Mr. Meyer visited his son for the holidays. At the Yizkor appeal for the poor, the shul distributed pledge cards with each member’s name. Guests received anonymous pledge cards.
Mr. Meyer vacillated in his mind about how much to donate, and finally folded down one of the tabs. After Yom Kippur, he packed up quickly to get home at a reasonable hour and didn’t have a chance to leave a check to cover his donation.
Mr. Meyer’s son came to visit for the first half of Sukkos. Mr. Meyer wanted to honor his pledge and send a check back with him, but he no longer remembered exactly how much he had pledged.
“What do you suggest?” Mr. Meyer asked his son.
“I’ll call the gabbai of the shul, and see if he has a record,” said Mr. Meyer’s son.
“The pledge cards for members have names, but not for guests,” said the gabbai. “The anonymous pledge cards have a wide range of sums, so I can’t tell how much your father pledged.”
Mr. Meyer tried again to remember how much he pledged but was unable to. He usually gave $100, but sometimes $200 or $250, and on special occasions even $360.
Mr. Meyer raised the question at the dinner table on Chol HaMoed.
“You only have to give what you’re sure of,” said one family member.
“Assume what you most often give,” suggested another.
“I think you should compromise and give the average, halfway between the minimum and maximum,” said a third.
“It’s going to tzedakah anyway,” piped up a fourth. “Give the max!”
Mr. Meyer decided to call Rabbi Dayan.
“I don’t remember how much I pledged at the Yizkor appeal,” he told him. “Somewhere between $100 and $360. How much should I give?”
“There is a difference between a monetary claim and a pledge to charity,” replied Rabbi Dayan. “Regarding a monetary claim, the burden of proof is on the plaintiff. If neither party remembers how much was owed, the defendant has to pay only the sum that is certain.” (C.M. 75:18)
“However,” he continued, a pledge to charity is compared to a vow, which is a potential Torah prohibition. Therefore, regarding a questionable vow or pledge we follow the stringent possibility, as any other safek d’oraysa.” (Y.D. 208:1; 258:3)
“If there were only two possibilities, I understand following the higher amount,” said Mr. Meyer. “However, here the pledge could have been any amount from $100 to $360!”
“You are required to give, out of doubt, the maximum that you might have reasonably pledged,” replied Rabbi Dayan. “This is based on a Mishnah [Menachos 106b] regarding one who forget how much he consecrated to the Temple. He is required to give the amount that he can comfortably say, ‘I didn’t pledge more than this.’
“Similarly, Chasam Sofer writes that if a person pledged to a specific cause, but forgot which, he is required to donate to all the possible causes. This is his responsibility to fulfill his pledge. None of the causes can demand the money, though, since his obligation to them is doubtful.” (Pischei Teshuvah Y.D. 258:5)
“Nonetheless, Aruch Hashulchan [Y.D. 258:10] writes that in our situation the person can do hataras nedarim, or appeal his vow,” concluded Rabbi Dayan. “He can say that had he known he would forget the amount he pledged, he would not have committed. He is then freed from the original pledge and can give what he wants.” (See Derech Emunah, Matnos Aniyim 8:521)
