web analytics
October 20, 2014 / 26 Tishri, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
Meir Panim with Soldiers 5774 Roundup: Year of Relief and Service for Israel’s Needy

Meir Panim implements programs that serve Israel’s neediest populations with respect and dignity. Meir Panim also coordinated care packages for families in the South during the Gaza War.



Home » Sections » Books »

Title: Guide For The Romantically Perplexed

Title: Guide For The Romantically Perplexed
Author: Lisa Aiken, Ph.D.
Publisher: Devorah Publishing.
Jerusalem. 424 pages

You probably know or perhaps are a single Jewish adult who needs this book, and here it is. Popular author Lisa Aiken examines the range of issues plaguing the aging Jewish singles community and she presents the solutions to them. Her “Guide for the Romantically Perplexed” is an easily read, easily understood manual about dating, marriage and remarriage that’s full of
psychologically sound and Torah-true advice.

Aiken opens her book with documented evidence that many spouses lack the necessary skills and attitudes for contributing to a healthy marriage. Her book is designed to help Jewish singles (and spouses) to avoid preventable problems. Simple, profound explanations regarding the fundamental differences in the way men and women perceive the world and the varying
contexts of male/female emotions are among the strengths of the publication.

A list for identifying desirable character traits that will enhance married life and undesirable character traits that “are likely to cause unbridgeable problems” is part of this new manual for creating and sustaining a stable, happy marriage. It could prove invaluable to a conscientious Jew seeking a suitable marriage partner.

Case histories abound (with names changed in order to protect the privacy of the individuals involved), letting readers vicariously see how Aiken addresses their hang-ups or mistaken concepts. When Aiken examines the fundamental drives for companionship that lead to marriage, she demonstrates the foibles of romantic (i.e., unrealistic) fantasies with a mock classified ad. “Multimillionaire, dives Jag, ffb, 6’2″, dark, muscular, and extremely handsome, mid-30′s and semi-retired, seeks heimishe knockout with a Raquel Welch look…” illustrates how and why animal magnetism isn’t the stuff of happy, enduring relationships.

Advancing on to the means and methods for preparing oneself for marriage, Aiken teaches the importance of “Taking Stock of Ourselves” and the concept that marriage is a relationship of mutual effort and satisfaction rather than the degrading use of someone for egotistical pleasure. Passages that explore intimacy, commitment and ethics focus on trust. The line “Contrary to
popular belief, the largest sex gland in the body is the brain,” makes buying the book worthwhile all on its own. The crowds of wistful singles at public (and private) gatherings can go straight to this page and stop mourning their loss of direction in the marriage market.

Aiken makes it clear that “rejecting the secular norms that almost mandate” premature intimacy is part of the path to choosing the right person to be one’s spouse. As to common concerns that a fiancé might change over time, Aiken assures the reader that “No decisions about marriage come with a 100 percent guarantee that everything will work out as you hope. Throughout life, we make decisions based on the best information that we have,” and that a competent counselor can address lingering issues.

The only drawback to the book is its lack of advice on how to help singles over 40, who suffer a paucity of advocates willing to help them to find a suitable spouse. Divorce, custody, fixing troubled marriages, and remarriage issues, however, are all covered in this 424-page hardcover book. And lest the buyer wonder if Aiken views marriage as all work and no fun, know that she also writes about “lightening up,” and “replenishing good feelings.”

A former chief psychologist for Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City, Aiken has written on a vast range of human issues and remains one of the most popular of Jewish authors. A Devora Publishing edition (Jerusalem, Israel), the “Guide for the Romantically Perplexed” is a must-have for communal and private libraries.

About the Author: Yocheved Golani is the author of highly acclaimed "It's MY Crisis! And I'll Cry If I Need To: EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge" (http://booklocker.com/books/3067.html). It addresses and solves many needs of disabled, ill and recovering readers.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Title: Guide For The Romantically Perplexed”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Ismail Haniyeh, highest ranking Hamas member in Gaza, pictured Nov. 25, 2012.
Hamas Leader’s Daughter Treated in Israeli Hospital; #BDSFail
Latest Sections Stories

Sadly, there are mothers who, due to severe depression are unable or unwilling to prepare nourishing food for their children.

Michal had never been away from home. And now, she was going so far away, for so long – an entire year!

Though if you do have a schach mat, you’ll realize that it cannot actually support the weight of the water.

Social disabilities occur at many levels, but experts identify three different areas of learning and behavior that are most common for children who struggle to create lasting social connections.

Sukkot is an eternal time of joy, and if we are worthy, of plenty.

Two of our brothers, Jonathan Pollard and Alan Gross, sit in the pit of captivity. We have a mandate to see that they are freed.

Chabad of South Broward has 15 Chabad Houses in ten cities.

Victor Center works in partnership with healthcare professionals, clergy, and the community to sponsor education programs and college campus out reach.

So just in case you’re stuck in the house this Chol HaMoed – because there’s a new baby or because someone has a cold – not because of anything worse, here are six ideas for family fun at home.

We are told that someone who says that God’s mercy extends to a bird’s nest should be silenced.

Our harps have 22 strings. This gives musicians a wide musical range and yet stays within Biblical parameters.

More Articles from Yocheved Golani
Esther Grinberg

Tehilim 71:9 reads “Do not cast me off in the time of old age; Do not forsake me when my strength fails.” The message is apropos to the endeavor – wonder and spirituality ruled as respect for aging heroes of the Shoah increased among Leo Baeck students.

book-Kosher-Grapevine

Title: The Kosher Grapevine: Exploring the World of Wine
Author: Irving Langer
Publisher: Gefen

Breathe deeply. You’ll need maximum physical and spiritual power to absorb the uplifting lessons in this book. Page 249 explains why some Jews are praised as “fish on dry land,” a phrase that describes Moshe Rabeinu. Am Yisrael began to appreciate his depth of character at kriat Yam Suf, realizing that “he lived in the revealed world as though he were in the concealed world.”

Author Irving Langer provides his own look at wine-making as well as the nature of the storage barrels used to age wines for taste perfection. He intersperses the book with Jewish historical facts and figures, a few jokes and photographs, and advice on how to pair wines with specific foods.

Unlike formulaic biographies from popular publishing houses in the Orthodox Jewish world, Beyond Politics is not predictable. The vignettes of individual men and women who trekked through Ethiopia and Sudan, flew in from Austria, India, and Algeria, or were born on Israeli soil are gritty, adventurous, and heartwarming.

Title: The Koren Ethiopian Haggada Journey to Freedom: Celebrating Ethiopian Jewish History, Traditions & Customs
Editor: Rabbi Menachem Waldman
Publisher: Koren Publishing

Most of the No-Potato Passover recipes are as casual as the title’s spelling: some include only six ingredients and limited prep time – half to one full hour. They’re good for heart health and waistlines, too.

The Hebrew-English haggada provides a wealth of photographic evidence of the lives led by Ethiopian Jews. The pottery, the unembellished homes, school, and synagogues, the gaunt Jews in modest clothing and head coverings portray dedication to Torah values despite harsh political and topographical conditions.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/title-guide-for-the-romantically-perplexed/2003/09/19/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: