Dear Mrs. Bluth,
I am so devastated at this writing, as are many others in my community. I am writing to you not so much for a solution, rather to bring this terrible problem to the forefront and perhaps save someone else’s child.
I just received the news that a neighbor’s son was involved in a horrible car accident and was niftar. He was driving home from a vort with three friends and they had all been drinking. Two of the other young men are in critical but guarded condition and the third, who had been sitting in the front seat, without a seat belt on, is not expected to make it. What makes no sense, is that the young man who died, the driver, was not drunk. What made him lose control and hit a tree? We might never know.
My heart breaks for our neighbors, who must now bury their only son and for the other parents who must wait and daven for a good outcome for their sons.
This is the most recent tragedy in a long history of road accidents that our community and neighboring communities have suffered over the last few years and I fear it will not be the last.
Please warn others that before they allow their sons and daughters to get behind the wheel of a car they are sure these kids are mature enough to make the right decisions. Kids with drug problems or alcohol addiction should not be allowed to drive, period. It is bad enough when older people are involved in car accidents, do to age, poor judgement or substance abuse but when it happens to eighteen and nineteen year olds, it is devastating!
Dear Friend,
My heart goes out to you, your neighbors who have suffered the tragic loss of a child and to the communities that have experienced so many losses. Your pain is palpable.
Car accidents can happen for any one of a hundred reasons, only two of which you mention. Aside from substance abuse and immaturity, there is also the possibility that a driver is too tired and his judgement is impaired or he dozes off while driving, or that he is ill which may cause him or her to lose control of the vehicle. You must also consider that there may have been another vehicle with an erratic driver who may have caused this young man to swerve off the road in order to avoid hitting him.
And then, there’s the addiction that is not documented anywhere, or actually considered an addiction, and that is speed. Not the kind that is inhaled or ingested, but actual speed that gives the driver, bicyclist or motorcyclist the rush and exhilaration on a stretch of empty road, especially at night.
Speed represents power and power is a strong draw for eighteen- and nineteen-year-olds who experience the thrill of it when they first get behind the wheel of a car. This often is the first feel of ultimate control and complete independence that they have and the rush is powerful and addictive – and often, deadly. Not every person is ready to drive when he or she is eighteen. Maturity and good judgement are things that develop at different times with different people and the legal age at which a young person is judged to be fit to drive may not be a true measure for everyone. Parents must be honest enough to recognize if their son or daughter is capable of handling the responsibility of driving, and if not, they are obligated to make sure that young person does not get behind the wheel of a car. A car and a gun are almost the same in that they are weapons that can maim or kill in the hands of the wrong person. So let’s add speed to the list of recognized addictions that could very well be the cause of so many car accidents where nothing else seems to justify a reason. And then, there’s Hashem’s Will.
***
Dear Mrs. Bluth,
This is in regard to the letter about the blind person and his guide dog. Please note that in two letters sent by the Lubavitcher Rebbe to the Rav Mendel Kasher, who wrote in his Torah Shleima (vol. 15) that it is forbidden to allow a dog in shul, the Rebbe disagrees with him and with the proofs brought to support the thesis. The Lubavitcher Rebbe concluded as follows (translated from the original Hebrew, words in square brackets have been added by the translator for explanation):
“In such a case [of allowing a blind person’s guide dog to accompany him into shul] there is another special point involved – according to the ruling in Shulchan Aruch Orech Chayim, end of chapter 88, that it [causes] great suffering when everyone gathers [in shul] while they [regarding women, during their periods] have to stand outside (although in the Shulchan Aruch it [refers] only to two weeks in the month, and even then, not for always. which is not the case for a blind person, etc. [for whom forbidding his dog from accompanying him might exclude him from shul permanently]. Of course, it is possible to arrange [his] entry into shul, with the assistance of a human being. But in the case mentioned in your column, if there is any importance to his coming into [shul] whether it is because or [otherwise it causes] emotional pain or because of the impotence of prayer specifically in a shul) one should seek ways to enable him to enter [with the dog] as is easy to understand.”
These letters are published in volume 18 of the Rebbe’s Igros Kodesh (pg. 422 and pg. 455) and are also reproduced in Shulchan Menachem (volume 1, pp. 308 – 310).
In other words, the Rebbe felt strongly that, out of sensitivity for the blind, and to avoid their emotional pain, every effort should be made, within the framework of halacha, to find ways of permitting their guide dogs to accompany them.
D. Goldberg
Dear Friend,
Thank you for taking the time to share an answer that will allow all of Klal Yisroel, including those who are afflicted with blindness, to be mispallel in shul, as is the right of every Jew.
