And then there is the series of e-mails I’ve kept from an individual of high status in the Jewish community, spanning several years dating back to 2007, that reflect how deep the denial continues to run regarding this topic.
In those e-mails I was accused of misstating facts and of being dishonest, even reckless – although he offered no evidence to support his position. Perhaps most instructive was his attack on my credentials – of which he has none.
But he did not do this to me alone. He attacked many others with whom he disagreed. I am not the only one who has held on to his rants. His diatribes have taught me to be selective with whom I correspond. In a case of ironic justice, though, when a member of his extended family had a problem with abuse, that individual contacted me.
To my mind the approach of attacking the messenger, denying the problem, but secretively turning to the messenger when needed, is at the root of this obstructionism. If we are to finally and appropriately deal with this issue we must do so in a forthright fashion. Hiding from the facts and portraying abusers in a positive or even protective manner, while clandestinely seeking help when abuse hits home, only provides predators with more cover to keep abusing. It allows them to travel to other neighborhoods, even other countries, and continue their destruction.
There is only one clear way to deal with abuse: Admit it exists, teach children and their parents the proper ways to protect themselves, and pursue abusers immediately and professionally without rationalizing their motives.