In a column a number of years ago entitled “Marital Therapy Solo or Joint,” I wrote: “I usually handle marital therapy by speaking with the wife and husband separately. I try to hear their individual views and then attempt to help both of them work on themselves – separately. This way, both the husband and wife can feel comfortable talking about what is bothering them, followed by my attempt to find a way to help the spouses – independently – change certain behaviors. My goal is to not hurt them unnecessarily. As a therapist, I have the ability to help each spouse work on areas that need improvement by using their strengths to help build them up.”
I am impressed that you have taken the time over the years to work on yourself and to try to be more positive. I wish you much hatzlacha on your journey to remarriage.