How You Can Avoid Lying
I’ve pointed out a few reasons why people lie, but for many of us, these lies are just part of the way we function on a daily basis. In reality, though, these lies are affecting our relationships, friendships, and even business interactions. So, how can we avoid lying?
Get to the root. Try to understand what your reasons for lying are – are you trying to deflect blame? Save face? Make yourself feel better? Once you understand why you are lying, you might be better able to tell the truth with similar results.
Flip it around. If you are lying to deflect blame, think about how you would feel if someone lied and blamed you for something you did not do. Walking in someone else’s shoes might convince you to stick with the truth.
Consider options. Before you lie, think about all your other options. If you still think the lie is the best solution, maybe you should reconsider your relationship with the person you are lying to – why do you feel the need to lie? What is the cost of the truth?
Stop justifying. If you are lying to make yourself feel better or to save face, stop justifying! Taking responsibility for your actions (and words) is the most effective way to lose that weight, pay those bills, and even maintain those friendships.
Build your self-esteem. Robert Feldman, a psychology professor at University of Massachusetts, explains that self-esteem is one of the biggest offenders in our dishonest actions. He said that studies have “found that as soon as people feel that their self-esteem is threatened, they immediately begin to lie at higher levels.” The farther you are from your ideal self, the more likely you are to boost yourself up in your own or other people’s eyes. So, if you build your self-esteem, you will be less likely to feel the need to lie.
Perhaps Mark Twain said it best, “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” And, wouldn’t that make life easier?