There are many more things we do in this world, but it would be too long to mention in this letter. I am sure you get the point. But you are correct. The community elders have programmed us: We have no minds. We are simply senseless robots with no emotions or self-control. We commend you for your scholarship and your ability to provide accurate psychoanalysis of everyone and everything.
We have come to see the error of our ways and join you in calling for the destruction of the Zionist regime. Thank you for helping us see the light, sir. We join you in wanting to see the end of that horrid world-controlling machine. The song “Kumbaya” can now be sung and heard in every language on the face of the earth. Thank you for letting us see the light and we do apologize for controlling your world (and your speeches at Brandeis University).
Our very best,
Two Former Elders of Zion,
Chloé Simone Valdary, University of New Orleans ’15.
Daniel Mael, Brandeis ’15