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Improving One’s Mood

17 Tammuz 5772 – July 6, 2012
Dear Dr. Yael: For the most part, my husband is a very good husband and father. He loves our children and will often go out of his way to make sure their needs are met. He is also loving and good to me. However, he often comes home with a very negative attitude. When he arrives home from work, he sees nothing good. He criticizes the children for not being in pajamas or for not finishing their homework. Even if he is right on both counts, he does not convey his criticism appropriately or at the right time.

Improving A Child’s Derech Eretz

9 Tammuz 5772 – June 28, 2012
Dear Dr. Yael: I have five children, and am struggling with my oldest son. He can be so good at times, but then he will...

Craving A Wife’s Emotions

2 Tammuz 5772 – June 21, 2012
Dear Dr. Yael: My wife, who takes good, loving care of our children and is very generous with her time, has a closed nature. It is not in her character to pay compliments or show appreciation. While she tries valiantly to never raise her voice to the children or me and works hard to always speak with derech eretz, I yearn to hear her tell me that she loves me – although I know that she does.

The Truth Always Wins Out

26 Sivan 5772 – June 15, 2012
Dear Dr. Respler: When I read your May 25 column, Making Peace With Your Mother-In-Law, I started to cry, as I knew that the letter signer (Heartbroken Daughter-in-Law) was my daughter-in-law. We always discuss your column, and I guess it was her way of delivering a message to me.

Spicing Up Your Marriage

18 Sivan 5772 – June 7, 2012
Dear Dr. Yael: After 30 years of marriage, some things that bothered me before are now magnified. While my husband was trying to make a...

Let Kids Be Kids

15 Sivan 5772 – June 4, 2012
Dear Dr. Yael: I now see why so many children are insecure. I have been a day-care provider for many years. When parents initially consider day care they want a small group so their children will not be neglected. But problems arise when their children turn two, and nursery or playgroup becomes an option. All of a sudden a group of 20-25 children is not a problem because it is much cheaper. I refer to two-two and a half year olds, whose parents feel that they need to exclusively be with children their own age.

Making Peace With Your Mother-In-Law

4 Sivan 5772 – May 24, 2012
Dear Dr. Respler: I have a problem with my mother-in-law. My in-laws and I have always had a good relationship, so this unexpected problem is really...

Understanding Post Partum Feelings

26 Iyyar 5772 – May 17, 2012
Dear Dr. Yael, I gave birth a little over a year ago and, even though it was not my first child, I felt differently this time around. I have always been a happy-go-lucky person, but after having this baby I could not seem to return to my previous self. I was moody, short-tempered and gloomy. While some of these symptoms could have been chalked up to normal baby blues, they persisted and I was becoming scared.

Boundless Miracles Available For The Taking

18 Iyyar 5772 – May 10, 2012
Dear Dr. Respler: The holidays are a great time to learn about ourselves – the good, the bad and the ugly – and then try to make lemonade from the lemons, turn the positive into building blocks, and generally create good things from the lessons learned. The Yamim Tovim are saturated with kedushah, leading to beautifully crafted creations from what one learned and experienced during these holy, spiritual days.

Acting Respectfully Always Pays Off

13 Iyyar 5772 – May 4, 2012
Dear Dr. Yael: Although I agree with your advice to A Passive Reader (Showing Respect Gets Results, 4-20) about how to deal with difficult people, I emphatically disagree with your decision to take the blame for the impatient frum guy who was honking his horn. If you saw him run someone over with his car, would you take the blame for that too? If you had gotten a ticket, would you have paid it? If the officer had arrested you, would you have gone to jail? I am not a rabbi, but I would be surprised if not informing means taking the blame as well.

Getting Your Children To Sleep

5 Iyyar 5772 – April 26, 2012
Dear Dr. Yael: I am having a very difficult time putting my children to sleep at night. My four-year-old son constantly barges out of his room after he has been put to bed. This usually goes on for about an hour - no matter how many times I put him back in bed or threaten to punish him. I also have an eight- year-old who is afraid of bedtime because she can't sleep.

Showing Respect Gets Results

28 Nisan 5772 – April 19, 2012
Dear Dr. Respler: At the recent wedding of my best friend’s son, I arrived for the chuppah early so as to secure a seat close to the front and by the aisle. I didn’t want to miss anything.

Improving Your Son’s Behavior

24 Nisan 5772 – April 15, 2012
Dear Dr. Yael: My five-year-old son is a very difficult child. Most of the time he will not do what I ask of him, and he has a tantrum when he does not get his way. Interestingly enough, he is much more obedient when it is just the two of us, but if the other children are around he is very hard to manage. I know that as he gets older, things will become more difficult. Thus, I want to help him change his middos now.

Help Wanted

14 Nisan 5772 – April 5, 2012
Dear Dr. Respler: I love my wife, who is by nature a difficult person. As a result, our seven children gravitate more to me than to her. She thinks she is always right, her favorite line being “I told you so.” This is annoying and drives all of us crazy.

Weighing Our Words Carefully

7 Nisan 5772 – March 29, 2012
Dear Dr. Respler: I am, Baruch Hashem, a healthy mother and grandmother who was recently trying to be helpful to my married daughter. After Shabbos my daughter, who has a large family, had many dishes piled in the sink. I planned on rinsing the dishes and placing them in the dishwasher, and then straightening up downstairs while she put her younger children to sleep. Aware of my plans my daughter, who loves me and means well, said, “Ma, please don’t work so hard. I will put the children to sleep, and then I can clean up and load the dishwasher quickly. I will do it quicker than you, and I want you to relax.” I was hurt. I know that she really wanted me to take it easy, but suddenly I felt like an old, useless woman. Do you think my daughter was right? How can I tell her how I feel without hurting her? My husband and I are planning to move in with my daughter, son-in-law and their children for Pesach. We always enjoy going there, but I do not feel good when I cannot be useful. I would like to help my daughter over Pesach, and would feel better if she allowed me to help her. Please advise me. A Healthy Grandmother

Encouraging Without Pushing

1 Nisan 5772 – March 23, 2012
Dear Dr. Respler: I recently lost my husband of 51 years, and I am very depressed. He was a true talmid chacham and a loving husband. Every morning when he was well, he went to shul early. He never missed a minyan and he learned every day. All his life he ran a business and, baruch Hashem, he worked hard and took excellent care of our children and me. I look at my grandsons and my grandsons-in-law and they don’t hold a candle to my husband. Even the children who learn in kollel are not as careful as my husband was about being on time for minyan. Everyone seems too busy for me, and I feel very lonely.

To A Lonely Wife: Give It A Rest!

22 Adar 5772 – March 15, 2012
Dear Dr. Yael: I read the March 2 letter from A Lonely Wife who feels unappreciated and neglected as she seeks more attention from her...

Instilling Derech Eretz

16 Adar 5772 – March 9, 2012
Dear Dr. Respler: I enjoyed your recent column concerning the jealousy a girl had toward her newborn brother.

Getting Your Husband’s Attention

8 Adar 5772 – March 1, 2012
Dr. Yael replies to a woman who feels like she's playing second fiddle to her husband's myriad phone calls, business deals, medical emergencies, and everyone else who needs him so desperately. Despite the fact that he buys her beautiful jewelry and gifts, that they live in a stunning house and have cleaners and babysitters, all this does not substitute for the intimacy and warmth that she craves from him.

Balancing Respect And Reality

2 Adar 5772 – February 24, 2012
Dear Dr. Yael: As a reader of all of your columns on hakaras hatov, here are my feelings as a child with loving parents.

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