Savoring The New
After caring for many years for a loved one with a serious condition, upon their passing from this world, there are choices to be made.
I am not talking about moving into a smaller home, downsizing possessions, or deciding how to commemorate their life on this earth.
The ultimate choice is whether to celebrate a new beginning for one’s self, or submerge in melancholy into our past life, experiences and love. In essence, we may choose to stop our own lives long before our own “sell-by date.” This can be a decision concluded quite deliberately or it may simply evolve.
For me, it has been the later. I have only now realized, seven months after Hubby’s passing, that I have made a choice by selecting “the new.” Examples are an order, lest you think that I am frequenting night clubs looking for a “new” man or excitement that has been missing in recent years. Nope. Wrong girl.
What does one do when there is only one person to cook for? The answer is simple. Invite others to join you. Invite others to your table, to go for a walk, a coffee, a movie, a concert, a lecture, a tour, or a class. We certainly are capable of enjoying these experiences on our own, but it is so much richer when sharing with another.
Lately I have been looking at the hundreds, nay…thousands of recipes that I have collected and carefully put into folders and computer files. The ones that have tempted me, but which I did not try while caring for Hubby, whose palate over the past ten years became my parameters for recipe selection. All those recipes which sounded exciting have found themselves at the top of the “must-try” pile.
This week, two new exciting taste experiences in one meal are worth noting. With thick, beautiful whole white fish (called Baramundi in Israel) waiting to be defrosted, I selected a recipe for Japanese steamed fish with ginger, garlic, spring onions, sesame oil and other perfect ingredients. When the cooking was completed, it was an OMG moment (oh my gosh…).
A second recipe recommended by a dear friend – basmati rice made with Mangold stems and leaves, turmeric, onions and fennel – was a knock-out side to the subtle fish. Of course, I had to invite a good friend to join me for the meal. Very last minute, no fuss. I had eaten dishes with Mangold in them, but had never used it. I had never heard of it before moving to the Middle East. It is quite simply the large stems and enormous leaves which grow attached to beets. Who knew! I must provide the two recipes for you in my book when this journey finally gets into print.
While speaking with a young male friend (divorced with four young children) about these new recipes I discovered, he shared his own love of cooking and said we must “cook together!” What fun!
Now that my world does not revolve around doctor appointments, first aid, hallucinations, and confusion… I have so much time to appreciate the world around me. It is not automatic. I must advise, and repeat, that this is a choice which each of us can make.
Suddenly, new people are coming into my life. Interesting people with fascinating lives. Living in Jerusalem is a special opportunity to meet others from around the world.
Recently, I enjoyed the company of ten friends at my dinner table. I was quite stunned to find out that three of them spoke Swedish. Two of the guests were born in Sweden although one now lives in California and the other in Jerusalem. The third guest had married (and later divorced, a Swedish woman) and lived in Sweden for many years. It was not a planned connection, but lovely for them all to discover that they knew some of the same people. Jerusalem is the perfect city for new experiences and friends.
I awoke this morning with positive thoughts going through my head. Hubby’s favorite Frank Sinatra song, which he sang with great joy and expression began “I gotta be ME!” I have a video of his singing it with emphasis on the “ME” which is why it is written in capital letters. A 96- year-old man, days before his life was to expire… still wanted to enjoy every moment of his life.
His passing has now allowed me to do the same.
