In case you’re not aware of it, we happen to be Jewish. So don’t be fearful of embarrassing yourself with your answer to the following question: Can anyone explain why the Jewish people are the chief crusaders for human rights, civil rights, animal rights, Taliban rights, and rights for creatures nobody ever even heard of — except when Bill Clinton is involved? Clinton could destroy the rights of every living thing on this earth and the same Jewish people
would find it not only enjoyable, but even adorable.

Not only would they find themselves enjoying and celebrating his behavior, but they would violently attack anybody who had the audacity to criticize this gentle, loving, caring, tender man just because he happened to be a common criminal.


Could you imagine any Jew excusing anybody else who committed anything like Clinton’s array of wrongdoings and crimes? Why is it that because of his sleazy, immoral conduct every denomination has refused to hear his voice in its building — except the Jews?

Could you imagine any other publicly known sexual predator being invited to lecture in a synagogue? How about a shameless degenerate calling a temple in Miami Beach and saying, “I got away with it. I’m not going to jail, so I’d like to come to your temple to make a speech for $100,000”? Just picture the temple’s leaders responding, “Perfect, that’s just the price we’re paying this week for predators.”

Throughout his presidency the Jewish people treated Clinton like he was a helpless victim of a conspiracy. They decided that either he wasn’t responsible for what he did or somebody else was to blame for it — and that if he was convicted of any crime, you had no right to mention it.

Why do the Jews, who have won more Nobel Prizes than Clinton has collected girlfriends, check their brains good-bye and reduce themselves to a mob of bamboozled puppets for Clinton? Why does it happen that his lecture dates are a list of only Jewish temples, schools, and foundations? Isn’t it ironic that these organizations that are dedicated to raising standards of morality, decency and humanity are now betraying the foundation of their own principles by
supporting Clinton, whose whole life is a living symbol of the destruction of these same principles?

It is wondrous to behold how Clinton can paralyze the brains of the Jewish population to an extent that he never could with the rest of the country. The reason obviously is that his  studious imitation of sorrowful compassion serves as a unique weapon to seduce the Jews. Since the Jews are the most guilt-ridden people in the world, they are so mesmerized by any expression of compassion that they can’t tell the difference between the real thing and the transparent fakery
of Clinton.

Why are gentiles offended enough by Clinton to make it almost impossible for him to open his mouth in their presence? He hasn’t got enough money to pay a gentile organization to even become a member. But the Jews are ready to pay anything to have him talk, walk, or even look in the direction of their organization.

The Jewish love affair with Bill Clinton is not an unusual story in the annals of history.  Just as there are battered wives and persecuted husbands in personal situations, there are hundreds of examples coming from the same perverted needs in collective situations. That’s why even decent people with honor-roll mentalities become mindless followers of the likes of a Hitler, a Stalin, a Mussolini; why here in America people thought they were being patriots when
they were supporting the excesses of McCarthyism; why the majority of African-Americans still can’t tell the difference between O.J. Simpson and a person who would never kill anybody.

Why, then, should we be surprised that the collective personality problems of American Jews should make them oblivious to the sociopathic character of Bill Clinton? He answers to their needs perfectly.

A Jew always feels like an alienated underdog struggling for acceptance. Jews have insecurities emanating from the fact that they’ve always placed stress on intellectual achievement, while gentiles were always bringing home football trophies. It’s perfectly obvious that when a short Jew with glasses even talks to a gentile, especially one with perfect gray hair, he feels himself climbing up the social ladder like he’s moving from Brooklyn to Newport, Rhode Island.

Furthermore, if this tall gray-haired gentile happens to be a symbol of compassion, so what if he is also a perverted liar? The main thing is that we can suddenly feel like his partner, working together for the same cause. And if he was once the president, who cares about his character?

Because of him, instead of feeling like a Jewish outsider, I can suddenly become an insider by having the ultimate insider in my synagogue. Since he is so handsome, my wife will be in the temple fawning over him with such breathless fascination that she’ll forget I’m a short Jewish man with glasses and she’ll appreciate me in ways I never saw before because I brought him into her “circle.”

Is this worth a minimum of $100,000? At that price it sounds like a bargain even if you couldn’t get him wholesale.


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Jackie Mason is the world-renowned comedic genius. Raoul Felder is a prominent Manhattan attorney.