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I recently became aware that Rabbi Yosie Levine of the Jewish Center will be addressing a so-called “LGBT” group for Jewish youth. He will deliver a pre-Yom Kippur shiur. I’m sure Rabbi Levine means well but I want to share my story and maybe he will think twice about associating with this group (I am deliberately not mentioning the name of the group because I don’t wish to give them any publicity).

About a year or so ago, your paper published a letter from a young man who is struggling with homosexual desires. Ever since that time, I have felt compelled to write. I too am gay. But I have a different outlook than Chaim Levin. It seems like Chaim has given up. Unlike him I have not given up. I will never give up. I want to have a wife and children in the natural way. I believe that is Hashem’s plan. And no matter what the gay liberals tell me, they won’t change my mind. I think Chaim Levin is a good person and that he means well in what he wrote. I don’t mean to judge him. I just feel that he has been led astray. Similarly, I think Rabbi Levine means well but he might not be fully aware of what this group does.

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This Jewish group for homosexual young people is supposedly orthodox—and I emphasize supposedly. It wouldn’t be fair to paint everyone with a broad brush but the fact is some of the members of that group are more interested in being gay than being Jewish. For some of them, their real agenda is to undermine the Torah’s view of homosexuality. They don’t just want to be accepted as Jews struggling with the tayvah of same-sex attraction. They want to be fully embraced when they act upon their desires and publicly lead that lifestyle—a lifestyle that blatantly contradicts the Torah. They want to destroy JONAH (a Jewish organization that tries to help those struggling with homosexual desires). They want gay marriage to be legalized in every state and they want gay couples raising kids. They march, with kipa and tzitzis, in the “gay pride” parade. This is a parade with the most vulgar, lewd, and disgusting displays you can possibly imagine going on and they create a chillul Hashem every year. I wish I had more of a support group among people that are struggling, but the truth is, these people do NOT represent me. Most of them have given up the struggle and have given into their desires. With G-d’s help, I have not given up and I hope that I never will.

This group, and the liberals in general, tell me to just “accept myself” and that this is “who I am.” But that’s just it! I’ve already accepted myself. I know I am more attracted to men than to women but I also know that is not the way G-d wants me to live my life. Even putting religion aside, I know it is not the way I want to live my life. I want a wife and children—and G-d willing someday grandchildren! And so instead of giving up and giving in to my desires I continue to fight and struggle every single day. No, it’s not easy. Sometimes my temptations have gotten the better of me, but then I remember that no matter how many times I may fall, a Jew never gives up! I remember the words of Rebbe Nachman who reminds us to “Never give up!”

I will admit that sometimes I get tired of this struggle. It’s not easy. I sometimes feel like I have no place to turn. I wish these “open-minded” liberal Jews were really as accepting and tolerant as they pretend to be. The truth is they are only tolerant if you go along with their “LGBT” agenda but if not they will attack you. Sometimes I feel like I’m alone in this struggle and sometimes I feel like I have nowhere to turn. But then I remember that I do have a place to turn: I turn to the One above and know that He will guide me and help me if I just put my trust in Him. So that is my message for other young guys ( and girls) who are struggling. Never give up! Never! G-d loves you very, very much. More than you can imagine. And no matter what you decide to do He will still love you anyway, no matter what. But He has given us free will. We can use that to follow Him or to follow after our “heart and our eyes which lead us astray. “ I have chosen to try my best to follow His will. I may succeed or I may fail but after 120 and least I will be able to say, “I tried!”

Disclosure: The author has requested that his article be published anonymously. The author is not associated with the JONAH organization mentioned in the article.

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32 COMMENTS

  1. good for you. you have no right however to interfere with how others live their lives, build their families, love who they choose to love. no one and nothing including god or torah gives you that right……this is not israel. if you want a theocracy, move to bnai brak.

  2. Nice work men and let me tell you something You will succeed if you keep yourself with G-D,,, and to richard fox the second comment you are a complete disgrace,,, Gays don´t love each other that´s a BIG lie example i worked for 2 years in clinical lab and 95% of HIV positives were gays ,,, and a nurse asked one them why do he think that happen he answered that everyone do it with everyone ,,, that is repulsive disgusting that is not love that is LUST repulsive lust dirty lewdness people.

  3. That’s a beautiful ideal but what about this poor woman you intend to marry? How do you marry an innocent girl when you’re not even attracted to her but other men? Doesn’t evey woman deserve a husband who is attracted and desired by her fully? The ultra orthodox have made heterosexual marriage the ultimate way of living a happy life but there are many people who sacrifice their happineS as a result God says: ‘deruchehu satchel noam

  4. You are not alone brother. H’ is with you. Rebbe Nachman is with you. We are all with you in your struggle to live in Halacha. Sexual desire makes us all crazy. Lift your heart to H’, say Tikun HaClali, and look at your good points. Your unique contribution to the Torah and to building the Beit Hamikdash is infinitely precious. חזק ואמץ בעבודתך. נ נח נחמ נחמן מאומן.

  5. You anonymously attack people by name so close to YK and you think that somehow this is right? If you want to throw mud, do it publicly, not hiding behind anonymity. Then at least those you have accused falsely have a chance to correct you.

  6. Dear Jewish Press,

    Hiding safe behind his own “anonymity” the author of this article publicly trashes two other yiddin by name (one an Orthodox Rav). I am even more in shock that the paper allowed this a day before Yom Kippur. The negativity directed toward others in that anonymous piece is needless, pointless, and only serves to ruin hundreds of already vulnerable youths’ Yom Kippur.

    As the director of JQY I am certainly an advocate of the “anonymous” author publicly sharing his feelings about himself, and his hopes, fears and dreams. We all are different. It is important for people to hear everyone’s story, and everyone should feel validated for their journey. However, there is neither a need or any purpose in including negative rhetoric, personal attacks or suggest malicious intent about others. You do not need to shame others in order to tell your story!

    The only reason both Chaim and Rav Levine’s names were used in the article was to speak disparagingly about them and to embarrass them.
    This was an obvious and direct attempt to apply stigma and pressure onto Rabbi Levine. The author is neither a reporter or someone who’s story can be verified. No context is even offered to explain Rabbi Levine’s shiur or decision. In fact the author remains anonymous and insists on protecting his own confidentiality as he names the names of other people to shame! This is simply despicable, and absolutely hallachically and hashkafically wrong…AND ON THE DAY BEFORE YOM KIPPUR!

    In Yehadus to shame someone publicly is likened to murder. To shame a whole group of people by publishing Motzie Shem Ra about them is unforgivable. Why does the author insist on speaking negatively about the members of this group and community? Does someone else marching in a pride parade or identifying as gay hurt HIM? He never cites an incident where he was silenced or shamed for his feelings, because at JQY he never would be!

    The truth is, at JQY (Temicha) there are many people who decide not to march in parades. They are never made to feel bad. In fact at JQY there are many people who do not identify as “gay” and may be in forms of therapy to explore living heterosexual lifestyles. Sexuality exists on a spectrum and sometimes has innate fluidity; how could we ever make someone feel bad for wanting to lead a hallachic life? Most of us wish for that! We would never shame anyone for trying. The author should be proud of his commitment to Hashem. In insisting on his own anonymity, it is he, not us, who seems to be insecure with his decisions and life choices.

    We certainly would never silence him! In fact, on the contrary, we sometimes include celibate, heterosexually married and Jews in conversion therapy on our JQY panels and educational initiatives. At JQY our goal is health and well being. We would never make anyone feel bad about their choices. Our only rule is not to harm or attack others.

    It is never my wish to silence anyone. So I actually do not think the article should be completely removed. I ask the “anonymous” author to re-write the article, and focus on himself and his wishes and desires, without bad-mouthing others in the process. Furthermore, if he chooses to keep his name confidential, than he should at least extend the same respect to other Jews.

    Especially on Erev Yom Kippur, I think this is a reasonable request.
    May we all work to build each other up and not to tear each other down.

    Gmar Chasima Tova

    Sincerely,
    Mordechai Levovitz
    Director, JQY
    JQYouth. com

  7. That's a beautiful ideal but what about this poor woman you intend to marry? How do you marry an innocent girl when you're not even attracted to her but other men? Doesn't evey woman deserve a husband who is attracted and desired by her fully? The ultra orthodox have made heterosexual marriage the ultimate way of living a happy life but there are many people who sacrifice their happineS as a result God says: 'deruchehu satchel noam

  8. You are not alone brother. H' is with you. Rebbe Nachman is with you. We are all with you in your struggle to live in Halacha. Sexual desire makes us all crazy. Lift your heart to H', say Tikun HaClali, and look at your good points. Your unique contribution to the Torah and to building the Beit Hamikdash is infinitely precious. חזק ואמץ בעבודתך. נ נח נחמ נחמן מאומן.

  9. You anonymously attack people by name so close to YK and you think that somehow this is right? If you want to throw mud, do it publicly, not hiding behind anonymity. Then at least those you have accused falsely have a chance to correct you.

  10. Dear Jewish Press,

    Hiding safe behind his own "anonymity" the author of this article publicly trashes two other yiddin by name (one an Orthodox Rav). I am even more in shock that the paper allowed this a day before Yom Kippur. The negativity directed toward others in that anonymous piece is needless, pointless, and only serves to ruin hundreds of already vulnerable youths' Yom Kippur.

    As the director of JQY I am certainly an advocate of the "anonymous" author publicly sharing his feelings about himself, and his hopes, fears and dreams. We all are different. It is important for people to hear everyone's story, and everyone should feel validated for their journey. However, there is neither a need or any purpose in including negative rhetoric, personal attacks or suggest malicious intent about others. You do not need to shame others in order to tell your story!

    The only reason both Chaim and Rav Levine's names were used in the article was to speak disparagingly about them and to embarrass them.
    This was an obvious and direct attempt to apply stigma and pressure onto Rabbi Levine. The author is neither a reporter or someone who's story can be verified. No context is even offered to explain Rabbi Levine's shiur or decision. In fact the author remains anonymous and insists on protecting his own confidentiality as he names the names of other people to shame! This is simply despicable, and absolutely hallachically and hashkafically wrong…AND ON THE DAY BEFORE YOM KIPPUR!

    In Yehadus to shame someone publicly is likened to murder. To shame a whole group of people by publishing Motzie Shem Ra about them is unforgivable. Why does the author insist on speaking negatively about the members of this group and community? Does someone else marching in a pride parade or identifying as gay hurt HIM? He never cites an incident where he was silenced or shamed for his feelings, because at JQY he never would be!

    The truth is, at JQY (Temicha) there are many people who decide not to march in parades. They are never made to feel bad. In fact at JQY there are many people who do not identify as "gay" and may be in forms of therapy to explore living heterosexual lifestyles. Sexuality exists on a spectrum and sometimes has innate fluidity; how could we ever make someone feel bad for wanting to lead a hallachic life? Most of us wish for that! We would never shame anyone for trying. The author should be proud of his commitment to Hashem. In insisting on his own anonymity, it is he, not us, who seems to be insecure with his decisions and life choices.

    We certainly would never silence him! In fact, on the contrary, we sometimes include celibate, heterosexually married and Jews in conversion therapy on our JQY panels and educational initiatives. At JQY our goal is health and well being. We would never make anyone feel bad about their choices. Our only rule is not to harm or attack others.

    It is never my wish to silence anyone. So I actually do not think the article should be completely removed. I ask the "anonymous" author to re-write the article, and focus on himself and his wishes and desires, without bad-mouthing others in the process. Furthermore, if he chooses to keep his name confidential, than he should at least extend the same respect to other Jews.

    Especially on Erev Yom Kippur, I think this is a reasonable request.
    May we all work to build each other up and not to tear each other down.

    Gmar Chasima Tova

    Sincerely,
    Mordechai Levovitz
    Director, JQY
    JQYouth. com

  11. Dear Anonymous:

    What strikes me hardest about your rant is your erev Yom Kippur personal attack on Chaim. Are you his ex? Is this a vendetta post? Why would you mention him by name?

    Another interesting point is your pin-point accurate description of the Gay Pride Parade – I guess you have attended these? I mean, of course, no doubt, it was “The LGBT (Gay) Agenda” that made you go, AND made you sleep with men – I mean, let’s put the blame where it belongs! That darn “Gay Agenda” forcing you to behave that way, making you have a desire for men over women. It couldn’t POSSIBLY be YOU!!!! G@d forbid!

    Oh, and lest I forget, you say, “I want to have a wife and children in the natural way.” Why? So you can cheat on her with men? So you disapprove of adoption as well? What about those who HaShem doesn’t bless with children, should they not adopt? BTW studies show that the overwhelming majority of children adopted and raised by same-sex couples are happy and well-adjusted and live regular lives. But I guess that too is a part of that “LGBT Agenda” you are so influenced by.

    Sir, you make me sad hours before the Chag. I want to love you because you are a Jew but your attacks on others makes that hard.

    My hope is that you will reflect on what you have done here and spend this, hopefully the last, Yom Kippur fasting and searching your heart and soul. Your desire for men will not go away, you were born this way, wired by HaShem Yisborach for this life. Stop blaming the “Agenda” and start living YOUR life.

  12. Dear Anonymous:

    What strikes me hardest about your rant is your erev Yom Kippur personal attack on Chaim. Are you his ex? Is this a vendetta post? Why would you mention him by name?

    Another interesting point is your pin-point accurate description of the Gay Pride Parade – I guess you have attended these? I mean, of course, no doubt, it was "The LGBT (Gay) Agenda" that made you go, AND made you sleep with men – I mean, let's put the blame where it belongs! That darn "Gay Agenda" forcing you to behave that way, making you have a desire for men over women. It couldn't POSSIBLY be YOU!!!! G@d forbid!

    Oh, and lest I forget, you say, "I want to have a wife and children in the natural way." Why? So you can cheat on her with men? So you disapprove of adoption as well? What about those who HaShem doesn't bless with children, should they not adopt? BTW studies show that the overwhelming majority of children adopted and raised by same-sex couples are happy and well-adjusted and live regular lives. But I guess that too is a part of that "LGBT Agenda" you are so influenced by.

    Sir, you make me sad hours before the Chag. I want to love you because you are a Jew but your attacks on others makes that hard.

    My hope is that you will reflect on what you have done here and spend this, hopefully the last, Yom Kippur fasting and searching your heart and soul. Your desire for men will not go away, you were born this way, wired by HaShem Yisborach for this life. Stop blaming the "Agenda" and start living YOUR life.

  13. The Director of JQY, Mordechai Levovitz, says its not his wish for the article to be taken down and that JQY would never want to silence anyone, that is really interesting because just last night he sent out several emails to frum gay groups literally begging everyone to immediately email the Jewish Press and demand that they take the article down and then included the emails of the various editors. Perhaps he saw that his tactic of trying to destroy free speech and silence people was not going to work with the Jewish Press so he changed his tune. Either way, what he wrote in his response is very disingenuous and misleading to say the least. Also: Exactly how did the article attack Chaim Levin or Rabbi Levine? It specifically said they were both good people who meant well but perhaps they were misinformed as to the true nature of this “LGBT” group.

  14. Another commentator said you sent around emails last night trying to get the Jewish Press to remove the original article. Is this true? If so, how does it fit with where you said you don’t believe in silencing people?
    One other thing: How is anything in the original article loshon hora? Who did it “badmouth?” I thought he spoke rather nicely about the two people that were named.

  15. I feel for you. If you reframe how you approach this issue, I think it might help. From a Torah perspective, there is no homosexual only homosexual acts and desires. The LGBT agenda is founded on the lie of a gay identity. You are a Jewish Man, point blank. We all struggle with our desires. I am very proud of you for being so open and realizing that LGBT has an agenda that doesn't fit a Jewish Torah life. Remember, Hashem only gives us challanges we can handle! Stay strong, and keep sharing your struggle and story, you are not alone!

  16. The Director of JQY, Mordechai Levovitz, says its not his wish for the article to be taken down and that JQY would never want to silence anyone, that is really interesting because just last night he sent out several emails to frum gay groups literally begging everyone to immediately email the Jewish Press and demand that they take the article down and then included the emails of the various editors. Perhaps he saw that his tactic of trying to destroy free speech and silence people was not going to work with the Jewish Press so he changed his tune. Either way, what he wrote in his response is very disingenuous and misleading to say the least. Also: Exactly how did the article attack Chaim Levin or Rabbi Levine? It specifically said they were both good people who meant well but perhaps they were misinformed as to the true nature of this "LGBT" group.

  17. Another commentator said you sent around emails last night trying to get the Jewish Press to remove the original article. Is this true? If so, how does it fit with where you said you don't believe in silencing people?
    One other thing: How is anything in the original article loshon hora? Who did it "badmouth?" I thought he spoke rather nicely about the two people that were named.

  18. I wish you the best of luck in your struggles. As it seems that you are not finding the support you want with JQY, I would suggest you look elsewhere for support. The Torah Declaration of a few years ago, ends with an invitation to contact the rabbis signing this declaration. Another possibility may be that you could set a goal of creating your own group in your lifetime. You may not have the resources to do this now but with social media, time and effort it is possible to meet in a free place at first. Your own group could fill the void you are finding to talk with like minded people.

  19. I wish you the best of luck in your struggles. As it seems that you are not finding the support you want with JQY, I would suggest you look elsewhere for support. The Torah Declaration of a few years ago, ends with an invitation to contact the rabbis signing this declaration. Another possibility may be that you could set a goal of creating your own group in your lifetime. You may not have the resources to do this now but with social media, time and effort it is possible to meet in a free place at first. Your own group could fill the void you are finding to talk with like minded people.

  20. It is clear that you are a special individual, who despite struggling with your proclivity, (forgive the choice of words if you deem it inappropriate, I could think of no other) you remain fundamentally committed to the true Torah approach on the matter. May Hakadosh Baruch Hu help you on your journey.

  21. It is clear that you are a special individual, who despite struggling with your proclivity, (forgive the choice of words if you deem it inappropriate, I could think of no other) you remain fundamentally committed to the true Torah approach on the matter. May Hakadosh Baruch Hu help you on your journey.

  22. okay some people are promiscuous and also unsafe about it. most gay men are hiv- and newsflash: there are more hiv+ straight people in the united states than lesbian and bisexual women' says a lot about the premise of your comment.

  23. It many surprise you but us liberals can be quite accepting of people who make personal sacrifices in the pursuit of spirituality.

    If you decide to be celibate and to avoid sex with men because the Torah forbids it then Kol HaKavod. I don’t think anyone has ever had an issue with people who make personal sacrifices in pursuit of a relationship with Hashem.

    However – your willingness to risk the future happiness of a straight woman and of your potential future children is a different issue. I know too many people whose lives have been ruined by the unrealistic spiritual ambitions of others.

    If you care so much about Torah and Mitzvot, how about instead of judging other people you make it your life’s work to make sure that every Jew who is interested in keeping Kosher and Shabbat feels welcome and wanted within the community? There’s endless opportunity to change lives by doing this.

    Let Hashem, who knows for sure what is in the heart of other people judge whether LGBT Jews and pride marches and the like are right or wrong.

    Such work is no less valuable than having a family and kids and if enough of the people who attack LGBT organisations were to do this instead, who knows, maybe we’d have a strong Bal Teshuva movement again like in the 70s?

  24. It many surprise you but us liberals can be quite accepting of people who make personal sacrifices in the pursuit of spirituality.

    If you decide to be celibate and to avoid sex with men because the Torah forbids it then Kol HaKavod. I don't think anyone has ever had an issue with people who make personal sacrifices in pursuit of a relationship with Hashem.

    However – your willingness to risk the future happiness of a straight woman and of your potential future children is a different issue. I know too many people whose lives have been ruined by the unrealistic spiritual ambitions of others.

    If you care so much about Torah and Mitzvot, how about instead of judging other people you make it your life's work to make sure that every Jew who is interested in keeping Kosher and Shabbat feels welcome and wanted within the community? There's endless opportunity to change lives by doing this.

    Let Hashem, who knows for sure what is in the heart of other people judge whether LGBT Jews and pride marches and the like are right or wrong.

    Such work is no less valuable than having a family and kids and if enough of the people who attack LGBT organisations were to do this instead, who knows, maybe we'd have a strong Bal Teshuva movement again like in the 70s?

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