Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities
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Readers Sound Off…
A male reader has some advice for the divorced woman caught in a prolonged relationship with a married man (as related by A frustrated friend in Chronicles of 2-10-12).
Dear Rachel,
Mine is a male perspective on the cheating husband who is dating that good-looking woman. I too (and I am not proud of it) cheated on my wife with a co-worker. And let me tell you from the get-go that if this man were serious about this woman, she wouldn’t still be waiting for his move some three years later.
Rachel, your answer was 100% right on target! I fell in love with my co-worker, and it took six months for me to give my wife both a legal divorce and a “get.” Today I am a happily married man!
My wife cried at first. She was shocked and didn’t want to accept it, but it is a man’s world out there, and we do have the power to get on with our lives if need be.
Men are cold and callous. I lost contact with my children, but I started fresh. It’s now been seven years and I have a new family. This woman who the letter talks about is in her own world. She can’t see past his lies. Does he spend holidays with her? Does he spend his Saturdays with her? Does he go out with her in public, to restaurants, weddings or friends’ houses?
Does he introduce her to his friends? Has she ever even visited his supposed humble abode? If he makes all kinds of excuses or says he can’t because he is a married man, then I think it’s high time for her to wake up. He is just playing her and she is fulfilling his needs (whether physical or emotional).
Lady, he is a married man, like it or not! Do not settle for some crumbs that he throws your way. If he would really be serious about you he would indicate it by your having a MRS. next to his name.
Three years is long enough! Don’t be his fool any longer! When will the truth finally dawn on you, when you’ll be 30 years down the road instead of 3?
Been there and done the right thing
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A university professor takes a stand on the topic of a girl’s (and boy’s) high school education (see Chronicles of 12-23-2011; 1-13-12; 2-17-12; 3-2-12).
Dear Rachel,
I have read several of the letters commenting on Bais Yaakov’s high school education and would like to address the issue of simple cooking and sewing.
In my opinion, every young person – both boys and girls – should be taught the basics of cooking and sewing. These are life skills and one never knows when one may have to rely on them.
I know of a young woman who unfortunately passed away a few years ago leaving two young daughters. Her husband had absolutely no experience cooking and hence had no idea how to prepare meals for his daughters. Neighbors and relatives helped out for a while, but in the long run this was not feasible. I am sure he regretted that he had no experience in the kitchen.
When it comes to sewing, we all know that buttons fall off and that seams rip. Should not every young person, male and female, be taught to make these simple repairs?
According to at least one of the letters published, cooking and sewing are not always taught in the home. If so, it is most important that they be taught in school, in both Bais Yaakov and yeshiva. Young people need to be equipped with these basic survival skills.
Professor Yitzchok Levine
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How to combat the danger that lurks in our midst: A reader takes a hard line approach to dealing with child molesters and predators.
Dear Rachel,
We just celebrated Purim, Pesach is almost upon us, and Shavuos will be here before we know it — all holidays observed joyfully with family togetherness.
For some of us, however, these special days are shrouded by a dark cloud that hangs over us, one of family dysfunction, hostility, and most of all anger and hurt.
While to the world we appear to be the model Jewish Family, we are not. As others celebrated Purim with children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, aunts, uncles and cousins, for us it was a day of shame, loneliness and detachment.
You see my family is dealing with an issue that most of you only read about in books, newspapers, and on the Internet. The issue is molestation and endangerment of children.
We, as a community, need to grow up and deal with this all-encompassing crucial matter, because innocent young boys and girls do not invent graphic sexual accounts about close family relatives.
I am no expert, nor do I aspire to be one; what I want is to raise my children with the awareness of the dangers that lurk among people, in families, and mostly within our community. And I believe the following to be essential requirements for all caring, responsible adults and parents:
· We must stand up for the protection of children, regardless of the outcome. · We must stand against molesters and their destructive behaviors. · We must call out those people who harbor these molesters. · We must go a step further and publicly reprimand and warn the public of, these predators. · Yes, molesters in our communities may fall under the category of husbands, fathers, sons, brothers, uncles, etc. This does not give us the right to look the other way. · These predators must be removed from our communities and we must be there for their families who did nothing wrong – only the molester did. · We must listen to our children. · We must be there for our children. · We must talk to our children. · We must notify the local police and get the vile offender off the street.
I know there are those who will voice strong opposition to this, and others who will take this opportunity to ridicule our community. My intention is to start an honest discussion so that we as a community can deal with this, instead of just sweeping it under the rug. Most of all, I want to protect my children as well as all children.
Keeping Our Children Safe
tell a friendAbout the Author: We encourage women and men of all ages to send in their personal stories via email to rachel@jewishpress.com or by mail to Rachel/Chronicles, c/o The Jewish Press, 4915 16th Ave., Brooklyn, N.Y. 11204. If you wish to make a contribution and help agunot, your tax-deductible donation should be sent to The Jewish Press Foundation. Please make sure to specify that it is to help agunot, as the foundation supports many worthwhile causes.
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