Q: I would like to teach my children how to walk around my neighborhood safely, especially after recent events. Of course, I want them to stay away from harmful elements or people, but I also don’t want to scare them silly. What is the best way to help my children learn to carefully navigate their neighborhood?
A: So much of parenting is figuring out when to protect our children and when to let them figure the world out on their own. If we shelter our children too much, they will never gain necessary skills for the future. Alternatively, if we give them too much freedom, they could misuse it and come to harm.
Therefore, how do we teach our children to handle themselves safely on the street? Like social skills, street smarts can be picked up naturally or they can be learned through explicit instruction. If you worry about your child’s safety, here are some great ways to help them gain street smarts.
Plan a route. If your child is old enough to walk on the street alone, help him figure out the best route to and from the places he frequents. Then, test-run the route with him several times. In addition, explain to him that he should not take shortcuts through alleyways or parking lots and that he should stay in heavily populated areas.
Designate “safe spots:” Once your child learns his route, pick out different homes that the two of you identify as “safe.” Safe spots include: fire stations, police stations, grandparents’ or friends’ houses, the library, and familiar stores and restaurants.
Two heads are better than one. Encourage your child to walk in groups with his friends. Predators are more likely to prey on children who are walking alone, whereas there is power in numbers when there are multiple children traveling together.
Stay away from strangers’ cars. When walking on the street, teach your child to walk on the sidewalk against traffic. This way, a car cannot pull up from behind and take the child unawares. Also, make sure that you teach your child never to go into a stranger’s car, regardless of what the person is offering: a ride, candy, or a toy.
No need for derech eretz. Without scaring your child, let him know that he need not be polite to people if he feels threatened. Sometimes, we teach our child to be so obedient, that they do not stick up for themselves if they are imperiled. Let your child know that there are occasions when it is okay to scream, “No!”
Indicate “safe” adults: Just as there are safe spots while walking home, teach your child about safe people on the street. While your child should avoid speaking to strangers, there are some extenuating circumstances when speaking to strangers is necessary. Explain that he should look for a woman with children or a police officer if he is in need of assistance. Understanding that there are adults he may speak to will not only make life less scary, but will also give him the skills to select wisely if he must ask a question of a stranger.
With a bit of instruction and explanation, street smarts can be learned!
