It was uncanny but on the morning I intended to leave, he started to hang around me and mumble how much he loves me. I wondered if he suddenly realized or felt that something was about to happen and I burst out crying, a deep, from-the-heart weeping, as if I was saying good-bye. Then I put my personal Yetziat Mitzrayim into motion. From under the bed I pulled the knapsack, threw that out of the window and nonchalantly walked out of the house as if I was going to visit a friend (interesting…he didn’t stop me from visiting friends). I went quickly to pick up my children. I told the teachers that we are having a family simcha and we must leave earlier than usual (it was true…leaving him was a family simcha).

I took a taxi and we stopped at my friend’s house to collect the plastic bags she kept for me. The taxi was filled with dozens of bags, floor to ceiling. I told the children that we are going to a friend who has a big house and I’m not sure yet how long we’ll stay there. That day, after verifying that I left the house and was on the way to Bat Melech, the Welfare Department contacted my husband and informed him that I and the children are in a safe and protected shelter and would not be coming back.

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I immediately began the divorce process which as of today is not finished. For years I kept my story buried inside of me. Since my escape I have related the circumstances a thousand times to welfare staff members, rabbonim, Dayanim, attorneys and judges.

During the first few weeks in the shelter I took a breather from all I’ve gone through and immersed myself into deep introspection and self analysis in order to understand what happened to me and why. This is a place to think, to heal and to rebuild. Everyone here has a similar story and no one judges anyone else. No one ever asked me ‘Why were you silent all these years? Why did you allow him to do this to you?’ After all, we were all in the same boat.”

* * * * *

The Hebrew version of this article was published in Yisrael HaYom, 10-11-2013 and translated By Isaac Kohn.

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