web analytics
May 25, 2015 / 7 Sivan, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


A New Al Chayt

Al-Chayt-010612

Before my son entered shidduchim, I used to hear other people speak about the questions typically posed to “references,” and I absolutely refused to believe that these were true. I was sure that everyone was trading in gross exaggerations. But now that he’s in the parsha, my friends and acquaintances who are often called to vouch for my son (the intelligence gathering is unrivaled by the CIA, Mossad and FBI combined) tell me that my cavalier use of plastic tablecloths has dealt my precious jewel of a son a blow of serious proportions.

How can I expiate such an unforgivable sin, Hashem? This is what I’ve resolved: This year bli neder, I am going to enroll in a food decorating class so I can learn how to transform radishes into roses, study online with Martha Stewart so I can figure out the finer differences between stacking and scraping (which still has me scratching my head in confusion), hire a cleaning lady to wash my china, crystal and silver (newly retrieved from the china closet), and purchase a tablecloth store so I will be able to access an ongoing stream of brand-new tablecloths each and every week, and never need to use plastic again.

In the merit of all these zechusim, may I please see favor in your eyes Hashem (and in the eyes of all the shadchanim and the myriad mothers who inquire about my housekeeping habits…. oops, I mean my son) and may he be blessed to find his richtige zivug this year – somebody who has her priorities on straight and understands what really counts in life.

PS Unfortunately, I can’t use my real name, because…. it isn’t good for shidduchim!

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “A New Al Chayt”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Sha'ar Shechem / Damascus Gate. The Old City of Jerusalem.
Arab Stabs 2 Jewish Teens in Old City Terror Attack on Shavuot
Latest Sections Stories
Schonfeld-logo1

To what extent is your child displaying defiance?

Respler-052215

This therapist kept focusing on how “I could do better,” never on how we could make the marriage work.

Mistrust that has lingered after the fiasco in Ferguson, Missouri, has edged the issue forward.

“The observance of a kosher diet is a key tenet of Judaism, and one which no state has the right to deny,” said Nathan Diament, executive director for public policy of the Orthodox Union.

Two weeks of intense learning in the classroom about Israel culminated with Yom Ha’Atzmaut. Students attended sessions with their teachers and learned about history, culture, military power, advocacy, slang, cooking, and more.

The nations of the world left the vessel to sit rotting in the water during one of the coldest winters in decades and with its starving and freezing passengers abandoned.

Rabbi Yisroel Edelman, the synagogue’s spiritual leader, declared, “The Young Israel of Deerfield Beach is looking forward to our partnership with the OU. The impact the OU has brought to Jewish communities throughout the country through its outreach and educational resources is enormous and we anticipate the same for our community in Deerfield Beach as well.”

Our goal here is to offer you recipes that you can make on Yom Tov with ingredients you might just have in the house. Enjoy and chag sameach!

Gardening can be a healthy, wholesome activity for the whole family.

Unfortunately, the probability is that he will not see a reason to change as he has been acting this way for a long time and clearly has some issues with respecting women.

All of these small changes work their way into the framework of the elephant and the rider because they are helping the elephant move forward.

More Articles from Nechama Baron
Al-Chayt-010612

Master of the Universe, I am filled with remorse and compunction. My head is bowed in shame, my hands tremble, and my heart overflows with trepidation as I approach you with my abject confession of guilt.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/potpourri/a-new-al-chayt/2012/01/05/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: