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A Shidduch Solution
‘Known In A Town For 30 Days…’
(Bava Basra 167b)

 

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The Mishnah (167a) states that one may not write or sign a get on behalf of a man unless he is known to be the husband named in the get. The Rashbam (s.v. “sheyehei…”) explains that the man could in theory be writing a get for another man’s wife. This woman would then claim she is divorced and collect her kesubah money even though her husband never wrote or commissioned a get at all!

Thus, an individual who is unfamiliar to the local populace (e.g., he just moved) must produce a witness who can attest to his identity (the Rosh notes even a relative is sufficient) if he wishes to divorce his wife.

Visitor vs. Resident

R. Huna b. Chinana qualifies this rule, stating that a person who established residence in a particular locality for 30 days or more under a certain name is assumed to be that person since he would be wary of using a false name for a month or more in any one place lest his ruse be discovered.

Unintended Consequences

It is well known that Rabbi Yehuda HeChasid left a will cautioning his children not to enter a marriage where the prospective mother-in-law or father-in-law bears the same name as either the bride or the groom. There are many reasons offered for this directive, among them that in earlier times extended families all lived in one household in close quarters and unintended harsh transgressions could result if two people shared the same name. Others suggest that there are kabbalistic reasons behind the directive.

Descendants Only

Pischei Teshuva (Even Ha’ezer 120:3) notes that not all communities abide by Rabbi Yehuda HeChasid’s will as they maintain that his will was only intended for his descendants. Some authorities argue that a problem only arises if the identical names go back three generations.

 
Citing Our Gemara

The Chasam Sofer (Responsa Yoreh De’ah 15) was once asked about a groom who had the same name as his prospective father-in-law. He advised the groom to add another name to his own.

Responsa Yeshuas Malko (cited by Pischei Teshuva, Even Ha’ezer 2:7), in light of our Gemara, argues that the groom should use his new name publicly for at least 30 days prior to his engagement (i.e., he should be called up to the Torah by that new name). By doing do, he establishes his new identity to the degree that the new name is now his real one.

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Rabbi Yaakov Klass is Rav of K’hal Bnei Matisyahu in Flatbush; Torah Editor of The Jewish Press; and Presidium Chairman, Rabbinical Alliance of America/Igud HaRabbonim.