Photo Credit: Jewish Press

Dear Readers,

Over Pesach I had the opportunity to speak at the Katz Pesach Program on dealing with stress. Clearly, our lives are very busy and stress is part of the package. The question is: How can we best deal with the challenges Hashem gives us?

Advertisement




Here are two stories that help me deal with the challenges thrown my way:

So often when we are upset at someone or some sort of situation, it is because we truly do not have the complete picture. There was once a man with six children who was taking the children away for the day. They made their way on to the Long Island Rail Road and found some seats. Now, these children were a little wild, and one of them, the one carrying a red lollipop, made his way to a seat next to a woman in a fancy white suit. Well, wouldn’t you know it, he decided that he didn’t want his lollipop anymore and accidentally put it down on the lady’s skirt.

The big red stain was not a pretty one and the woman, well, she reacted as you can imagine and began yelling at the man. “What is wrong with you that you can’t discipline your children?” she said. The man began to cry and told her that his wife had died from cancer about a month before and he was having a hard time getting the children under control.

Well, the woman in the fancy suit completely changed her attitude when she heard that. She looked through her purse and found some small trinkets she kept for her grandchildren and distributed to the children. She also started playing with and talking to them. She was no longer angry about the large red stain on her white suit.

We can never know what is truly taking place in another person’s life. I always tell people who complain about the lack of a place card at a wedding that the baal simcha was probably so overwhelmed that he or she simply forgot. There is no reason to get upset or insulted.

Now for the second story.

Some time ago, a man caught his young daughter using an entire roll of wrapping paper to cover a box she wished to give as a gift. Money was tight and he felt she was wasting, and he yelled at her.

The next morning, the little girl brought the wrapped box to her father and said, “This is for you, Abba.”

The man was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again (he did have a very bad temper) when he found out the box was empty. He yelled at her, “Don’t you know when you give someone a present there is supposed to be something inside?”

The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and cried, “Oh, Abba, it’s not empty at all. I blew kisses into the box. They’re all for you, Abba.”

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and begged for her forgiveness.

Only a short time later, that little girl died. The father kept that gold box by his bed for many years and, whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

Each one of us has been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses, from our children, family members, friends, and from our Creator, Who created us out of love and sent us here with all we need to fulfill our mission. This is the greatest gift. Sometimes when looking at our lives we see nothing but an empty box, but if we look deeper, we will find the kisses.

No matter what challenges we face, we must look deep inside to find the strength and resources Hashem has given us. The greater our emunah and bitachon in Him, the easier it will be to overcome our challenges.

I wish all my readers hatzlocha in dealing with the challenges that Hashem gives us.

Advertisement

SHARE
Previous articleThe Family Satan
Next articleNorth Korea Test-Fires New KN-17 Ballistic Missile [video]
Dr. Yael Respler is a psychotherapist in private practice who provides marital, dating and family counseling. Dr. Respler also deals with problems relating to marital intimacy. Letters may be emailed to [email protected]. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Orit Respler-Herman, a child psychologist, co-authors this column and is now in private practice providing complete pychological evaluations as well as child and adolescent therapy. She can be reached at 917-679-1612. Previous columns can be viewed at www.jewishpress.com and archives of Dr. Respler’s radio shows can be found at www.dryaelrespler.com.