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Rabbi Shmuley Boteach: Make Men More Mature Rather than Send Girls Under the Knife


Yitta, a woman is not just beautiful because of her body. Want me to prove it? Who are the women who have achieved longevity in the popular culture? It’s women like Barbara Streisand and Meryl Streep who were never considered to be bombshell beauties. But their electrifying personalities and undeniable talent meant that people retained a longer interest in them than the average Playboy bunny without a brain.

Yitta complains that she attended an evening designed to introduce  hundreds of young women and prospective brides to the mothers of boys who might date them. The girls arrived without makeup. Yitta was shocked. Shocked! How dare they arrive without their faces painted? Don’t they know they have to make an impression?

Well, aside from the dubious practice of having girls sell themselves to prospective mothers-in-law – which has got to be one of the strangest things I have ever read, even in the already super-weird world of Shidduchim in which so many of our children already suffer (after all, is any girl out there really interested in a Momma’s boy who delegates to his mother the responsibility for choosing him a bride?) – there is the simple consideration that perhaps the young women felt relieved that they were actually going to meet creatures with greater depth than some shallow guy. In attending a shidduch event where they would meet Moms, rather than immature men, perhaps they felt relieved that they could actually be themselves. Maybe, just this once, they would be looked on as a man’s equal, someone who is judged by how much she has developed her intelligence and emotions, rather than bust size, cheek bones, and leg length.

Alas, it was not to be. Even the women, even the mothers, have had their ideals corrupted. And if these are the values with which orthodox Jewish mothers are today raising their sons, then it’s no surprise why their sons are so shallow, immature, and lost.

God help us all.

About the Author: Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, “America’s Rabbi” whom the Washington Post calls “the most famous Rabbi in America,” is the international best-selling author of 29 books, including The Fed-up Man of Faith: Challenging God in the Face of Tragedy and Suffering. Follow him on Twitter @RabbiShmuley.


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212 Responses to “Rabbi Shmuley Boteach: Make Men More Mature Rather than Send Girls Under the Knife”

  1. Mr. Salzhauer, i think you missed the point, and your examples of people in chumash that were singled out for their beauty are faulty.
    yes their physical beauty was bar none but you can also say the same thing for their inner beauty(middos) which are mentioned in the gemara and meforshim( which if you would like i can find for you, i dont have the maarei mkomos at hand)
    and with yosef- being the most beautiful man in the world wasnt really such a good thing- IE see eishes potifar medrash, it was a very hard test that in order for him to pass he needed to see an apparition of yitzchak's face.
    I feel that the main point of the article was not to say that women shouldnt try to make themselves look good, that is just illogical, but i feel his main point was that they should not mainly be judged on the outer beauty( yes it is a factor- ayain chovos halivavos) but inner beauty, hence the the title and accusation of us men growing up and not being so shallow
    and about speaking from the heart- do you know anyone who has or is suffering from anorexia/ bulimia? it is a horrible disease that the shidduch scene is not helping.
    while you may have issues with Boteach's political aspirations or his other ventures, when it comes to relationships between men and women and marriage especially in the orthodox community, he is very attuned to the sensitive issues and how to somewhat deal with them.

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