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Dear Dr. Yael:

I am a regular middle of the road Orthodox Jew. No major problems, baruch Hashem. I have a great wife and wonderful children, some of whom are married happily, some still home.


So, why am I writing? Not about a problem, but rather about how I see our current situation. We have the most pro-Israel president today in the White House, along with his family, which includes a Jewish daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren. He also pardoned Mr. Rubashkin and kept his promise to move the American Embassy to Jerusalem. If that is not a true sign that we live in Moshaich’s times, what is?

So Dr. Respler, if we really are living in the times of Moshiach, how can it possibly be that we don’t treat each other with respect? How can the divorce rate amongst our brothers and sisters be rising?

My letter is nothing more than a plea to all Jews to stop fighting about stupidity, property lines, marriages that are failing and children growing up in split homes. Who cares what kind of kippah someone is wearing? Not the anti-Semites and terrorists.

If we want Moshiach to come, we can’t just daven and sing Ani Maamin. We can’t be happy with saying L’shana haba b’Yerushalayim at the end of the Seder and at the end of davening on Yom Kippur. We have to live our lives as if we truly want Moshiach to come.

Thanks for your amazing column and hatzlocha to you!


Dear Anonymous:

You are correct. If we really understood that in Shamayim everything we do or say is recorded, we would speak less lashon hara, not argue about silly things, and we would be passionate about mitzvos and middos. We would accept that we all have faults and only Hashem is perfect.

If we truly felt that way, our divorce rate would be closer to 0% and our children would grow up in warm loving homes. If we focused on the positive in everyone, especially in our spouses and our children, we would have a completely different perspective and we’d be happier people in general.

Thank you for writing in and reminding us of what we should all know, but often forget.


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Dr. Yael Respler is a psychotherapist in private practice who provides marital, dating and family counseling. Dr. Respler also deals with problems relating to marital intimacy. Letters may be emailed to [email protected]. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Orit Respler-Herman, a child psychologist, co-authors this column and is now in private practice providing complete pychological evaluations as well as child and adolescent therapy. She can be reached at 917-679-1612. Previous columns can be viewed at and archives of Dr. Respler’s radio shows can be found at