The following is a Purim spoof.
According to a recent news release by the Palestine Ministry of Truth, the “perfidious Jews” have not only misappropriated falafel from Palestinian culture but have also stolen the Palestinian holiday of Quadas Kabir, which they call “Purim.”
Palestinians have long maintained that the attempt by Jews to claim the native Palestinian cuisine as their own is an affront to the memory of their holy ancestors and a cultural misappropriation that mirrors other forms of violence by the “Zionist Entity.”
When the Lebanese Industrialists’ Association attempted to claim “protected designated origin” status for falafel, the terrorist Zionist Entity blocked them. The reason is obvious; as Najwa al-Qattan, a Palestinian professor of Middle Eastern history wrote, “’If you were given a choice between falafel and gefilte fish, which would you choose?”
In any event, as Palestinian scholar Bogen Ogdenit ibn Arick Iolianus explains in the Ministry of Truth release, Achashverosh was a Jew king of the Persian empire who – consistent with the eternal Jewish plot to take over the entire world through any and all means – already controlled no less than 127 different nations. As even the Jews admit, Achashverosh modeled his extravagant throne after another Jew king – Solomon – and his Jew-spawn succeeded him to the throne.
The story of Quadas Kabir begins with a Jewish party – typically vulgar and obscene – in 366 B.C.E. When the Jew king summoned his Jew wife, Vashti, to dance before all his fellow Jews, she dared exhibit some modicum of modesty by refusing, so the Jews murdered her in cold blood. (The fact that Vashti was Jewish may readily be seen from the fact that “Vashti” remains a very popular name for Jewish girls in the Zionist Entity.)
Meanwhile, a Palestinian man named Mariuk (in their later bastardization of the story, the warlike Jews changed his name to “Mordechai,” which means “ruthless warrior”) discovered that two treacherous Jews named Alaibn Alkabir and Seresh plotted to kill the Jew king in their lust for money and power.
The ever-loyal Mariuk reported the plot to the king, who promptly killed the two traitors. However, consistent with Jewish practice to this day – who as a race are wholly incapable of gratitude – Achashverosh snubbed Mariuk and failed to bestow honor upon him because he considered him a “despicable Palestinian.”
And then came the infamous international beauty contest. Manifesting the traditional Jewish disrespect for the sanctity of women, the Jew king sought a replacement for Queen Vashti by forcing every woman in the kingdom to parade immodestly before him. Through Allah’s miracle, the king chose Esther, a devout Palestinian Muslim married to Mariuk.
Of course, Achashverosh believed Esther was Jewish because, during her mandatory 12 months of preparation, she imaginatively fashioned the remnants of a demon’s tail and used the name “Hadassah,” a common Jew name.
Even the Jew “holy books” admit that “Esther” is not a Jewish name, but rather a Persian-Palestinian name. Later, when the Jews fraudulently edited the Book of Esther to turn Quadas Kabir into a Jewish holiday, they omitted all mention of Allah, may he be exalted, from the story. Even the treacherous Jews were so embarrassed by this omission that they didn’t dare substitute the name of their own pseudo-deity; instead, they made the course of events in the story seem like mere coincidence.
Meanwhile, Achashverosh’s most trusted advisor, the Jew Haman, proved second to none in his lust for power and limitless hatred for Palestinians. He had particular hatred for Mariuk, who refused to bow down to Haman and publicly proclaimed that he would bow down only to Allah, the munificent benefactor of all.
Much like the leadership of the Zionist Entity today, Haman came up with a dastardly plan to destroy not only Mariuk, but also every living Palestinian and, as a duplicitous Jew, he knew exactly how to do it; he spoke the language of the Jews by appealing to the Jew-king’s lust for lucre and mammon.
After the Jew Haman portrayed the peaceful and loyal Palestinian people as “different” and therefore an enemy of the state, he promised Achashverosh no less than 10,000 silver talents in exchange for the king issuing a royal decree authorizing Haman to kill all the Palestinians. With the dream of unheard-of riches floating in his evil Jew-devil eyes, the king said, “Where do I sign?”
Much as they do today in fabricating ludicrous myths regarding not only the existence of a so-called “Holy Temple” but also appropriating the holy Haram-al-Sharif as the site of their alleged temple, the Jews have sought to pervert history by claiming that Haman was a Persian Agagite.
In fact, the Jews can’t seem to keep their own story straight because even their own sources, including their vile “Talmud” – which perpetuates hatred for non-Jews on every page – makes clear that Haman was Jewish (see Megillah 15a-15b). The indisputable fact that Haman was a Jew is confirmed by the Jewish prophet and sage, the Chasam Sofer, who writes that Haman was an “eved Canaani” (Palestinian slave – throughout their miserable history, the Jews enslaved the Palestinian people) and was therefore a Jew.
Typical of all Palestinian women, who are dignified and revered by their husbands, Esther was keenly dedicated to both the Palestinian people and her Muslim faith and, through her innate Palestinian intelligence and ingenuity, she devised a perfectly-timed plan to advise Achashverosh that Haman planned to kill her.
Ordinary justice at the time would dictate that Achashverosh could murder Haman and, arguably, his 10 sons, but that was not sufficient for the furious Jew king, who perpetrated genocide on his own innocent Persian people, killing some 75,000 in cold blood. However, thanks to Allah, may his name be eternally blessed, the Palestinian people were spared from the king’s anger.
When Achashverosh learned the role that the ever-loyal Mariuk played in the tale, having saved both his life and that of his beloved queen, he elevated Mariuk to take Haman’s place as second-to-the-king. As a result, Quadas Kabir became a great Palestinian celebration for the ages, marked by exchanges of gifts and food and the giving of alms to the poor.
It is well-recognized in academic circles that almost no recorded history exists from this period of Persian history because the Jews destroyed it all to cover up their genocide and other crimes against the Palestinian people. However, archaeologists and other researchers have begun to dig up some fascinating relics from this period, including an absolutely stunning recently-unearthed document from Achashverosh’s court, which I exhibit here. Translation follows:
Date: Adar 3401
From: I, the King
To: Haman ben Hamdassah Hayehudi
Re: Destruction of Palestinians
Thank you for your payment of 10,000 silver talents.
As per our agreement, I have signed a Royal Proclamation authorizing you to murder all the Palestinians, who are enemies of the state.
As you know, once I have affixed my royal seal, this order may not be countermanded.
So how did the Jews completely transform the Quadas Kabir story and for what purpose? Who was the nefarious Jew who decided to appropriate glorious Palestinian history?
Answer: Theodor Herzl, who began the so-called “modern Zionist movement” to facilitate the Jewish plan to murder Palestinians and displace them from their land, as explained in detail by The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, one of the Jews’ holiest Talmudic texts. Herzl, who had the unenviable task of creating Jewish history out of thin air, decided to begin by usurping Palestinian holidays, beginning with Quadas Kabir. (It is worthy of note that even the history-revising Jews dared not claim that their “Purim” holiday is in their Torah.)
Exhibited here is an illuminating historic correspondence handwritten by Herzl from Aussee, Villa Fuchs, dated July 29, 1896 – precisely when his fraudulent “masterwork,” Der Judenstaat (The Jewish State) was published – presented by the Palestinian Ministry of Truth in its release:
I shall be in Vienna on August 3rd or 4th. You will remember that I have made an appointment for you to come see me in early August…. In the meantime, be prepared to carry on with perpetrating our fraud upon the entire world by claiming Palestinian holidays as our own. Most the Jewish people are ignorant fools who will readily swallow whatever nonsense we feed them.
Many contemporary world leaders have come to accept the true Palestinian Quadas Kabir story, including Mr. Bill and President Hillary Clinton. Shown in this famous photograph is the president, her First Man, and future-president Chelsea Clinton posing with Chairman Arafat, all dressed up as Palestinian citizens for the Quadas Kabir celebration. The caption underneath reads: “Hillary did once claim to be Jewish, but only because of threats from AIPAC and the Jew-controlled Congress. She now acknowledges that Quadas Kabir is a great Palestinian festival.”
Finally, Palestinians joyfully celebrate Quadas Kabir by dressing up in silly clothes and portraying various characters. Shown here is the great Palestinian actor Tom Cruise dressed as Tevye the Milkman, a noted character of Jew-literature who runs around constantly whining about G-d not making him rich enough.