wanted us to defend ourselves by ourselves, meaning without your/Obama’s help? You were just fostering our independence “during actions that sparked great controversy,” such as Israeli Jews trying to stay alive?

It’s true. Some people (Obama *cough cough*) really don’t like that.

2) “No American Administration has done more for Israel’s security than Barack Obama’s.”

Is that why you, John Kerry, in all your adorable shuttle-diplomacy ways never held substantive talks with the other side? From an article in Haaretz: “There were no intensive discussions with the Palestinians of the sort that were held with the Israelis. One reason for this was technical: the difficulty of holding secure video talks with the Muqata – the Ramallah-based headquarters of the Palestinian Authority.”

Really? Go and Google “secure videochat” and see how many results come up. How hard could it be to set things up in this technologically savvy world? It has to be easier than hiding Hillary’s emails.

But it wasn’t about security. It was about the one-sided antisemitic approach of the Obama administration. It was about pressing only one side, the Jews, to make concessions, while giving the Arabs and their terrorism a pass. “At one point we discovered that throughout the entire period, the Americans didn’t actually talk to the Palestinians, only to us,” a senior Israeli official said to Haaretz.

3) “Our assistance for Iron Dome has saved countless Israeli lives.”

You know what Iron Dome is? It’s an umbrella you use when it’s raining. When it’s not raining, you don’t need an umbrella. Missiles are the rain. Stop the rain? No need for the umbrella.

You know how to stop the rockets from raining on Israel? You stop the flow of funds to the terrorists. Far more effective than Iron Dome, and saves a whole lot of moolah, too.

(By the way, little known factoid here: people get hurt from Iron Dome fallout. A friend’s son was badly injured by Iron Dome and spent several days in the hospital. He was driving home when the sirens went off. He stopped the car, got out on the highway and crouched, shielding his head with his hands, when Iron Dome took the rocket out right over his head. Imagine getting hit by numerous pieces of jagged, broken, molten rocket.)

4) “In fact, just recently the government approved a significant new settlement well east of the barrier – closer to Jordan than Israel. What does that say to Palestinians in particular – but also to the U.S and the world –about Israel’s intentions?”

It says that Israel has a severe housing shortage. It says that Jews need to have homes to live in. It says Jews have a right to build homes in their indigenous territory in the small speck of land that is Israel in a Middle East comprised of 22 humongous Arab Muslim states.

More properly, John—you don’t mind if I call you, John, do you—it says something about you, about Arabs in particular, about the U.S. and the world, that all of you would deny Jews the right to build homes in Israel.

It says y’all are RACIST.

See, we don’t see any problem with Jews building homes in Israel. We don’t see why we should pander to your exclusionary, RACIST, and divisive vision of a Judenrein Jerusalem, Judea, and Samaria. So that is why we will build as many homes as we possibly can in the shortest time frame possible.

5) “But if more and more settlers are moving into the middle of the Palestinian areas, it’s going to be that much harder to separate, that much harder to imagine transferring sovereignty – and that is exactly the outcome that some are accelerating.”

What is a “Palestinian area?” Who decided MY land is “Palestinian?” And whatever happened to negotiating without preconditions?

I don’t think, John, that God will be very happy that you usurped his gift to the Jews and gave it to a fantasy people who are really just generally Arabs from ARABIA who were riding what they hoped would be the coattails of the Jews’ prosperity when the Jews started coming back to their native land (after being occupied and exiled by 12 or so different entities).

By the way, if Israel had no problem expelling 11,000 of its own people from Samaria and Gaza in order to cede Gaza as a unilateral gesture of peace, it would also have no problem expelling Jews from Judea and Samaria to create yet another failed Arab terror state, God forbid.

It is important to note here that settlements are built on land Arabs reject. Arabs like the valleys. Easier to farm or graze animals there. They like arable land.

Jews, on the other hand, build their homes on rocky barren hilltops (that Arabs reject) so no one can call us thieves. And still. They call us thieves. Which is a huge chutzpa.

6) “Among the most troubling illustrations of this point has been the proliferation of settler outposts that are illegal under Israel’s own laws. They are often located on private Palestinian land and strategically placed to make two states impossible.”

Not often, John. Your nose just grew about ten feet. In fact, Jews build on private land rarely, if at all, by accident. (That’s what might have happened with Amona. Except the deeds are sealed and the public can’t view them so no one actually knows if there is or ever was a living owner. Or whether that owner wasn’t some Turk who died before the Ottomans left and made way for the Brits.)

From the Virtual Jewish Library:

“As a matter of policy, moreover, Israel does not requisition private land for the establishment of settlements. Housing construction is allowed on private land only after determining that no private rights will be violated. The settlements also do not displace Arabs living in the territories. The media sometimes gives the impression that for every Jew who moves to the West Bank, several hundred Palestinians are forced to leave. The truth is that the vast majority of settlements have been built in uninhabited areas and even the handful established in or near Arab towns did not force any Palestinians to leave.”


“The provisions of the Geneva Convention regarding forced population transfer to occupied sovereign territory cannot be viewed as prohibiting the voluntary return of individuals to the towns and villages from which they, or their ancestors, had been ousted. Nor does it prohibit the movement of individuals to land which was not under the legitimate sovereignty of any state and which is not subject to private ownership. In this regard, Israeli settlements have been established only after an exhaustive investigation process, under the supervision of the Supreme Court of Israel, designed to ensure that no communities are established on private Arab land.”

We don’t build on private land. Not often. Not ever. Not illegal.

7) “But that misses a critical point: the Arab Israelis are citizens of Israel, subject to Israel’s laws. Does anyone really believe the settlers will agree to submit to Palestinian law in Palestine?”

Why? Because Israeli Arabs are so utterly trustworthy, loyal, and obedient, whereas Jews are sneaky and can’t be trusted??  Or do you say that we won’t submit because you think Jews won’t like going back to living as dhimmis under Muslim rule who must pay the jizya tax until the day it is decided the Muslims prefer us dead to stealing our money and treating us as inferior people who must wear two different shoes, walk in the gutter, and wear bells to mark us for discrimination and worse?

As for those oh-so-trustworthy/loyal/obedient Israeli Arabs? According to the Israeli Security Agency (ISA), from 2001-2004, 104 terror attacks responsible for the murder of 136 Israelis were carried out by Israeli Arabs. From 2005-2006, another 38 terror attacks were carried out by 46 Israeli Arabs. The ISA states that 40% of Arab terrorists were once “Palestinians” (hate that made-up term, a total fiction) who applied for and received Israeli citizenship. Almost half, John. Almost half.

8) “The reason building there or anywhere else in the West Bank now results in such pushback is that the decision of what constitutes a bloc is being made unilaterally by the Israeli government, without consultation, without the consent of the Palestinians – and without granting the Palestinians a reciprocal right to build in what will by most accounts be part of Palestine.”

Wait. So by “most accounts” the Jews will at some point concede the Western Wall to the Arabs? Can you prove that, John? Because I really do not think so. And your nose just grew fifty feet. (Which begs the question—can a nose grow feet?)

9) “We also strongly reject the notion that somehow the United States was the driving force behind this resolution.”

Um. Hate to break it to you, John, but the transcript? It got leaked. Yes. That transcript. From MEMRI:

U.S. Representative To The Security Council Coordinated With Palestinian UN Representative On The Issue Of The Resolution Condemning The Settlements

According to the Al-Youm Al-Sabi’ report, “the minutes of the meeting – which was attended by U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry and National Security Advisor Susan Rice, and on the Palestinian side by PLO Executive Committee Secretary and negotiations team leader Saeb Erekat, and head of Palestinian general intelligence Maj,-Gen. Majid Faraj – reveals that the sides agreed to collaborate regarding a resolution on the settlements.” According to the report, “during the meeting, the American side focused on coordination of positions between Washington and Ramallah regarding the resolution on the settlements, which was brought to a vote in the Security Council and adopted several days ago…”

The report stated that “the minutes of the meeting reveal American-Palestinian coordination regarding the resolution on the settlements” and that Kerry and Rice stressed that “they were willing to cooperate with a balanced resolution, and that Washington’s UN mission was authorized to discuss this matter with the Palestinian representative to the UN, Ambassador Riyad Mansour.” It continued: “The U.S.’s representative to the Security Council coordinated with the Palestinian ambassador on the issue of the resolution condemning the settlements.”


10) “Nearly seventy years ago, United Nations General Assembly Resolution 181 finally paved the way to making the State of Israel a reality. The concept was simple: create two states for two peoples, one Jewish and one Arab, to realize the national aspirations of both Jews and Palestinians.”

Yup. Simple concept. The Jewish state was Israel. The “Palestinian” state was JORDAN, created on 77% of the British Mandate for Palestine that had originally been promised to the Jews, in toto, by the League of Nations. The United Nations Charter, by the way, obligates the UN to uphold the commitments of the League of Nations, its predecessor.





But all that is ancient history. The modern history is, they already had Jordan but the Arabs cried some more so Israel gave them autonomy in parts of Judea and Samaria. Then the Arabs cried some more and the Jews gave them Gaza.

It’s called “salami tactics,” John. And the thing is, this salami is getting awful small, your boss’ days are numbered, and when he’s out, you’re out.





At that point? No one will want you back again. But you knew that.


They didn’t want you for president back then and now no one will
want you for anything much at all except as fodder for Lurch jokes and maybe ketchup—something we can anyway get from your wife’s people if we wanted it, which we don’t.

Because we’ve finally figured it out: the more you douse that salami with ketchup, the worse it tastes.




Uncle Fester (left); Kerry look-alike. Lurch (right)
stars of the Addams Family TV show














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Blogger and mother of 12, Varda Meyers Epstein is a third-generation Pittsburgher who made aliyah at age 18 and never looked back. A proud settler who lives in the biblical Judean heartland, Varda serves as the communications writer for the nonprofit car donation program Kars4Kids, a Guidestar Gold medal charity. The author's political opinions are her own and not endorsed by her employer.