Make Decisions. One of the meanings of the word “manly” is being decisive. A man needs to make decisions and take responsibility for the outcome. Part of making decisions is being able to understand the other person’s views and exhibiting flexibility. A wife doesn’t want someone controlling her, but she also doesn’t want someone who leaves every decision to her. A man who is afraid of making a wrong decision should ask himself: Who should make decisions – someone who isn’t afraid of making mistakes?
Be Strong. The Talmud defines a strong person as someone who can control his emotions. A man who can control his anger is better than a warrior who conquers cities. Blowing up in anger can seriously damage a relationship.
If a man thinks he can’t control his anger, let him imagine this scenario: He happens to be very angry with someone just as the telephone rings – and it’s his boss. Would he calm down? Of course he would, or he’d lose his job.
Not getting angry doesn’t mean he accepts bad treatment, but that he calmly sets limits on the treatment he accepts from others.
Be manly. Being manly is not being macho. Manliness consists of positive qualities: decisiveness, strength in one’s convictions, confidence, self-reliance, high moral qualities, self-discipline, honesty, and integrity. A man who is manly has the courage to be able to deal with difficulty, pain or danger without backing away despite his fear. Is manly strength a virtue? One of the meanings of the word virtue is manly strength.
To women: Ask your husband to read this. To men: If you haven’t heard these ideas before, ask your wife if this is what she wants. You may be surprised at her response.
