Tu B’Av which we’ll celebrate, b’ezrat Hashem, this week is the Jewish holiday of shidduchim.
The Talmud counts five good things that happened to our ancestors on Tu B’Av. The Gemara in Masechet Taanit even compares Tu B’Av to Yom Kippur. “Amar Raban Shimon Ben Gamliel, ‘Lo hayu yamim tovim l’Yisrael ke’Chamisha Asar B’Av u’cheYom Hakippurim, she’bahen bnot Yerushalayim yotzot bikley lavan” – According to Rabban Shimon Ben Gamliel, there haven’t been better days for Am Yisrael than Tu B’Av and Yom HaKippurim, where the young women would wear white dresses and go out to dance in the vineyards. The Gemara continues to describe how the single men would go there and find a bride. The reason that the women wore white was so that those who couldn’t afford fancy dresses would not be embarrassed since they all dressed similarly.
When I was younger – with fewer pounds on me, more hair on my head, and single – I really enjoyed going to concerts and music festivals. Besides the good music, it was a great opportunity to meet, mingle, and maybe find my “bashert.” While these events were not necessarily in a vineyard, many young singles attended. But besides the possibility of finding a bride, it was also just a way to enjoy the summer.
Traditionally, August is the Jewish music festivals and concerts month. It’s just after the Three Weeks and Tisha B’Av, when many people are taking vacations, and what more fun is there than spending an evening outside with good music, a good vibe, good food, and the opportunity to meet friends and new people? And for the singles among us to maybe also find their shidduch…
While I ended up meeting my wife online, when I was younger I did get some dates through concerts, classes, or other events such as weddings, etc.
The key to success is very simple: If you see someone you like, don’t be shy – approach her (or him), introduce yourself, be nice, and have a chat.
After that, ask for a phone number. If you don’t get a number, don’t be discouraged. Sometimes it works and sometimes not.
So with the upcoming holiday of Tu B’Av this week, I’d like to explore some songs which talk about love.
Neil Sedaka is an American singer, songwriter, and pianist. Since his music career began in 1957, he has sold millions of records worldwide and has written or co-written over 500 songs for himself and other artists, according to Wikipedia. One of the beautiful songs he performs is “Bei Mir Bist Du Shein,” a popular Yiddish song written by lyricist Jacob Jacobs and composer Sholom Secunda for a 1932 Yiddish language comedy musical. The title means “To me you are beautiful.”
“Bay mir bistu sheyn, bay mir hos tu heyn, bay mir bistu eyner oyf der velt” – To me you are lovely, to me you are charming, to me you are the only one in the world. (This time I didn’t have time to ask my mom to translate the song, so I took the translation from the website www.hebrewsongs.com.)
The song sounds like typical klezmer music. It starts with a piano intro, and then you can hear an accordion and clarinet in the background. The upbeat klezmer rhythm makes you want to listen to the song again and again in loops. There are other performances of this song, but I liked the one by Neil Sedaka best.
Mendel Roth is the son of the Admor of Shomrei Emunim. For the last year, Roth is serving as a fighter in the IDF in the Chashmonaim brigade. Roth has a very unique and interesting story; I wrote about him in one of the first columns. (You can find it on The Jewish Press website, www.jewishpress.com.)
One of Roth’s most popular songs is a love song, also in Yiddish, called “Shir Gagu’im LeRachel” – A song of longing for Rachel. It’s a melancholy song in which he is praying for love. “I composed the song in Beit Midrash Chasidi in Ashdod,” Roth writes in the song’s description on his YouTube channel, where you can listen to the song. He says that he learned the pasuk in Parashat Vayechi, “Vaani bevo’ei mi’Padan Aram, meita alai Rachel baderech,” about how Rachel passed away on the road. And then, continues Roth, he could see how Yaakov Avinu, with tears in his eyes, tells his son Yosef of the great love he had for his mother. And then, continues Roth, he is reminded that he too is seeking his bashert. There in the beit hamidrash, the song was born. A song which speaks about Yaakov’s love for Rachel. A song about the yearning of Mendel Roth for his love, which he hasn’t found yet.
It starts with acoustic guitar accompanied by a flute, which gets you into the atmosphere of the song.
And I’m Yaakov. So many years I waited and worked for you. Seven years, and another seven years. Until your light shines.
And I’m Yaakov. For so many years I was yearning and cried for you. Seven years, and another seven years. Until our house was filled with your light.
Mother Rachel, where are you?
I’ve waited and waited so many years, that you’ll reveal yourself to me.
Perhaps not the most familiar song of Aharon Razel, but a very nice one, is “Lihyot Achat Mamash” – To be one. This is a love song for which Razel composed the words from Chovas HaTalmidim by the Piasetzna Rebbe, Rabbi Kalonymus Kalman Shapira.
Another beautiful love song is “Ahavat Olam” by Udi Davidi.
I still remember the song “Ve’erastich Li” by Reva L’Sheva. Reva L’Sheva was an Israeli Jewish rock band formed by lead singer Yehudah Katz. The band was formed in 1994 and “Ve’erastich Li” was one of their popular songs. You can still find it on YouTube. Old, yet good. You should also check the “Ve’erastich Li” by Sinai Tor.
Many years ago, when I was young and single and lived in “the scene” (a community of Modern Orthodox singles), one of my favorite TV shows (not only mine, but pretty much of almost all of my single friends back then) was Srugim. Srugim, which began in 2008, was a TV show depicting the life of the young dati le’umi (Modern Orthodox) singles who live in the “Bitza” (if you translate the word to English, it will be “swamp” – which somewhat accurately describe the situation; in the U.S., on the Upper West Side, they call it “the scene”) and their struggle to find love and get married. The show was perhaps one of the most talked about TV shows back then. It opened a window on the life of the dati le’umi young professionals who live in communities such as Katamon in Jerusalem and Givat Shmuel near Ramat Gan. The show was based on real people. Let’s say that I knew personally the guy that Nati’s character was based on – he even danced at my wedding. Don’t worry, he’s happily married today with kids.
Anyway, the theme for Srugim was the song “Ana Efne” by Erez Lev Ari which also became a big hit, mostly because of the show.
I want to finish with a beautiful love song that I was just recently introduced to, when I wrote about Yehuda Luechter a few weeks ago and listened to this song of his.
“Zohar Kochavim” is a beautiful song which combines acoustic guitars and Oriental instruments such as kamanche as well as percussion instruments. “This is a legend about a beautiful girl in the middle of the desert who comes to pump water. The moonlight shines, she looks at the skies, her lover returns after two thousand years, she starts to sing…”
Happy Tu B’Av. Chag Ahava Sameach.
