The Case Of The Conflicting Commitments!
‘A Breach Of Faith’
(Bava Metzia 49a)
Our sugya reviews a person’s obligation to keep his word. One who promises to give something to another as a present and reneges is declared to be guilty of a breach of faith (mechusar amanah) and is seen with great disfavor by the Sages (ibid., 48a). The Ramban (Kiddushin 17b) scathingly defines our Sages’ disdain for such a person and states that they “regard him as evil.”
However, a person is only so regarded if he fails to keep a promise that another believed, i.e., if he promised something reasonable. If he promised something fantastic – i.e., normally beyond belief – he is not duty bound to keep his word as Chazal assume that no one took him at his word.
A Congregation’s Obligation
Does the same rule apply to a congregation? Can gabbaim make the same claim on behalf of a congregation? The Shulchan Aruch (204:9), based on the Mordechai, says they cannot. The Maharsham (2:191) likewise states that a congregation that promises a large gift is not judged in the same manner as an individual.
Poskim (e.g., Sema and Magen Avraham) mention two reasons for distinguishing between congregations and individuals: 1) People rely on a promise made by public bodies, even if the promise is for a large sum of money, and 2) If a congregation pledges a large sum of money, all its members share the obligation, and if one divides the pledge between all its members, each share will be relatively small. In other words, a person is no longer expected to believe a fantastic promise for an unbelievably big donation but rather numerous promises for small donations. Promise for small gifts are believed.
Rich Man, Poor Man
Poskim (e.g., Chavos Yair 45, Maharashdam, and Choshen Mishpat 128) also remark that a rich man who promises a gift is judged differently than one who is poor. A gift deemed small if offered by a rich man may be considered very generous if offered by a poor man. Still, a beis din will not force someone to keep a promise for a large sum of money. He should keep his promise nonetheless since there is moral imperative to act honestly (Maharik, shoresh 118).
A Public Announcement
Rabbi Alexander Katz (HaAgudah 6:66 and in Maharam Mintz 39) comments that if someone reneges on a promise, synagogue gabbaim should announce that he is mechusar amanah – that he is not a man of his word and is disfavored by the Sages. The announcement should be made before musaf of Shabbos (when more people generally are present in synagogue) to punish the person and deter others from acting like him.
Poskim do not mention such a takanah and Rabbi Chayyim Benvenisti (Kenesses HaGedolah 204, comment 9:17, in the name of the Mordechai) states that it suffices for a beis din to merely inform someone that he is mechusar amanah. Rabbi Yitzchak of Vienna, in his Or Zarua, and other authorities (cited in Responsa Nechpah BaKesef, II, p. 265) indicate that even such notification is not obligatory.
Think Twice
Someone who promises a large gift does not have to keep his word, but the Peri Yitzchak (1:51) and Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi (Shulchan Aruch HaRav, Mechirah uMatanah 1) stress that he should behave piously and fulfill every promise he makes. The Mordechai writes: While someone who reneges on a promise of a large gift might not be mechusar amanah, he must be careful in his behavior toward the poor since in their eyes such promises resemble vows to give charity, which surely must be kept.
Tough Choice
A venerable person once sought guidance from Rabbi Yaakov Mordechai Breisch, zt”l (Chelkas Yaakov, Orach Chayyim 24). He had promised to attend a certain event, but shortly before the occasion, he received an invitation for a bris scheduled for the same time. Did he have to honor his prior commitment or could he cancel and attend the bris instead. After all, the Rema notes (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Deah 265:12), “One who [is invited and] does not eat at a bris is like someone banished by Heaven.”
Rabbi Breisch replied that he should honor his first commitment. He cited the Rema as proof for his position since the Rema (ibid.) adds that one need not attend a bris if one wishes to avoid certain unworthy people. Hence, if attending a bris involves insulting people to whom one already made a promise – and making him a mechusar amanah – one surely need not attend, and one is not “banished” as a result.