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October 25, 2014 / 1 Heshvan, 5775
At a Glance

Posts Tagged ‘sort’

Turkey Condemns Rick Perry’s “Islamic terrorist” Comment

Wednesday, January 18th, 2012

Turkey condemned comments made by Republican presidential hopeful Rick Perry on Monday in which he said that the country is being ruled by “Islamic terrorists.”

“We strongly condemn the unfounded and inappropriate allegations expressed yesterday evening about our country during a debate held in South Carolina by Texas Governor Rick Perry …,” a Turkish Foreign Ministry spokesman said on Tuesday.

Perry is quoted as saying: “Obviously when you have a country that is being ruled by what many would perceive to be Islamic terrorists, when you start seeing that sort of activity against their own citizens, then yes – not only is it time for us to have a conversation about whether or not they belong in NATO, but it’s time for the United States, when we look at their foreign aid, to go to zero with it.”

You Are Your Child’s Best Advocate

Sunday, October 9th, 2011

When you have a child with special needs, whether it be medical or developmental, you are very familiar with signing those lengthy privacy practice information sheets. At some point we don’t even bother reading them because we know that once you have a child with special needs, nothing is ever private. Every professional has an opinion. Still, the ultimate decision is up to you.


I was always very conscious of being polite to every doctor that my daughter has ever seen. From very long hospital stays with rotating residents and attendings to a gastroenterologist, pulmonologist, cardiologist, endocrinologist, neurologist, ENT, radiologist, psychologist and on and on, I had to listen to the recommendations from all of these doctors regarding the care of my daughter. This can be very overwhelming for anyone.


I can recall one time about six months ago, when Eliana was admitted to the hospital because she needed IV fluids. At that point she did not have a central IV line since she was much younger. Putting an IV in her was very traumatic and very rarely successful.


In walks an overconfident resident who thinks that she can get an IV in Eliana’s small veins on the first try. I knew that medically she really needed to have this done and it broke my heart to have to hold her down. After Eliana spent about ten minutes screaming and thrashing around, the resident said to her, “Eliana, if you don’t cooperate with me, you might have to stay here for a month!” Had my ears deceived me? Did I really just hear this doctor threaten my daughter, who spent over a year in the hospital at one point? I felt the steam slowly rising to my ears. It was at that exact instant that I realized that I had the power to stop this doctor in her tracks.


I calmly said, “That’s it. You are done. Please don’t ever come back into this room.” I proceeded to speak to her superiors and told them that if this is how she is going to be with children who are sick, then she is in the wrong profession.


For weeks I had visions of seeing this doctor roaming the halls where I would have the opportunity to give her a real piece of my mind. I began to recall all the times a doctor had made a decision or comment that I didn’t agree with. How many times had I let Eliana suffer needlessly because of my inadequacy in dealing with doctors?


I resolved to myself that what was done was done. But what had I learned? I learned that I am my child’s best advocate. This applies to everything from doctor visits to school conferences. I knew that I had grown when a teacher told me that she was trying to “toughen Eliana up” because she would cry when she got bumped. I replied, “I know you mean well, but Eliana needs no more toughening up. Eliana has gone through more painful medical procedures than 20 people do in a lifetime. She needs you to listen to her when she says something hurts.”


All of my children receive the same type of advocacy, whether they have extra needs or not, and I still make mistakes. Parenting is a learning process.


Here are some tips on effective ways to advocate for your child:


Be proactive and educate yourself on what his/her needs are.


Always come to appointments prepared with questions.


Know that you can question anything a professional recommends for your child.


Keep adequate records of medications, appointments and phone calls.


If your child has a diagnosis of some sort, it is not helpful to keep it secret from your child’s teachers because they spend many hours a day with your child.


If your child is on a medication that may affect behavior in school, it can only benefit your child if the teacher knows. This way, if your child begins behaving differently, the teacher can keep track and be her advocate, too.


Learn from mistakes.

You Are Your Child’s Best Advocate

Sunday, October 9th, 2011

When you have a child with special needs, whether it be medical or developmental, you are very familiar with signing those lengthy privacy practice information sheets. At some point we don’t even bother reading them because we know that once you have a child with special needs, nothing is ever private. Every professional has an opinion. Still, the ultimate decision is up to you.


I was always very conscious of being polite to every doctor that my daughter has ever seen. From very long hospital stays with rotating residents and attendings to a gastroenterologist, pulmonologist, cardiologist, endocrinologist, neurologist, ENT, radiologist, psychologist and on and on, I had to listen to the recommendations from all of these doctors regarding the care of my daughter. This can be very overwhelming for anyone.


I can recall one time about six months ago, when Eliana was admitted to the hospital because she needed IV fluids. At that point she did not have a central IV line since she was much younger. Putting an IV in her was very traumatic and very rarely successful.


In walks an overconfident resident who thinks that she can get an IV in Eliana’s small veins on the first try. I knew that medically she really needed to have this done and it broke my heart to have to hold her down. After Eliana spent about ten minutes screaming and thrashing around, the resident said to her, “Eliana, if you don’t cooperate with me, you might have to stay here for a month!” Had my ears deceived me? Did I really just hear this doctor threaten my daughter, who spent over a year in the hospital at one point? I felt the steam slowly rising to my ears. It was at that exact instant that I realized that I had the power to stop this doctor in her tracks.


I calmly said, “That’s it. You are done. Please don’t ever come back into this room.” I proceeded to speak to her superiors and told them that if this is how she is going to be with children who are sick, then she is in the wrong profession.


For weeks I had visions of seeing this doctor roaming the halls where I would have the opportunity to give her a real piece of my mind. I began to recall all the times a doctor had made a decision or comment that I didn’t agree with. How many times had I let Eliana suffer needlessly because of my inadequacy in dealing with doctors?


I resolved to myself that what was done was done. But what had I learned? I learned that I am my child’s best advocate. This applies to everything from doctor visits to school conferences. I knew that I had grown when a teacher told me that she was trying to “toughen Eliana up” because she would cry when she got bumped. I replied, “I know you mean well, but Eliana needs no more toughening up. Eliana has gone through more painful medical procedures than 20 people do in a lifetime. She needs you to listen to her when she says something hurts.”


All of my children receive the same type of advocacy, whether they have extra needs or not, and I still make mistakes. Parenting is a learning process.


Here are some tips on effective ways to advocate for your child:


Be proactive and educate yourself on what his/her needs are.


Always come to appointments prepared with questions.


Know that you can question anything a professional recommends for your child.


Keep adequate records of medications, appointments and phone calls.


If your child has a diagnosis of some sort, it is not helpful to keep it secret from your child’s teachers because they spend many hours a day with your child.


If your child is on a medication that may affect behavior in school, it can only benefit your child if the teacher knows. This way, if your child begins behaving differently, the teacher can keep track and be her advocate, too.


Learn from mistakes.

You Are Your Child’s Best Advocate

Sunday, October 9th, 2011

When you have a child with special needs, whether it be medical or developmental, you are very familiar with signing those lengthy privacy practice information sheets. At some point we don’t even bother reading them because we know that once you have a child with special needs, nothing is ever private. Every professional has an opinion. Still, the ultimate decision is up to you.


I was always very conscious of being polite to every doctor that my daughter has ever seen. From very long hospital stays with rotating residents and attendings to a gastroenterologist, pulmonologist, cardiologist, endocrinologist, neurologist, ENT, radiologist, psychologist and on and on, I had to listen to the recommendations from all of these doctors regarding the care of my daughter. This can be very overwhelming for anyone.


I can recall one time about six months ago, when Eliana was admitted to the hospital because she needed IV fluids. At that point she did not have a central IV line since she was much younger. Putting an IV in her was very traumatic and very rarely successful.


In walks an overconfident resident who thinks that she can get an IV in Eliana’s small veins on the first try. I knew that medically she really needed to have this done and it broke my heart to have to hold her down. After Eliana spent about ten minutes screaming and thrashing around, the resident said to her, “Eliana, if you don’t cooperate with me, you might have to stay here for a month!” Had my ears deceived me? Did I really just hear this doctor threaten my daughter, who spent over a year in the hospital at one point? I felt the steam slowly rising to my ears. It was at that exact instant that I realized that I had the power to stop this doctor in her tracks.


I calmly said, “That’s it. You are done. Please don’t ever come back into this room.” I proceeded to speak to her superiors and told them that if this is how she is going to be with children who are sick, then she is in the wrong profession.


For weeks I had visions of seeing this doctor roaming the halls where I would have the opportunity to give her a real piece of my mind. I began to recall all the times a doctor had made a decision or comment that I didn’t agree with. How many times had I let Eliana suffer needlessly because of my inadequacy in dealing with doctors?


I resolved to myself that what was done was done. But what had I learned? I learned that I am my child’s best advocate. This applies to everything from doctor visits to school conferences. I knew that I had grown when a teacher told me that she was trying to “toughen Eliana up” because she would cry when she got bumped. I replied, “I know you mean well, but Eliana needs no more toughening up. Eliana has gone through more painful medical procedures than 20 people do in a lifetime. She needs you to listen to her when she says something hurts.”


All of my children receive the same type of advocacy, whether they have extra needs or not, and I still make mistakes. Parenting is a learning process.


Here are some tips on effective ways to advocate for your child:


Be proactive and educate yourself on what his/her needs are.


Always come to appointments prepared with questions.


Know that you can question anything a professional recommends for your child.


Keep adequate records of medications, appointments and phone calls.


If your child has a diagnosis of some sort, it is not helpful to keep it secret from your child’s teachers because they spend many hours a day with your child.


If your child is on a medication that may affect behavior in school, it can only benefit your child if the teacher knows. This way, if your child begins behaving differently, the teacher can keep track and be her advocate, too.


Learn from mistakes.

Divorced Father and His Relationship with His Three Year Old Son

Wednesday, February 9th, 2011

Question: My son is three-years-old and we have a great relationship. However, his mother and I are divorced and every time I go to pick him up he runs around and sort of avoids me. It’s seems more like a game than anything else. I say that because once I chase him down and get him, we go off together – no tears, everything is great. But then, when I drop him off, he runs away without saying goodbye. For me his behavior is somewhat disturbing, how mother though has said that all this means he really doesn’t want to be with me. Other than pick-up and drop-off everything is truly fine between us. Shouldn’t my ex-wife try to help instead of doing nothing and complaining?

Answer: Taking you at your word that there is no further issue and that your son is not genuinely unhappy to see you or thrilled to leave you, it seems that you have something of a training issue. This is one of those divorce-related issues that commonly gets out of hand quickly. If his parents were married, they would demand he give each parent a kiss hello or goodbye as a greeting. The obvious support of both parents creates a simple, easy resolution to training a child to properly greet others.

After a divorce, there are these sad differences that cause further rifts between parents. Your ex probably feels it’s not her job to deal with this or, worse, that she’d be covering up real issues which are occurring between you and your son. It would be ideal if she’d help and the two of you could stand firm together and teach this simple well-mannered behavior. In fact, the behavior could be brought on by conversations she’s having around your son in anticipation of your time together. In subtle ways she could be making your son anxious. She could be saying things like, “Everything will be okay with Daddy and I’ll be right here when you get back waiting, don’t worry.” This sort of sentence contains underlying negative messages that little kids feel and interpret without even realizing it.

However, there is nothing in the scenario you’ve described that would suggest that mom is fueling this behavior – and it may be time to reduce your dependence on her doing the job of parenting. It’s not her job any more than it’s yours to care for this situation. In reality, distancing herself from this may help you learn to be a more complete parent and feel confident to manage these types of situations.

A simple solution would be to teach your child a secret handshake and greeting that you practice with him. The secret handshake can include a ritualistic kiss and hug as well. This way, through fun and love, you’ll get your son in the habit of running to you to be involved in the “secret” greeting.

Good-Bye Thin Lips

Wednesday, October 13th, 2010

Most women want to have fuller lips, or at least give the impression that they have fuller lips. As we age our lips get thinner. But there are different techniques you can do to give the illusion that your lips are full and youthful looking.

The first step is to apply some sort of moisturizing lip balm. You can use any lip balm, or even a thin layer of Vaseline and blot off any excess. I happen to like using Aquaphor (healing ointment by Eucerin) but you can really use anything to make your lips smooth looking. Next, you want to choose lip colors on the lighter side. Pinks, nudes, and corals are nice choices. Darker colors have a tendency to give off the illusion of thinner lips, so avoid dark colors. Sheer moisturizing lipsticks are better choices then matte finishes. Light reflects better off the sheer lipsticks than off of matte finishes, and make the lips appear fuller. The only down side of sheerer formulas is that it doesn’t last as long as matte finishes would, so you may have to reapply throughout the day.

The next step is not an absolute must, especially when using light sheer colors, but it can help filling out the lips. Line the lips in a shade that matches the lipstick color, but make sure you don’t go too far down on the skin; it will make the lips appear unnatural. If you skip lining your lips, then you can apply the lipstick straight out of the tube since the application does not need to be precise. If you do line your lips, then it’s preferable to use a lip brush for this step.

Now for the final step, you can apply a little lip gloss to the center of your lips. If you don’t want to apply lip gloss over lipstick, you can apply a tinted lip gloss and skip the whole process above, but keep in mind that lip glosses last a shorter time then lipsticks do.

Sharona Silva is a makeup artist, specializing in airbrush makeup, who works in the New York City area. Sharona recently launched her own skin care line for all types of skin. Please submit questions to tips@sharonasilva.com. Questions may be used in future columns; all inquiries will remain anonymous. Visit www.sharonasilva.com for more information.

Unraveling Jewish Threads: James Sturm’s Graphic Novel Market Day

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

Market Day


By James Sturm


Hardcover, 96 pages, $21.95



 

 


Greek and Roman mythology envisioned the fates — the Moirae or the Parcae — as spinners of thread. Clotho (Nona) wove life’s threads; Lachesis (Decima) measured; and Atropos (Morta) cut. To the Greeks and Romans, the cosmos was artfully woven by deities, but was also unstable and liable to fray or to unwind piece by piece. Given the Greco-Roman gods’ tendencies to act like children, the pattern of life was particularly chaotic.

 

In Judaism we understand that God weaves the various strands of life together.  Many readers will recall the famous story of the heretic who approached Rabbi Akiva asking for proof that God created the world. Rabbi Akiva counters with his own question: “Who made your cloak?” The heretic is forced to admit there was an artist involved in the manufacture. By way of theological induction, Rabbi Akiva argues the same could be said of the world, which implies God the Weaver.

 

In its examination of the increasingly difficult life of an Eastern European Jewish weaver in an early 1900s shtetl, James Sturm’s new graphic novel Market Day (April, 2010) is part of a larger religious and literary tradition of examining the intersection of faith and the loom. But Sturm’s bleak narrative is unique in its introduction of a sort of “reader response theory” into the mix.

 

In Surprised by Sin: The Reader in Paradise Lost (Harvard UP, 1967), Stanley Fish, Davidson-Kahn distinguished university professor of humanities and law at Florida International University, argues that John Milton intended readers of Paradise Lost (1667) to undergo an experience of reading that paralleled Adam’s experience. Readers, according to Fish, discover themselves unconsciously sympathizing with Satan’s character, and upon realizing their “sin,” they (like Adam) seek to repent. Readers don’t passively read about Adam’s story so much as they “experience” it — thus the theory of the reader’s response.

 

 


 

 

Sturm offers readers the same sort of close identification with his character Mendleman. Mendleman is a master rug-maker, who leaves his eight-month pregnant wife Rachel at home while he travels to the market to hawk his woven wares. Echoing what is doubtless a common sentiment among artists who spend most of their time in the studio, Mendleman observes, “For one who spends the majority of his time working in solitude, the market is intoxicating.”

 

Although he enjoys the anonymity that the market offers — a drastic change from the prying neighbors’ eyes and ears in a small village — Mendleman also likes meeting up with acquaintances like Rabbi Soyer. Sporting a new pair of eyeglasses, the rabbi observes, “My son and I should both study the Talmud with the same devotion and thoughtfulness that you apply to your rugs.”

 

It turns out that Mendleman’s rugs have helped the rabbi and his son in their religious observance. One particular rug he made of black and deep purple helps the rabbi determine when the Sabbath starts; when he cannot distinguish between the two colors it is dark enough for the Sabbath to begin. (This seems to be an adaptation of Berachot 9B, where one can tell when to say a morning prayer based on one’s ability to differentiate between blue and white wool.)

 


 

“Something as common as a rug,” Mendleman continues, “can indeed embody the gifts and miracles of God — the first steps of one’s child, the moment Sabbath begins, or the glorious bustle of the market day.” One is reminded of the women who spun the goat hairs for the Tabernacle in Exodus 35:26 with “wise hearts.”

 

Unfortunately for Mendleman, if God resides also in rugs, the divine does not sell. The specialty shop that has sold Mendleman’s rugs in the past — the sort of shop every artist hopes for, where the man behind the counter has such a discerning eye that the artist confuses him with a critic — is under new ownership. The new management is a businessman who is more interested in lucrative kitsch than art that will stick to the shelves, so Mendleman needs to choose between settling for a cheaper price for his rugs and returning home without any sales.

 

But seen through Fish’s reader response theory, even as Mendleman loses his clientele and his patron-critic, he gains a new set of viewers for his work: Sturm’s readers. Sturm draws Mendleman’s experiences in the marketplace and his frustrations not only from a removed, objective perspective, but also through Mendleman’s perspective. On several occasions, Sturm shows the rugs Mendleman is imagining as he looks at the rising sun or the busyness of the marketplace. Even if Mendleman’s rugs fail to sell, the graphic novel is perhaps his greatest work. (Unfortunately, the advanced reader’s copy of the book I received is black-and-white, but it cautions, “Please note that final book will be full color.”)

 

 


 

Sturm is also a master of suggestion. On the first page, as Mendleman is leaving his house before dawn to head to the market, Sturm shows the mezuzah filling one cartoon frame. Although Mendleman does not appear in the frame, Sturm suggests Mendleman reaching out his hand to touch the mezuzah and then to kiss his finger in reverence. I find it interesting that this implication is probably lost on readers who are not familiar with what a mezuzah is, so perhaps Sturm has an intended, initiated Jewish audience. Needless to say, this is a rare and risky sort of move from a publisher like Drawn & Quarterly.

 

Although I do look forward to seeing the final color version, I suspect I may end up preferring the black and white version in the end. A quick glance on the publisher’s website reveals a PDF version of some of the colored pages, which are effective mostly because they rely on very little color. Mendleman’s world is too dreary to admit too much color. And in the black-and-white version, his masterful rugs become more ironic or Absurdist, almost like the emperor’s new clothes. Could there be a better metaphor for the struggles of the shtetl than a rug maker, so proud of the gorgeous detail of his black, white and gray rugs?


 


All images are courtesy of Drawn & Quarterly.


 


Menachem Wecker, who blogs on faith and art for the Houston Chronicle at http://blogs.chron.com/iconia, welcomes comments at mwecker@gmail.com.  He lives in Washington, D.C.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/unraveling-jewish-threads-james-sturms-graphic-novel-market-day-2/2010/03/03/

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