Samuel Scherr was a very successful businessman. He also was generous and would share of his wealth with others. In this way, he became the uncle of favor to his nieces and nephews, whom he would frequently shower with gifts.
On the occasion of Mr. Scherr’s twentieth wedding anniversary, two of his older, married nephews came to visit him. Shlomo had a comfortable job while Dan was in a difficult financial state. The two congratulated their uncle and wished him many more years of blessed marriage. Mr. Scherr took out some drink and they shared a l’chaim together.
Mr. Scherr was in a good mood. A grin spread across his face. “Come back tomorrow and I’ll give you each a check for ten grand,” he said to his two nephews. “Ten and ten is twenty, just like the years of our harmonious marriage!”
“Thanks Uncle Sam,” Dan and Shlomo said. “That’s really nice of you.” They walked out happily, each dreaming how they might spend the sudden windfall.
The following day, Shlomo and Dan returned to receive the checks. They were ushered into Mr. Scherr’s office. After talking a little, Shlomo said, “You told us yesterday that each of us would receive ten thousand dollars.”
“I know, but when I reviewed my accounts last night, I saw this was a bit much,” said Mr. Scherr apologetically. “And what about the other married nieces and nephews when they hear about this? I’m going to have to cut it down to three thousand each.”
“That’s a big problem,” complained Dan. “We had no idea how we were going to cover the kids’ summer programs, and were hoping to use this!”
“But I only said I was going to give it to you,” said Mr. Scherr. “I didn’t confirm it with any contract, handshake, or other means of kinyan, act of acquisition.”
“But what about upholding your word,” said Shlomo. “You’re known from your business dealings to be a man of your word. Once you’ve said something – you’ve said it!”
“I think this is a little different,” said Mr. Scherr. “This is not a mutual business agreement; it’s all from the good of my heart. It was nice of me to offer you anything in the first place.”
“What’s the difference?” asked Dan. “A word is a word whether it’s a gift or a business deal.”
“It feels different to me,” said Mr. Scherr.
“I heard that you started attending a Business Halacha shiur with Rabbi Dayan,” said Shlomo. “I wonder what he would have to say about this!”
“I wonder also,” said Mr. Scherr. “I’ve got a great idea! Why don’t you join me this week and we can ask him?”
Shlomo and Dan both agreed to attend the shiur.
After the shiur the three went over to Rabbi Dayan. Mr. Scherr asked: “Am I required to uphold my commitment to give each nephew ten grand?”
“You are required to give Dan the full ten thousand,” replied Rabbi Dayan, “but can retract from giving Shlomo if you feel the need.”
“That doesn’t seem fair,” objected Shlomo. “Why is that?”
“For any transaction to be legally binding, it is necessary that there be an appropriate kinyan; verbal agreements alone are, in general, not legally enforceable,” explained Rabbi Dayan. “However, a person is expected to uphold even his verbal commitments. If he does not do so, he is called ‘untrustworty’ – mechusar amana [C.M. 204:7]. In certain situations there is even a formal reproach imposed upon who retracts, ‘mi shepara.’ ” (C.M. 204:1, 4)
“Does this apply equally to gifts?” asked Mr. Scherr.
“In regard to gifts, since they are one-sided, there is a difference between a small gift and a large gift,” answered Rabbi Dayan. “When a person commits to a small gift, the recipient fully expects that the donor will provide the gift. Therefore, if he retracts, the donor is called, ‘untrustworthy.’ However, if the person committed to a large gift, the recipient remains with an element of doubt whether the donor will, in fact, carry through. Therefore, the donor is not considered ‘untrustworthy’ if he retracts [C.M. 204:8; 249:1]. It goes without saying, though, that a person should not speak deceitfully and say something he is not sincere about when he says it.” (Pischei Choshen, Kinyanim 15:4[4])
