Last week, we noted that prayer is our national “profession,” as Rashi puts it. We will now embark on a crash course on 18 steps necessary to become a professional davener.
1) Learn how to pray for others. The Gemara teaches, “Hamispalel b’ad chaveiro v’hu tzarich l’oso davar, hu ne’eneh techila – If someone prays on behalf of someone else and needs the same thing, Hashem will answer him first.” Hashem pays special attention to unselfish prayer.
So when we pray for health, wealth, shidduchim, or nachas, we shouldn’t just pray for ourselves. We should have our relatives, friends, and neighbors in mind, too, as per the plural form of our tefillos: “Selach lanu – Forgive us,” “Refa’einu – Keep us healthy,” “Shema koleinu – Listen to our voices,” etc.
One can practice with small steps. Train yourself never to say a prayer without your spouse in mind. Always make sure to include your parents in your prayers. After acquiring these good habits, embrace all the people davening with you in shul. After that, broaden your vision to everyone in your community, then set your sights on Eretz Yisrael. Eventually, you will be able to train yourself to have a global vision and pray for all of Klal Yisrael.
When you’re davening in shul and fervently say, “Shema koleinu, Hashem Elokeinu – Listen to our voices, Hashem, our G-d,” think to yourself that everyone in shul is asking for something different. One person has a herniated disc, another has trouble getting along with a difficult spouse, and yet another can’t afford to pay tuition. Practice praying for them all; ask Hashem to honor the requests of everyone in shul. Doing so yields a bonus: Hashem will answer you first.
2) Learn to pray in anticipation. When Iyov experienced terrible suffering, his loyal friends asked him, “Hayaaroch shu’acha shelo v’tzar – Did you arrange your prayers before your troubles started?” (Iyov 36:19).
David Hamelech says, “Al zos yispalel kol chasid eilecha l’eis metzo – For this every pious person should pray to You towards the time of finding” (Tehillim 32:6). The Gemara (Berachos 8a) explains that this pasuk is instructing us to pray for things in advance.
The Gemara goes on to say that there are over 900 ways to die, and we should pray in advance that when our time comes we die an easy death. Then the Gemara goes a step further: We should pray “ad zibula batraisa shalma – that the last clod of earth on our grave should be peaceful.” This is a most extreme example of anticipatory prayer: praying that there shouldn’t be a storm on the day of our funeral.
The Gemara also advises us in Meseches Shabbos: “L’olam yivakeish adam shelo yecheleh – A person should always pray not to become sick.”
Most people only seriously pray when they have a problem, but the smart thing to do is to pray before you have a problem. We say in Ashrei, “Karov Hashem l’chol kor’av, l’chol asher yikr’uhu be’emes – Hashem is close to all those who call to Him, to all those who call in truth.” Rav Avigdor Miller, zt”l, would elaborate that it is best to pray in truth and not when you are in need.
We need to train ourselves to pray in “Sim Shalom” that no marital problems crop up, and in “Atah Chonein” that we shouldn’t start forgetting things or begin feeling confused, chas v’shalom.
In the merit of learning how to pray properly, may Hashem bless us with long life, good health, and everything wonderful.