Photo Credit: Photos courtesy the families
The six Israeli hostages recovered on Aug. 31, 2024. Clockwise from top left: Ori Danino, Alex Labonov, Carmet Gat, Almog Sarusi, Eden Yerushalmi, and Hersch Goldberg-Polin.

“Ok, sweet boy, go now on your journey, I hope it’s as good as the trips you dreamed about, because finally, my sweet sweet boy, finally, finally, finally, finally you are free. I will love you and I will miss you every single day for the rest of my life.”

It was hard to not be brought to tears listening to these piercing words, uttered by Rachel Goldberg-Polin as she bid farewell to her beloved son Hersh. After his arm was blown off on October 7, Hersh survived 11 months in captivity, held hostage by barbaric and brutal terrorists, but before he could be rescued or released, Hersh and five other hostages were executed in cold blood, their bodies discovered soon after by heroic IDF soldiers.

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Rachel shared a message of love and of gratitude but also included an apology. “At this time, I ask your forgiveness. If ever I was impatient or insensitive to you during your life, or neglected you in some way, I deeply and sincerely request your forgiveness, Hersh. If there was something we could have done to save you, and we didn’t think of it, I beg your forgiveness. We tried so very hard, so deeply and desperately. I’m sorry.”

She wasn’t the only one to react to this horrific outcome with an apology. At Hersh’s funeral, President Isaac Herzog also expressed a request for forgiveness from Hersh and his family and from all of the hostages: “Beloved Hersh, with a torn and broken heart, I stand here today as the president of the State of Israel, bidding you farewell and asking for your forgiveness, from you, and from Carmel, from Eden, from Almog, from Alex, and Ori, and from all your loved ones. I apologize on behalf of the State of Israel, that we failed to protect you in the terrible disaster of October 7, that we failed to bring you home safely. I apologize that the country you immigrated to at the age of 7, wrapped in the Israeli flag, could not keep you safe. Rachel, Jon, dear Leebie and Orly, grandparents, and the whole family – I ask for your forgiveness, forgiveness that we could not bring Hersh back home alive. Your special light, Hersh, captivated all of us from the first glance, even through the posters crying out for his return.”

In a press conference later that day, in the context of pressure on him to reach an agreement, Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu also joined the chorus of apologies. “To the families of the six hostages, I ask for your forgiveness that we did not succeed in bringing them home alive. We were close, but we did not make it.”

Certainly cynics and critics will challenge the sincerity of politicians’ apologies, why and when they are offered and if they should be accepted if there was, in fact, more that they could have done.

On that day of apologies what struck me was not who offered them, but who did not. Make no mistake – the biggest apologies should be issued by the evil perpetrators who committed and continue to commit these atrocities, their associates, supporters, and backers. Of course, we are not holding our breath for these apologies. Yet there are plenty more that also are notable in their absence.

Hersh was an American citizen and was also failed by the country of his birth. In all the statements released by members of the US Administration there was no apology, not even a lip-service request for forgiveness for a failure to bring him home. Were they really “working day and night” non-stop? Could overwhelming pressure not have been applied with increased sanctions on Iran, pressure on Qatar with the threat of withdrawing our bases there, withholding aid to Lebanon and Egypt, pressure on Turkey and more? Where is the apology for pressuring Israel not to go into Rafah, a decision that may well have contributed to this horrific result? Where is the apology for withholding arms to support Israel’s effort against Hamas?

Where is the apology from the Red Cross, who failed to visit or protect Hersh or any of the hostages even once?

Where is the apology from humanitarian organizations who are outspoken about innocent civilians in Gaza but failed to protect and secure the release of Israeli hostages?

Where is the apology from the UK who, while five British citizens are still being held hostage in Gaza, and days after Hamas executed six hostages, suspended thirty arms licenses to Israel?

Where is the apology from Canada who took over 24 hours to condemn the murder of the hostages by Hamas in Gaza and then proceeded in the same statement to call for an immediate ceasefire?

Where is the apology from the members of the media who referred to the hostages as “having died” rather than accurately reporting their murder, who refer to civilians in captivity as “prisoners” rather than “hostages,” who write about other hostages being “freed” when the reality is they were rescued?

Where is the apology from the world who, less than a century removed from after the most heinous genocide in history, yet again failed to protect the Jewish people and, in the time that has followed, still fail to truly support our full right and ability to protect ourselves?

While everyone seems to have fairly strong opinions on the matter, the question of whether the leaders of Israel could have or should have made more compromises to reach a deal that would have brought these hostages home is incredibly complicated and difficult with grave consequences in both directions. Though they certainly aren’t directly guilty for the murder of innocent Israelis, ultimately leaders are responsible for the safety and security of their people. President Herzog and Prime Minster Netanyahu were right to take ask for forgiveness for having failed in that role.

What I’m thinking about most, though, is that while some have apologized, and we are waiting for others to ask forgiveness, there is one more group who needs to reflect and should be expressing responsibility.

Our Parsha, Shoftim, tells the story of a corpse found in the field with no indications or evidence as to who the murderer is. The Sanhedrin justices are charged with the task of measuring to determine which is the closest city to the scene of the crime. An eglah, a calf in its first year that has not worked and is not blemished, is executed in the valley. The leaders of the city and the Kohanim are present and a declaration ensues.

The elders of the city proclaim:

יָדֵ֗ינוּ לֹ֤א (שפכה) [שָֽׁפְכוּ֙] אֶת־הַדָּ֣ם הַזֶּ֔ה וְעֵינֵ֖ינוּ לֹ֥א רָאֽוּ׃ כַּפֵּר֩ לְעַמְּךָ֨ יִשְׂרָאֵ֤ל אֲשֶׁר־פָּדִ֙יתָ֙ יְהֹוָ֔ה וְאַל־תִּתֵּן֙ דָּ֣ם נָקִ֔י בְּקֶ֖רֶב עַמְּךָ֣ יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל וְנִכַּפֵּ֥ר לָהֶ֖ם הַדָּֽם׃

“Our hands did not shed this blood, nor did our eyes see it done. Absolve, Your people Israel whom You redeemed, and do not let guilt for the blood of the innocent remain among Your people Israel.” And they will be absolved of bloodguilt.

The Ibn Ezra explains this seemingly unusual process, the Egla Arufa, as a procedure designed to achieve atonement not so much for the murder, as for the sins of the townspeople which, metaphysically, allowed a murder to take place in their vicinity. If a tragedy unfolds in a community, it is cause for introspection to examine what did they do wrong and how could this have happened there.

The Jewish people collectively owe an apology to the victims of October 7, to the heroic soldiers who have been at war since then, to the hostages, and to all of those suffering during this difficult time. We aren’t the perpetrators and would never directly harm a fellow Jew, but if these monumental events are happening under our watch and in our backyard, we are responsible both metaphysically and spiritually. We could and should be bigger and better to one another and to Hashem.

If only we were worthy, if only we truly woke up, if only we changed how we treat one another, how we represent Hashem in this world, following His word and repairing the world in His image, this Galus and this suffering would end.

To Hersh, Carmel, Eden, Almog, Alex, and Ori, to the 1,611 who have died and the 101 still being held hostage, from the bottom of our hearts and from the depths of our beings, we apologize. We are sorry we haven’t learned the lessons of our history. We are sorry we didn’t do all we could and should to create a different destiny. We ask for your forgiveness and we promise to be better and to do more until we live in a way that is worthy of finally changing our condition forever with the coming of Moshiach.

{Reposted from the Rabbi’s site}


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Rabbi Efrem Goldberg is the Senior Rabbi of the Boca Raton Synagogue (BRS), a rapidly-growing congregation of over 950 families and over 1,000 children in Boca Raton, Florida. BRS is the largest Orthodox Synagogue in the Southeast United States. Rabbi Goldberg’s warm and welcoming personality has helped attract people of diverse backgrounds and ages to feel part of the BRS community, reinforcing the BRS credo of “Valuing Diversity and Celebrating Unity.” For more information, please visit www.brsonline.org.