Dr. Yael, you saved my life! After the nose job the phone did not stop ringing; after all, I dressed very well, and came from a well to do home with a good reputation.
My mother, after checking out and rejecting many shidduch suggestions, realized that you were right to suggest that I get a nose job. She chastised herself for not doing this for me when I was younger. And my rav said that this was the right thing for me to do, and even his rav – a gadol hador – paskened that your advice was sound.
My husband has a great nose, but two of my daughters were born with my original nose. So, after consulting with da’as Torah, they both had plastic surgery when they turned 16. Now they will never have to experience years of rejection in shidduchim, and their self-esteem will be so much better than mine since, deep down, I still do not feel as beautiful as people say I am.
Here’s my advice to others: if you are single and overweight, you must lose weight and dress as nicely as possible. And all the while, work on your spiritual and psychological issues.
This advice is meant for men and women alike, although I think a bad nose in a man is not as important as in a woman. This is so as long as he is slim, well dressed, clean, and works on all the important issues in his frum life.
Thank you again for all of your help. May Hashem give you the koach to continue all of your amazing work. Hatzlachah!
A truly indebted Old Client
Dear Truly Indebted Old Client:
Thank you for your amazing letter, which truly touched my heart. And to make you feel better, I have helped many now happily married girls get nose jobs with the consent of their rabbanim. May you have much hatzlachah!Dr. Yael Respler
About the Author: Dr. Yael Respler is a psychotherapist in private practice who provides marital, dating and family counseling. Dr. Respler also deals with problems relating to marital intimacy. Letters may be emailed to firstname.lastname@example.org. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Orit Respler-Herman, a child psychologist, co-authors this column and is now in private practice providing complete pychological evaluations as well as child and adolescent therapy. She can be reached at 917-679-1612. Previous columns can be viewed at www.jewishpress.com and archives of Dr. Respler’s radio shows can be found at www.dryaelrespler.com.
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