web analytics
August 29, 2014 / 3 Elul, 5774
At a Glance
InDepth
Sponsored Post
Jerusalem Mayor Nir Barkat (L) visits the JewishPress.com booth at The Event. And the Winners of the JewishPress.com Raffle Are…

Congratulations to all the winners of the JewishPress.com raffle at The Event



Home » InDepth » Op-Eds »

A Message To Parents of Coed College-Bound Students


As a campus kiruv rabbi, I have raised this issue with my colleagues a number of times and invariably they respond, “Sorry, we can’t help everyone. Our focus is on the unaffiliated students.”

I cannot tell you how many applications I’ve received from yeshiva high school alumni who have stopped observing Shabbos but who beg to go on our Israel experience (which has Torah learning and touring components) – and how many of those I’ve had to turn down because the kiruv organizations cannot take them.

For one thing, the organizations rightly believe that the Jewish issues a secular college student struggles with are different from the ones confronting a yeshiva high school alumnus. For another, the funders of the various kiruv organizations have limited funds. And they feel the Orthodox students are the responsibility of their home communities.

That being the case, why do we spend hundreds of thousands of dollars in tuition educating children through high school and spend next to nothing afterward?

Some Possible Solutions

The reality is that there are no easy answers. I’d like, however, to put forth some ideas.

Going to a good university is not just part of growing up Modern Orthodox; it perhaps has become its leitmotif. Any suggestion that students not go to a coed college would immediately be greeted by derisive eye rolling or worse. So what are these young men and women to do?

1. A year of Torah study in Israel for American students should be de rigueur. While many parents fear their children will be brainwashed and decide not go to college once the year is up, statistics don’t bear that out. (See a study by Dr. Shalom Berger in the book Flipping Out which indicates the overwhelming majority of these young people are not deserting college for a life in kollel. They are more likely to return to college, but with a far more intense commitment to the core elements of Jewish continuity and belief, something that will certainly help them navigate the challenging years ahead.)

2. More funding, resources and – crucially – staffing needs to be poured into the programs on campus that work directly with Orthodox students.

3. We need to get the kiruv organizations more involved with our yeshiva high school alumni. Kiruv rabbis are in a unique position to help these students. As stated above, many kiruv organizations are reluctant to get involved. But if the community were to demand it, it would be more likely to happen. As we have seen in the political arena, if there is a grassroots movement for change, change will come.

4. Emunah and issues of maintaining one’s Judaism in the modern world need to be stressed far more in Modern Orthodox high schools. The standard classes of Tanach, Gemara and halacha simply do not suffice. (An excellent organization with emunah and hashkafah programming is Project Chazon, run by Rabbis Mechanic and Millstein.) In addition, students must develop a close relationship with a rabbi or a mentor with whom they can speak openly about any and all issues.

5. Parents themselves must set a better example for their children. Young people can easily sense when their parents are preaching but not practicing. Young people need to see parents who attend shiurim, are involved in chesed projects, etc.

6. Modern Orthodoxy seeks to synthesize the world with Torah and Judaism. As one eminent kiruv rabbi and thinker has suggested, students attending college must be inculcated with the idea that they aren’t merely trying to fight off their yetzer hara but rather must see themselves as ambassadors of Judaism, spreading the Torah’s values to other Jews and the campus in general. This sense of mission is a powerful vehicle for one’s own spiritual growth.

7. Most important, this problem must become a major point of discussion in our communities. Even if we don’t have clear answers, the mere fact that it is being discussed is a step in the right direction. Nothing less than the Jewish future is at stake.

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “A Message To Parents of Coed College-Bound Students”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Hamas chief Khalid Mashaal in Gaza
Mashaal Vows Cease-Fire a Step to New ‘Resistance’ War against Israel
Latest Indepth Stories
TorahScroll AoT17

The congregants, Ethiopians spanning generations, were beaming with joy and pride.

Troodler-082914

The withdrawal from the Gaza Strip nine years ago did not enhance Israel’s security.

Eisenstock-082914

How does a soldier from a religious home fall in love with a soldier from a non- religious kibbutz?

Israeli-flag

In 19th century entire ancient Jewish communities fled Palestine to escape brutal Muslim authorities

Responsibility lies with both the UN and Hamas, and better commitments should have been demanded from both parties in the ceasefire.

But the world is forever challenging our Jewish principle and our practices.

If this is how we play the game, we will lose. By that I mean we will lose everything.

Reportedly, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, and the United Arab Emirates have formed a bloc that seeks to counter Islamist influence in the Middle East.

One wonders how the IDF could be expected to so quickly determine the facts.

While there is no formula that will work for everyone, there are some strategies that if followed carefully and consistently can help our children – and us – gain the most from the upcoming school year.

We risk our lives to help those who do what they can to kill to our people .

Twain grasped amazingly well the pulse of the Jewish people.

The entertainment industry appears divided about the conflict between Israel and Hamas.

Israelis in Gaza border communities need to get out; who will help them?

More Articles from Rabbi Meir Goldberg

Summer’s warmth gives way to autumn’s chill. A new year beckons, not just for Klal Yisrael but also for the game that has become our country’s favorite sport – no, our national obsession: football.

The Stories

1. Josh is a 20-year-old college student who was given a yeshiva education from kindergarten through 12th grade. No doubt his parents spent well over $100,000 for his solid Jewish education. He is involved in Jewish life on campus and attends minyan regularly, though life on campus is a spiritual battle. So when he told me he went to his college football team’s stadium to attend a game on a Shabbos afternoon, I was a little disappointed.

Ah, the sights, sounds and smells of spring. Fathers roasting succulent hot dogs on a flaming grill; children frolicking carefree on the lawn, playing with their little friends; bees buzzing excitedly over their newest source of sweet, golden nectar; ducks quacking incessantly, splashing in a pond; white, puffy, cumulous clouds sailing through the clear blue skies like an armada of misty ships going out to sea.

Forty years ago, the teshuvah movement was in its infancy. Since then, due to the efforts of some determined individuals, the phenomenon has blossomed, positively impacting Jewish communities worldwide. It would be beneficial to take a step back to see where we are today and what the trends are for the future.

    Latest Poll

    Do you think the FAA ban on US flights to Israel is political?






    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/indepth/opinions/a-message-to-parents-of-coed-college-bound-students/2010/01/20/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: