web analytics
August 27, 2014 / 1 Elul, 5774
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
Jerusalem Mayor Nir Barkat (L) visits the JewishPress.com booth at The Event. And the Winners of the JewishPress.com Raffle Are…

Congratulations to all the winners of the JewishPress.com raffle at The Event



Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 10/28/11

By:

Chronicles-logo

Dear Rachel,

I am writing this letter in tears. I am a newlywed visiting her parents and am breaking down. Many people do their utmost to make a good impression while their children are dating or engaged, but this facade cannot be maintained forever. In my case, it has collapsed.

My husband and I walked through the door of my parents’ house to be greeted by an avalanche of chaos. There are mattresses, pillows and blankets strewn all over the living room, since the air conditioning is not working upstairs where many of the bedrooms are.

The kitchen is a filthy disaster, coated in grime and cluttered with piles of dirty dishes. When my parents are desperate to clear some space, they move leftovers and dirty dishes to what used to be a functioning guest room — only to have them be forgotten in a cloud of putrid odor.

There is no prepared food; the fridge is filled with rotting leftovers and I am in despair over how to feed my husband. We are not wealthy enough to eat out three meals a day. Cooking is difficult because there is filth covering every available surface near the stove, and other family members crowd around everywhere in a frenzied attempt to fashion a meal for themselves amidst all the chaos.

We are to be staying for several days, yet have no way to do the laundry since the basement is flying with everybody’s belongings, and trying to maneuver a way to get one’s stuff in and out of the washer and dryer causes much territorial tension.

The bathroom has not been cleaned in almost a year, and the shower is covered in mold and mildew. A couple of hours ago my husband stepped out of the shower only to find no towels. With no one around to hear him yell for one, he had to fish one out of the overflowing hamper.

On a more serious note, my father is unemployed and sick, and my mother just had her work hours cut. Since walking through the door, I have had not one conversation with either of them that did not include the mention of sickness, economic doom and gloom, and finger pointing.

My two sisters who still live with the folks are of marriageable age, one in her late 20′s and bitter. It is a strain on my marriage to have to “tone down” my own good fortune of having found my zivug, for fear of provoking the ayin hara (evil eye); this a strain that rests mainly on my shoulders since my husband could care less.

My other sister is married and refuses to visit the folks because the contrast between our family and that of her husband’s is just too humiliating. She once decided to do my parents a kindness and spent $20 on some new, much needed kitchen supplies for them. I know that my sister is not only reading this article, but is certain that it is me writing it — and I hope I am not breaking her heart by revealing that my parents are STILL using the same old grime-encrusted cutting boards!

I came here with my laptop hoping to get some work done, but the wiring in this house is defective and my laptop won’t work. I am writing this in a hurry because my sister will be home any minute and kick me off her computer.

To top it off, my husband is playing the martyr and pretending that everything is okay, while I suffer. I wish someone would give me some sympathy.

Nowhere to turn…

 

Dear Nowhere,

Congratulations on your marriage — to a man apparently able to maintain his cool in the most awkward of circumstances.

Due to the scant details your letter provides, one needs to do a lot of reading between the lines.

Many questions come to mind, such as: Were your parents expecting you? Did you live at home with your parents before you were married? If so, how come you were unprepared for the scenario that greeted you? Have you not been in touch with your parents, or with your two sisters still living at home, lately?

Generally speaking parents delight in having their married children over, especially at holiday time, and it is in the nature of married children to look forward to spending quality time with their parents in the secure comfort of the home environment they grew up in.

Both you and your parents may have started out with the noblest of intentions, but then reality set in — when it was much too late (or too embarrassing) to do anything about it. But look at the bright side: your painful experience may have been heaven-sent.

Be grateful that your eyes have been opened to the fact that your ailing parents are overwhelmed by their own daily needs, let alone the burden and stamina it takes to feed and entertain guests.

About the Author: We encourage women and men of all ages to send in their personal stories via email to rachel@jewishpress.com or by mail to Rachel/Chronicles, c/o The Jewish Press, 4915 16th Ave., Brooklyn, N.Y. 11204. If you wish to make a contribution and help agunot, your tax-deductible donation should be sent to The Jewish Press Foundation. Please make sure to specify that it is to help agunot, as the foundation supports many worthwhile causes.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 10/28/11”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
The three salesmen -Netanyahu, Ya'alon and Gantz
Netanyahu Tries to Sell Bill of Goods that Israel Won Goals in the War
Latest Sections Stories
Itzhak Perlman and Cantor Yitzchak Meir Helfgot together in concert.

Almost immediately the audience began singing and clapping and continued almost without stop throughout the rest of the concert.

Mordechai-082214-Armoire

As of late, vintage has definitely been in vogue in the Orthodox community.

Einhorn-082214-Water

Stroll through formal gardens, ride mountain bikes, or go rock climbing.

As they fall upon us we go
To the WALL.

One minute you’re shaving shwarma off a pit, then the shwarma guy tells you he read a (fake) WhatsApp that the boys are dead.

I probe a little deeper and Shula takes me into the world of phantom pains and prosthetic limbs.

This went on until she had immersed eighty times, and then Hashem at last took pity upon her.

Because Menachem lives in Israel, he can feel the ruach in the air.

Perhaps you can reach a compromise during this news frenzy, whereby you will feel more comfortable while he can still follow the latest events.

Leon experienced the War of Independence from a soldier’s perspective, while remaining true to his Jewish ideals and beliefs.

Chabad of Arizona centers recently hosted an evening of remembrance to mark the 20th yahrzeit of the Lubavitcher Rebbe.

    Latest Poll

    Do you think the FAA ban on US flights to Israel is political?






    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/chronicles-of-crises/chronicles-of-crises-in-our-communities-102811/2011/10/26/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: