A unique and prestigious residential project in now being built in Mekor Haim Street in Jerusalem.
Since the news broke more than a week ago about the arrest by the FBI of a frum, heimishe man in my hometown of Monsey for allegedly doing unspeakable things repeatedly to a girl/young woman closely related to him over a period of many years and spanning three countries, people have been asking me the same question again and again – “Could this possibly be true?”
To all worried parents and community members asking this question, my unequivocal answer is “yes.”
I do not know any specifics about this particularly ghoulish tale other than what I read in the secular press and by reviewing a hair-raising copy of the federal indictment (which is available online). Thus I cannot comment on the veracity of the charges. Additionally, the accused individual has not yet had his day in court. But I have heard far more than one or two stories like this one in the past from credible people. (For the record, I always ask the victims to go straight to the police and report the abusers.)
So even if this story is not true – and it is beyond naïve to think that federal agents would convene a grand jury and make an arrest like this merely on the say-so of a vindictive family member without substantive forensic proof – the terribly sad fact is that it most certainly could be true.
It is exactly these types of horrible stories that I was referring to in the opening lines of my column in this space a month ago, titled “L’ma’an Hashem: What Will It Take?” Here are the first two sentences of that column: “It is difficult to describe the sickening, gut-wrenching sensation I experience when I get phone calls from parents whose children were abused or from adults who have carried the horrible scars of childhood abuse for decades, often shredding their relationships and ruining their lives. And I am sad to report that those calls are getting more frequent as time goes on.”
If your children are married and out of your home, feel free to join those who blame these stories on “anti-Semitic, secular newspapers,” and “self-hating Jews who love to bash haredim.” Or you can join those who would rather stay clueless and say things like, “Wow, did you hear that story? Please pass the salt.” You can also trust the people who tell you not to worry about this since there are only an infinitesimal number of frum pedophiles.
But if you are a parent still entrusted with the care of your children, please read the non-airbrushed story in the secular newspapers and be frightened. Very, very frightened!
I suggest that you develop a mental image of a deranged frum adult walking around your neighborhood with pruning shears viciously cutting off the index fingers of any children that he can get his hands on. Then imagine seeing hundreds of frum kids walking around with bloody bandages around their hands – while the unhinged fellow with the shears calmly strolls around unimpeded. Are you sufficiently terrified now? Well, that is a tamed-down version of how I see things as far as the abuse/molestation issue is concerned. Because these evil monsters that molest our innocent children and the soulless, immoral people who cover for them are cutting out the very souls of the poor kids whose lives they ruin.
This incident proves what I have written about numerous times in the past – that this is not only a school issue but also a communal one. It is also one that can be dramatically improved with awareness and Torah-appropriate education of parents and children. My friends, all the finger- pointing and blame games won’t save the life of a single child. So let’s please not focus our energies right now on discussing who is responsible for this mess, as it will distract us from what we need to do in order to protect the children that Hashem entrusted to our care.
I am beyond heartbroken that not enough people in our community have the courage to discuss this life-threatening, colossal threat to our children, and that we keep allowing ourselves to get distracted by the meaningless and often silly non-issues raised by self-appointed “askanim.” Instead, we must concentrate on the safety of our children. I am also stunned that our communal anger is perpetually deflected from the predators and those who cover for them, and directed at those who courageously try to improve things.
All I can do is beg parents b’chol lashon shel bakasha to take this issue seriously and start speaking to their children about privacy and personal safety issues. L’ma’an Hashem, parents, please start protecting each and every child of yours as if his or her very life depends on it.
Because it does!
Rabbi Yakov Horowitz is the founder and dean of Yeshiva Darchei Noam of Monsey, and the founder and director of Project Y.E.S.
On Sunday, October 26, Project Y.E.S. is running its first major fundraising event – a concert in The Jazz at New York City’s Lincoln Center. The concert will feature Avraham Fried and Chazzan Yitzchak Meir Helfgot. Please visit www.rabbihorowitz.com, e-mail email@example.com or call 718-758-3131 x 106 for more information about the concert, to become a sponsor, and to purchase tickets.
About the Author: Rabbi Yakov Horowitz is founder and dean of Yeshiva Darchei Noam and founder and director of Agudath Israel's Project Y.E.S.
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The plan’s goal is to provide supportive housing to 200 individuals with disabilities by the year 2020.
Despite being one of the fastest-growing Jewish communities in the U.S. – the estimated Jewish population is 70-80,000 – Las Vegas has long been overlooked by much of the Torah world.
She was followed by the shadows of the Six Million, by the ever so subtle awareness of their vanished presence.
Pesach is so liberating (if you excuse the expression). It’s the only time I can eat anywhere in the house, guilt free! Matzah in bed!
Now all the pain, fear and struggle were over and they were home. Yuli was safe and free, a hero returned to his land and people.
While it would seem from his question that he is being chuzpadik and dismissive, I wonder if its possible, if just maybe, he is a struggling, confused neshama who actually wants to come back to the fold.
I agree with the letter writer that a shadchan should respectfully and graciously accept a negative response to a shidduch offer.
Alternative assessments are an extremely important part of understanding what students know beyond the scope of tests and quizzes.
Your husband seems to have experienced what we have described as the Ambivalent Attachment.
The goal of the crusade is to demonize and hurt Israel.
The JUMP program at Hebrew Academy was generously sponsored by Evelyn and Dr. Shmuel Katz.
Those of us familiar with the do’s and don’ts of accepted practice in the mental health profession saw similar blaring warning lights in our minds, as should have occurred when the facts were made public regarding the accusations against Nehemia Weberman. This case may very well be our community’s most important abuse trial during our lifetimes. It is imperative that we have a huge turnout in support of the victim, a courageous young lady who, may she be gezunt andge’bentched, is determined to see this through to the end so others won’t suffer like she did.
These lines are written in loving memory of our dear father, Reb Shlomo Zev ben Reb Baruch Yehudah Nutovic, a”h, whose first yahrzeit is 7 Menachem Av. May the positive lessons learned from this essay be a zechus for his neshamah.
All responsible leaders in our community have roundly condemned the recent violence in Beit Shemesh and Meah Shearim.
A surefire way to gauge the generation in which a person was raised is to have him or her fill in the following sentence: Where were you when ?”
Baby Boomers would ask, “When President Kennedy was shot?” Thirtysomethings would respond, “When the space shuttle exploded?” Today’s teenagers would reply, “On 9/11?”
One week ago on my website I announced my intention to attend the next court appearance of a man who was arrested last year and is now standing trial on 10 felony charges of child abuse.
Dear Rabbi Horowitz:
We were taken aback when our 18-year-old son just called us from Eretz Yisrael (we live in Europe) and told us that he was coming home and wants to immediately go to work. He said that he is wasting his time in yeshiva, and just can’t take it anymore. He said that he will “run away from home” if we don’t allow him to go to work.
Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/parenting-our-children/could-this-possibly-be-true-time-to-get-frightened/2008/10/29/
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